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AIBU to hate name shortening.

(56 Posts)
starzig Sun 29-Oct-17 13:21:27

Probably just me. I see posts of people saying for example 'I am naming my daughter Abigail to be called Abi'. Why not name her Abi then. So common place that people think they have the right to shorten my name too.

Itscurtainsforyou Sun 29-Oct-17 13:23:09

I go one step further and don't like words shortening -e.g. University to "uni".

I know IABU but I can't help it smile

WorraLiberty Sun 29-Oct-17 13:23:37

I don't really see a connection between those two things.

Obviously if you name your DD Abigail to be called 'Abi', you're giving them a choice.

If you don't like your own name being shortened, YWNBU to tell people.

GrimDamnFanjo Sun 29-Oct-17 13:24:35

Perhaps because the long version is seen as the proper version and more formal? I use a short version of my name. Some short versions sound really odd- would you name your baby Bob? Or Cat? Sandy?

TheStoic Sun 29-Oct-17 13:24:46

The child can eventually choose which version they want. Best of both worlds.

Oysterbabe Sun 29-Oct-17 13:25:14

Because Abi is an informal name that a loved one might use and Abigail would be more appropriate for people you don't know well. It's completely normal to use shortened names and pet names for family and close friends. People shorten my name all the time and I like it. If you don't then correct them.

Misspilly88 Sun 29-Oct-17 13:26:14

I love it. You can have a formal name for job interviews, stuff like that and a short name for friends. My name is like that and I like it.

Ponyboycurtis Sun 29-Oct-17 13:26:37

My mum was/is the same as you Op, this means she spent at least the first 10yrs of my life correcting people who shortened my name - it was embarrassing and I could never understand why they chose a name that they didn't like the shortened version of. So when choosing my DC's names we made sure we liked the short version.

BexleyRae Sun 29-Oct-17 13:27:16

Yes! I hate this, in fact I chose our DD name on the basis it couldn't be shortened. But when I was telling a friend some of our choices when I was still pregnant and the reason of not wanting a name that would be shortened, she said "oh no not that name, why not Isabelle, and then you can call her izzy"hmm

FenceSitter01 Sun 29-Oct-17 13:30:24

"Hello I'm Abigail"
"Hi Abby"

Err no, I've never been called Abby in my entire life, you fuckwit so why you think you can award me a completely irrelevant name is beyond me

"It's Abigail actually"
"Touchy aren't you?"

Love these conversations.

Jakandeviesgrandma Sun 29-Oct-17 13:30:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cavender Sun 29-Oct-17 13:32:44

What other people call their child is irrelevant to your own problem, just ask them to use yourfull name.

My DH has a name which is commonly shortened. He doesn’t like or use the short for ever and politely requests other people not to. It’s never a problem.

Shortening names isn’t a new thing btw. People have been doing it forever.

RaindropsAndSparkles Sun 29-Oct-17 13:34:59

I have a longish first name. It doesn't shorten well. The only person who ever tried was MIL. Her DC all have shortened names. Think: Rob, Cathy, Maggie. Evidently she shortened the names of the children in her class when she was a primary school teacher too.

She got quite snippy when I said "my name's Antonia. Not my rl but similar genre if you see what I mean.

Cavender Sun 29-Oct-17 13:35:12

Jakandevie you’ve posted in the wrong place.

Report you post to MNHQ using the 3 dots at the bottom right and then go to eg the Chat board and select “create a new thread”

Santawontbelong Sun 29-Oct-17 13:35:26

Only one of my dd has a name that can be shortened. I do correct the rare cf who uses it!! Dd likes her name. It is her name on her bc.
And the name I chose to give her. Not the shortened version!!

fridgepants Sun 29-Oct-17 13:35:31

People shorten my name all the time - always people who do not know me. I find it incredibly rude. They may as well just call me by a different name entirely.

@Jakandeviesgrandma - try posting in Style and beauty, you might get better advice there?

Moussemoose Sun 29-Oct-17 13:40:00

Yes it is easy yo correct people but they get all huffy when you do.

People really don't just go "oh that's fine" they make out you are unfriendly and rude.

alletik Sun 29-Oct-17 13:42:24

Yep, YABU. Perhaps people do this because they accept their children might have different tastes or opinions to them.

I would only ever choose names that could be shortened, so that my children had a choice over their name. Although you like their name, there’s no reason why your children will, and if you choose a short name that cannot be shortened, you are forcing that name on your child with little choice for them if they choose otherwise.

Both my children have names with multiple variations (think Elizabeth) and both children have chosen shortened versions of their name (that are both names in their own right - so Elizabeth to Beth for example) that I didn’t choose or predict they’d use. DD1 dislikes her full name, DD2 likes it but prefers the shortened version. And they can do that, because I gave them choice.

Moussemoose Sun 29-Oct-17 13:45:07

But if you choose to use the full version of a name people just ignore you and shorten it anyway!

starzig Sun 29-Oct-17 13:47:30

Trust me, the get well corrected when they do it to mine.
I don't see you need a longer name for formalities. I know people that have a shorter version as their given name.

Wightintheghoulies Sun 29-Oct-17 13:47:53

I'm the opposite, having a (horrible) name myself that can't be shortened. When giving children a name, there should be options for them later in life just in case they hate it, or at least a way to make it informal. 'Why not just call her Abby' - well that's not a 'full' name for one, and they will be annoyingly told so for the rest of their lives.

I don't see how shortenings have an effect on anyone else, they are used to recognise formal/informal familiarity in English. Other languages use different ways to asses how personal a relationship you have, for example changing of pronouns or only using surnames. English doesn't have these markers, so if 'Jonathan' introduces himself as such, you should refer to him as such unless otherwise directed.

On a personal level, I find it far stuffier when you've known a 'Jonathan' or 'Abigail' for years and they always insist on their full name. It's just to 'proper' for someone as lowly as myself grin.

Moussemoose Sun 29-Oct-17 13:48:35

I do correct people but it can be an uncomfortable start to a meeting.

Dahlietta Sun 29-Oct-17 13:49:57

Personally, I don't think it's 'proper' to give your child a name like Abi, rather than Abigail, to the extent that if I wanted to call my son Jack, I would name him John and if I wanted to call my son Harry, I would name him Henry, but I appreciate I am one of a dying breed.
YANBU about people assuming the right to shorten somebody else's name though!

DancesWithOtters Sun 29-Oct-17 13:51:00

I have the shortened version of a name that is a really nice name in its full form, but the shortened version is horrible. My parents only gave me the short name. Hate it, wish I had the long version.

fridgepants Sun 29-Oct-17 13:51:48

I don't take issue with name shortening in general - I always wanted to be a Charlotte so I could be known as Lottie - but I don't like the shortened version of my name, am not known by it, never introduce or sign my emails by it, and yet people decide that's my name. NNGH

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