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AIBU?

Tattoos

193 replies

DaisyRaine90 · 29/10/2017 13:24

DP doesn’t want me to get any more (I have 3 In discreet places)

I want a cuff tattoo to cover self harm scars and a Phoenix to symbolise me rising from the ashes on my back.

Would I be U to get them done anyway even though he doesn’t want me to?

And AIBU to have one in a visible place (cuff)
Would it be better to have a tattoo or self harm scars on show?

I might enter a social work or academic profession and would like to run a shop one day. Would a tattoo hold me back at all or are we in a modern era?

I already had the tattoos before we met (and the two planned which I wanted)

Do you have tattoos? Do you regret them? Has it affected your work in anyway?

Thanks 😊

OP posts:
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Eggsellent · 29/10/2017 13:38

Of course yanbu! Is it your body or his?!

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PandorasXbox · 29/10/2017 13:39

Your body so you get to choose. The only thing I would think about is whether or not you think it might impact on you getting a job in future.

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pinteresterest · 29/10/2017 13:39

"I might enter a social work or academic profession and would like to run a shop one day."

Lack of direction might hold you back a bit more.

I don't have any. I'm glad I don't.

As someone who hires and fires (luckily more the former) and directly manages nearly 500 staff, a visible tattoo is a big turn-off re. employment.

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/10/2017 13:42

He gets absolutely no say in what you do with your body whatsoever.

But prepared for the man pleasers to come along any minute and say that they wouldn't do anything in case it made their DH less attracted to them, which is what always happens on threads like these.

I have a cuff tattoo, it's a solid black tribal design and is v obvious.

It has not stopped me from getting office jobs, or running shops, or working anywhere else.

You do what you want, and if he doesn't like it, it's his tough shit isn't it? Grin

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confusedlittleone · 29/10/2017 13:42

Yes a visible tattoo will likely impact you in the professional world

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WorraLiberty · 29/10/2017 13:43

Tattoos are really common now, so I'd be very surprised if having one round your wrist, would even raise an eyebrow with a potential employer/customer.

In fact, I've always wondered just out of curiosity, how many non tattooed adults there are in the UK, compared to adults with tattoos?

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Bluelonerose · 29/10/2017 13:43

I'm covered in tattoos. All but 3 of mine are my story. I've never asked dh if he minded I've just always told him I was booked in and what I was having.
It's your body not his if you want them go for it.

I would love a cuff but I'm really hairy so can't do my lower arms Sad

Do I regret any? Yes. When I was 16 I had tribal tramp stamp on the base of my spine.
But at that point you just went in and picked off a bored.
Hth

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WorraLiberty · 29/10/2017 13:44

I meant 'common place' - not 'common'. That came out wrong and sounded judgy, sorry Blush

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/10/2017 13:44

As someone who hires and fires (luckily more the former) and directly manages nearly 500 staff, a visible tattoo is a big turn-off re. employment.

Then you are potentially losing out on some great staff.

It's never been a problem for me.
Nor is it a problem for the many social workers I know with visible tattoos/piercings etc.

With so many people with visible tattoos, a lot of them professionals such as surgeons or lawyers, it's ridiculous to base hiring someone on the odd bit of ink.

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Bruceishavingfish · 29/10/2017 13:45

Tattoos being an employment turn off, is dying. I work for one of the UKs biggest companies. People of all levels have tattoos and no one bats an eyelid.

My director has loads. Hasnt held him back at all

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Tilapia · 29/10/2017 13:46

YANBU to ignore him and go ahead, but bear in mind that it may affect the way he feels about you. I can’t stand tattoos and would genuinely find DH less attractive if he got one. I realise it’s a bit different as you have some already, but it sounds like the new ones would be a lot more obvious.

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HulaMelody · 29/10/2017 13:46

I only have one tattoo, it’s large but it’s on my ribs, so unless I decided to change career and become a model now at the age of 36 Grin I doubt my employment prospects will be affected.

Would a tattoo cover/complement your scars them in the way you’d like? Will the creation of a tattoo be possible on the scar tissue for example? I’ve no great issue with them and you could wear long sleeves at work if necessary. It seems like the tattoos are part of the healing/recovery process, it’s your body.

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pinteresterest · 29/10/2017 13:47

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle

Really? How many? As a percentage, it would be great.

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selfishcrab · 29/10/2017 13:47

I have a cuff and had no problem getting jobs and I work in a professional field. Why would art work on my body impact on my brain and how I do my work!
Your body and he has no say.

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/10/2017 13:48

I used to know a very, very good lawyer, who was full body suited with tattoos.
He used to go to conventions etc.

Some of the best doctors/teachers etc I have met have been heavily tattooed.

It's 2017 ffs.
Having tattoos no longer marks you out as a criminal, or sailor.
Some of the top professionals in the country have many tats.

Seriuosly we badly need toget our heads out the 50s.

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fantasmasgoria1 · 29/10/2017 13:49

Loads of social workers have tattoos, piercings, bright hair and clothing! When I was training I asked my tutor if dying my hair red would be a barrier to social work jobs (I have many tattoos and couple of piercings). She laughed and said no way would it be a barrier! On my placements quite a few social workers were alternative!

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/10/2017 13:50

Really? How many? As a percentage, it would be great.
Well seeing as I only have my sample of SWs I know from my mum being an SW for 20 years, and a lecturer in it for nearly 10 more....it's not nationwide....but.....I'd say in the area my mum works....at least 70% have visible tatts.

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IJoinedJustToPostThis · 29/10/2017 13:50

Non-political tattoos won't stop you getting into social work or teaching (possibly it might make a difference if you want a job at a particularly conservative private school, but I know plenty of school staff with visible tatts).

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pinteresterest · 29/10/2017 13:50

"Seriuosly we badly need toget our heads out the 50s."

They taught English there. You would have benefitted.

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IJoinedJustToPostThis · 29/10/2017 13:53

Can't imagine anyone would care at a university, given that some of my lecturers appeared to have dressed themselves in whatever they might have found in next doors' bin, without visible harm to their careers.

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/10/2017 13:55

They taught English there. You would have benefitted.

When you have no arguement, attack a random bit of Americanised grammer.

Gotcha.

You know this is a chat forum?

I reserve the right to use chat style mannerisms when writing on here.

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NoCryLilSoftSoft · 29/10/2017 13:58

I might enter a social work or academic profession and would like to run a shop one day.

Never mind what you might do (as that seems quite “flexible”) what do you currently do? Will a visible tattoo be a problem for your current employer? Are you very young? Is this not an established relationship?

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/10/2017 13:59

Can't imagine anyone would care at a university, given that some of my lecturers appeared to have dressed themselves in whatever they might have found in next doors' bin, without visible harm to their careers.

My mum is probably one of these!! Grin

She rocks up in trainers, band t shirts and ripped jeans.

Her students love her and she gets headhunted regularly for charity work.

But according to some people on here she's unemployable. Grin

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pinteresterest · 29/10/2017 14:01

shit. Hadn't realised you'd reserved the right!

You seriuosly offer careers advice while claiming that's a chat-style mannerism? Dropped prepositions aren't Americanisms.

I hope the OP looks elsewhere for advice and doesn't take it from someone who bases their knowledge on their mother's friends.

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liminality · 29/10/2017 14:04

The only red flag for me is... My ex didn't mind my tattoos but he didn't actually like them. Ultimately, it is an aesthetic that I love, and cherish, and him being uncomfortable with it impacted on our relationship massively. It's a massive cultural difference, really. If he really hates ink, and you want it, this could be a severe crack in the relationship.
And you deserve to be with someone who loves all of you, beautiful art and all.
I hope you get your ink x

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