To spend my savings on a boob job instead of finishing renovating our home(88 Posts)
DP and I purchased a house which we’ve been renovating mostly with my money (I had much more in savings). All the essential things have been done and all the rooms we use daily are finished. We’re now down to needing a painter and decorator for our spare rooms and hallway/landings and buying some non essential home furnishings. Basically just making the place look pretty.
I’m down to my final £5k and I’m in two minds. I’m terribly flat chested and have virtually no breast tissue at all. AA bras even gape open at the top and I find myself having to wear small fabric teen bras. This has bothered me for so long. Clothes shopping is impossible as nothing fits properly, I can’t wear a bikini without looking like a child and I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. Even chicken fillets and super push up bras don’t work as I don’t have enough breast tissue for them to fit under and nothing to boost up. I’ve longed for a boob job ever since i was 18, but talked myself out doing it as there’s always more important things to pay for.
DP thinks I’m ridiculous, loves me just as I am etc etc, but unfortunately this doesn’t help how I feel inside. He’s horrified that I’m contemplating spending my last £5k on my boobs and leaving the house unfinished until we are able to save again (which won’t take too long - collectively we earn a decent amount) Am I being terribly U and selfish here? Opinions appreciated
They are your savings, spend them how you wish! If it wouldn't take too long to save again though, why not spend the money on the renovations and then start saving for the boob job if that is what you want?
If youve got the money and youve always wanted it, then I would
You said you have mostly spent your money on the house so why shouldnt you do this with your own money when it will make a huge difference to your daiky life!
Go for it.
He’s horrified that I’m contemplating spending my last £5k on my boobs and leaving the house unfinished until we are able to save again
Well, if that's how he feels, he'd best get cracking on the saving front, eh?
You said yourself you've funded most of the renovation so far. I'd get the boob job if it's something you've wanted for a long time.
If you had agreed with your DP that you were ringfencing the savings to do up house then yes, YABU. In which case simply save up to have a boob job in the future.
I would be more focused on understanding your dp's concerns and working on making him understand why this is so important to you. Whether you spend the money now or in the future, it sounds like you need to resolve that issue first.
Thanks everyone, the reason I’m thinking of getting it done now is because I’m not sure I can face another summer covering up and feeling self conscious. If I had it done this winter I could in theory be fully healed by next summer, and able to wear a bikini which would be amazing!
If I had to save up the £5k again alone it’d take me some time, but the two of us saving combined for the home improvements is more feasible and shouldn’t be more than a year of saving for us.
I don't know.
On the one hand it's your money and your body.
On the other hand, it's terrible that society has made you feel that you need to spend loads of money and have a painful operation in order to be acceptable to yourself and society in general. So many people these days are fake. Even if they've had no surgery and are wearing no make up, people can still alter photographs. I really don't understand why
i had mine done years ago and have never regretted it. go for it!
I'd go for a consultation and discuss everything, or have you already done that?
I'm redecorating, it is very much needed, but I wanted my lips doing. They were disappearing post Menopause. For a while I was regretting the money that I'd spent, looking at more expensive floors etc, but I'm glad I've had them done.
I'm getting a Mortgage on my house and I'm getting teeth implants with around 5k of it and by the sounds of it, you have a lot more money than I do.
I've known a few women who've had theirs done and they haven't regretted it and it has enhanced their life.
Apparently a breast enlargement is not a single procedure but has to be replaced every 5-10 years or so. Unless you'll have £5-6000 every time they need replacing, don't do it. Besides, it is not something easily done. It's a routine operation for the plastic surgeon but not so for the patient. And even Hollywood stars - who have the best surgeons - often have complications from implants.
Don't have implants! Possible major health problems in the future.
Keep your 5K savings for a rainy day and make DH save up for the rest of the work. Just to be fair. (or do the decorating yourselves?)
If it will be easy enough to save, why not finish renovating and save for the boob job?
I Would love too see the reversal of this. My husband has £5000 left we need to finish renovating but he wants to spend the money on a penis enlargement. I'm guessing the responses would be very different
Can you get the boob job on a payment plan? X
Sorry but YABU.
You have both made the decision to buy a home together and use your saving to renovate. To now decide that its your money and you want to spend it on boobs and not finish the house is wrong.
This should have been something you discussed before you agreed to spend the savings elsewhere.
Whilst I sympathise with the OP I do wonder if the replies would be so sympathetic if the roles were reversed.....
What should I do? We're renovating a house and my DP wants to spend the rest of his savings on Abs implants / dick extension?
Is there background to why you have more in savings? Is it a difference in income or different financial priorities prior to meeting? Or does he spend more day to day on the pair of you?
What I am driving at is, is it truly just your savings, or is it household savings?
It does seem wrong to me to move the goalposts on finishing renovations when you are nearly done.
We are at a similar point in a house rebuild. If DH arbitrarily decided to take the last £5k of our savings to spend on enhancing his own body, I would be pretty upset. I understand that people link their self confidence to body image, but I would certainly be exploring that more, as it won't necessarily fix any underlying issues.
It depends, as a PP said, if you previously agreed how to divide funds.
My fiance and I always put our cards on the table when starting a new project, and look at all of our savings, and talk about what we want to keep back for personal things, and what we want to go upon shared things. I'd be pretty pissed if he redirected money we agreed to share to something for myself, and in reverse, if he decided my savings were free to be added to the joint pot!
When it comes to the boob job, I say do it. You're an adult who's had more than enough time to either come to terms with or choose the surgery if you wanted. No one on here would tell you that you didn't know your mind when it came to fertility etc. I'm saving to have mine reduced - they swamp my figure, I can't do impact exercise and I'm sick of having to buy K cup bras and special clothes.
It's your money, do what makes you happy.
Do it! People are so weird about over spending on their houses. Jeez, you really want the boob job. Why would a pretty guest room be more important? You saved, you did your house. Live for you.
We’re now down to needing a painter and decorator for our spare rooms and hallway/landings and buying some non essential home furnishings. Basically just making the place look pretty.
given the above. Sure - go ahead and get the breast op as long as you tandem it with appropriate counseling.
DP can do the painting and the decorating whilst you recover from the surgery :-)
Your DP has no say in this. Its been mostly your savings so far.
Having said that - dont get your boobs done. Life's too short.
YABU. You agreed to renovate the house and it's not finished yet. If it's easy enough to save, finish the house and then have the boob job.
I agree that a reverse 'DH wants penis enlargement and says we can live in a half-done house until we save again' would not go down well.
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