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To request 2 morning lie ins per year?

(127 Posts)
Cakebaby123 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:37:39

Ok so I'm a SAHM and yet again another weekend gone by where DH gets to sleep in until gone 11am while I'm up at the crack of dawn with DC (after being up all night with DD and her sickness bug)
All I ask is that for mothers day and my birthday that maybe DH gets up with the children and brings me a cup of tea to enjoy. We have this argument every year where he thinks because I don't 'go to work and earn money' that I don't need a lie in at all, not even once a year.
Does everyone view SAHMs like this?
He does work hard, but he's self employed and only works when he really does want to. So it's not like he works 100 hours a week, whereas I feel like my 'job' never ends confusedblush

Trivial yes, but its really getting me down.

McTufty Sun 29-Oct-17 15:38:47

2 a year? He should be doing far more of the early mornings that that! Sorry but he sounds very selfish.

ginplease8383 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:38:58

YANBU he’s being a dick.

Miniwerewolfhugs Sun 29-Oct-17 15:39:49

He's an arse

gunsandbanjos Sun 29-Oct-17 15:40:28

Not trivial, is he always this selfish?

You should each get one at the weekend.

Cakebaby123 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:40:37

I don't even get the two! Completely fed up x

Delatron Sun 29-Oct-17 15:40:50

Not trivial. You are working just as hard but just because there is no financial reward he is dismissing what you do.
When I was a sahm we took it in turns at the weekend. Only fair.

PopadomPointer Sun 29-Oct-17 15:41:18

I'd say maybe 1 lie-in a week would be fairer

BamburyFuriou3 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:41:21

He's a knob. Like my DH.

Frouby Sun 29-Oct-17 15:42:25

I get 1 every week. Sometimes 2 if dp gets up early Saturday. Ds goes down to find him, then dp brings me a cuppa up and I go dowb when I am ready. Then dp goes back to bed for an hour.

swinkle Sun 29-Oct-17 15:42:49

My DH and I each get one at the weekend. My DH is currently off work for two weeks and we're alternating. I'd be pissed off if it was any other way, and we only have one 17 week old DS who is really pretty easy most of the time.

PaleMoonRising Sun 29-Oct-17 15:42:57

Go away for a weekend and let he see what it’s really like.....he won’t be clocking off then

sahknowme Sun 29-Oct-17 15:43:37

My partner does earn lots more than I ever could, and has an element of this attitude, but he still gives me at least one lie-in every week. Often 2, and makes me breakfast in bed.

swinkle Sun 29-Oct-17 15:43:41

So I think YABU to expecting two a year!!

milkchocolatx5 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:43:45

how old are the children? He sounds lovely but I'd be more forgiving if the DC are in school and you have plenty of me time. Still shoddy.

swinkle Sun 29-Oct-17 15:44:00

That should be expecting only two a year.

TracyBeakerSoYeah Sun 29-Oct-17 15:45:22

Go to your Mum's, Sister's, Brother's, Friend's or even the postman's house for a weekend/few days.
Then see how your DH would cope!
Then you'll get your lie ins.

internetCrazies Sun 29-Oct-17 15:46:06

Bloody hell. I couldn't cope with that. I'm a SAHM but hubby has great shifts. Works 7 days (split up) a fortnight plus has the majority of the school holidays off.

During the summer holidays I got up first just a couple of days when he was home. He likes mornings.

I do not.

I am not nice to be around in the morning.
DH is wise and kind and gets up instead 😂

Impatientwino Sun 29-Oct-17 15:46:48

Sorry but he's sounds like a selfish arsehole.

DH and I take it in turns at the weekend both when I was a SAHM and when I went back to work.

Because we're a team (and adults who both need sleep to function)

If you really don't think you can improve the situation I'd start being incredibly noisy in the mornings and maybe DD could take up a musical instrument smile

Cakebaby123 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:49:31

impatientwino DS has taken up trumpet but is only allowed to practice it once DH is up and about. If we disturb him he just gets in a mood and sits on his bloody laptop all day (much like today 😕)
Sorry, just having a shitty day x

imokit Sun 29-Oct-17 15:49:38

YABVU - you should be requesting one lie in a week.

He works, you look after the kids and house while he's at work, you are working as hard as he is and you are financially contributing by saving childcare costs - if two nursery aged dc, then that's a lot.
He's still a parent he should still be doing half the childcare while at home.

Sarahh2014 Sun 29-Oct-17 15:51:26

We have a ds age 3 and our arrangement is I get lay in on Sat morn he gets Sunday works for us and feels fair

mimiholls Sun 29-Oct-17 15:52:19

Agree 1 lie in a week would be more reasonable

YouTheCat Sun 29-Oct-17 15:53:08

He's going to be an arse regardless so let your ds play his trumpet. I'd suggest taking up the violin as well and also letting the kids jump on his bed until he gets up.

BasinHaircut Sun 29-Oct-17 15:53:22

Why does he think he only needs to ‘work’ during hours he chooses, but you have to ‘work’ 24 hours a day?

For all of his other flaws I’m so grateful for my DH, as he seems to understand that you don’t get to opt out of parenting just because you earn money or own a penis.

Fuck that.

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