to ask how much you/your partner drinks and how often?

[Babybrainx2]

I came down this morning to 4 empty pint cans in the kitchen. I knew he'd had 2, but he must have had another 2 after I went to bed (at 10.30) while he was playing computer games with his friends online.
We have a 3 year old and a 17 month old (it was agreed that I would be up with them this morning, I had a lie in yesterday so that's not the issue)
He drinks 3-4 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I don't honestly know how much because he brews his own so it's not like I can monitor what goes in the shopping trolley. He rarely goes to the pub but that's because we can't afford it and have young children. I know he'd be in the pub constantly given the chance.

He rarely gets noticeably drunk, but he has a very high tolerance and can easily drink 8 pints before you'd notice. I rarely drink, just special occasions, so it seems a lot to me, but it's a "normal" amount for him as its how often he would drink with his step dad before we lived together.

I don't know if it is too much, or a socially acceptable amount that just seems a lot because I don't drink.

[notsohippychick]

Well it’s really about whether he can function the next day, be supportive, is he grumpy or can’t do the things asked of him?

I drank a few glasses of wine every night. Ok, not a lot BUT it was making me anxious and a bit low. And a very grumpy!

So I decided to give it up. Feel a lot better for it.

So the question remains how does this drinking effect him the next day? Can he go one night without it?

[notsohippychick]

Btw way it’s not easy giving it up! I do struggle after a hard day! X

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

DH drinks once or twice a week, 2 cans of lager (but not pint cans).

I don't regularly drink more than once a week, and when I do it's only a small glass or wine or a small Baileys.

I just don't have the tolerance for alcohol that I used to, and I don't like drinking heavily anyway as it just makes me feel awful. Now that I'm pushing 30 I don't want to damage my health so my heavy drinking days are well and truly over.

Regularly exceeding the recommended maximum daily intake of units is not good for you, full stop. It doesn't matter whether outwardly you function - there are plenty of functioning alcoholics and binge-drinkers who may appear to be perfectly healthy but are putting their overall health at risk.

IMO he is drinking too much.

[Mammyloveswine]

My husband very rarely drinks, the odd pint of guiness or real ale in the house. Even when we go out he will often drive. He will occasionally have a big night out and order whiskey chasers but it's probably once a year if that.

I'm the drinker in our house (when not pregnant) and will regularly have a glass of wine (or three) on a weekend!

[MrsBartlettforthewin]

Hi OP that seems a lot to me especially with young kids in the house. Just because he doesn’t seem drunk doesn’t mean he isn’t/ would pass a breathalyser test. I’d be questioning why he feels the need to drink so regularly but then I drink very little, might have two glasses of win in a week max and DH even less than that.

[notsohippychick]

Oh and my OH doesn’t drink at all x

[maddiemookins16mum]

DP manages a bottle of 'posh' cider once a week, usually on a Sunday afternoon. I can make a bottle of wine last two sittings 😊.
Have a bottle of Merlot in the kitchen for today and will have a glass prepping dinner (Greek slow cooked lamb shoulder), a glass with dinner and maybe one after. My glasses are the 125 ml size.

[Mupflup]

We both drink, and I would say maybe 2 weeknights a week we'll share a can of beer or have a glass of wine with dinner. Friday's/ Saturday's probably a bit more so we'd prob have a bottle of wine between us or a couple of beers each. Rarely go out. Although I drink regularly the last year or so I've not really been drunk at all and I feel a million times better for it mentally and physically, I was finding my hangovers were lasting 2-3 days and making me incredibly anxious.

[YellowMakesMeSmile]

I don't at all, DH will have the odd glass of wine.

That's a lot of alcohol OP, even if he can function I'd wonder what it was doing to his body and health.

I've noticed friends that grew up with parents who regularly drank at home do the same. I don't want my DC to think you need alcohol with every meal or every night.

[Babybrainx2]

He's rarely hungover, once or twice a year after a big event. It's not his behaviour that bothers me, more his physical health if he's drinking so regularly.
From the looks of things I'm perhaps being a bit unreasonable for the frequency but not the quantity. So 3-4 times a week would be ok if it was just 1 or 2 rather than 3/4?

[Babybrainx2]

Danceswithotters - 4 beers and a whiskey wouldn't touch him! It would have to be 10+ pints minimum for a hangover.

His lack of hangovers is probably due to tolerance rather than quantity.

[SuperBeagle]

We both only drink on special occasions/when we go out for dinner.

I would consider 3-4 drinks several times a week too much, even objectively.

[DeltaWyvern]

I now limit my drink a single glass of something a night, between 3 and 5 days a week. I notice that my quality of sleep suffers if I drink more than one glass of something alcoholic. That's the elephant in the room regarding alcohol and sleep. The importance of sleep is underrated and the impact of even small amounts of alcohol on sleep is barely mentioned. There will be lots of people who feel tired a lot, get stressed at work as a result and so drink a couple of glasses of wine a night - without realising that it's the wine that makes them feel tired in the first place.

[Gertrudesings]

Wow, you lot are good. I don't drink during the week but I drink on Friday & Sat nights. Yesterday I drank just over half a bottle of Pinot noir and 2 gin & tonics. Friday night DP and I shared 4 bottles of lager (the bigger ones).

DP drinks more frequently but less units. Most of my friends drink more than me

[Tealdeal747]

A pint is 2 units.

He shouldn't drink more than 28 units/14 pints in a week.

He should have a minimum of 2 alcohol free days per week.

He shouldn't drink more than than 8 units/ 4 pints in any one day.

So he is probably borderline.

[MrsMarigold]

I usually have a drink once or twice a week and never crave a drink. I have sometimes been for years without a drink and could stop tomorrow. If I'm going through a tough time, I become very abstemious in all areas of my life.

DH is a heavy drinker and usually has half a bottle of wine every night, sometimes more. He is never rolling drunk but gets edgy if he can't have a drink, especially when he gets in, sometimes at the weekend or on holiday he'll start at about noon. He looks older than he is despite regular exercise and is a poor sleeper.

There is alcoholism on both sides of the family (grandparents). I worry about it.

[Babybrainx2]

Tealdeal that is really helpful, thank you!

[Lifeisforliving25]

A bottle of wine a night ... sometimes 2
Didn't realise it wasn't normal.
I'm never drunk .. well once a year maybe !
Fully functional and don't need it.
Iike there is months where I can't drink and that's never a problem.

[notsohippychick]

I’m afraid Teals information is incorrect.

The new guidelines is no more than 14 units per week for men and women. So he’s drinking far too much.

[notsohippychick]

Hope this helps. It’s a good site x

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcoholic-drinks-units/alcohol-limits-unit-guidelines/

[IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday]

OP, His frequency is ok but the quantity isn’t.

Life “A bottle of wine a night ..sometimes 2. Didn’t realise it wasn’t normal”

How can you think drinking 2 bottles of wine a night is normal? You need to do a bit of reading up on the subject, because you are drinking far too much.x

[Hotheadwheresthecoldbath]

My exdh was like that,never had a hangover.He also made homebrew,sometimes very strong and drank bought beer.His consumption crept up so that he was drinking every day and although he still denies it it affected his mental health and mood.
Maybe it's not a problem yet but keep an eye on it

[fussychica]

A G&T and a couple of glasses of wine about 4 nights a week. Nothing on the other days. Most people I know drink this much or more, in some cases a lot more.

You only have to see how many times gin, wine, going out partying etc are mentioned on this site to know that many people are drinking a fair amount regularly. Many just won't give an honest answer when asked a direct question about how much they drink.