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AIBU to ask a guy who lives 200 miles away on a date?

(15 Posts)
JoyceByers Sat 28-Oct-17 23:47:59

We matched on a dating app about three months ago; he was in my area visiting and a glitch in the app meant we appeared to still be in the same city the day after.

He gave me his number after I offered him mine and is always happy to chat if I message him but never gets in touch of his own accord. I think he’s a bit shy but he could just be polite yet disinterested.

There’s a chance I’m going to be in his city for work in a few weeks and I could possibly go the day before and stay over so was thinking of suggesting meeting up for a coffee.

I’ve been unsuccessfully doing online dating on and off for two years and he seems so much better than any of the local guys I’ve matched with BUT I’m not sure he’s interested or even if he were that there would be much point as he’s so far away...

Blondielongie Sat 28-Oct-17 23:53:55

Worth a try smile

But please tell someone like a friend where and when you are meeting him if you do. Especially as you will be away from home!!

JohnLapsleyParlabane Sat 28-Oct-17 23:55:19

YANBU, but be safe. A similar glitch happened to me 10 years ago and we have just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary grin

grumpysquash3 Sat 28-Oct-17 23:56:08

He certainly sounds pleasant and polite. Why is he 'better' than the others? Supposing you met up and it was good - what then?

Have you been generally chatting for the last 3 months, or was it a few exchanges and then quiet?

If you're there for work I can't see that it would be a problem to tell him you're in the area. See what happens. But bear in mind that his circumstances may have changed.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sat 28-Oct-17 23:57:35

Why bother? Seriously, think about this. If you like him, how often could you realistically see him?

notevenamum1 Sun 29-Oct-17 00:00:37

Similar glitch happened to me. Him in Ireland and me in Scotland. We are now engaged and getting married next year!

JoyceByers Sun 29-Oct-17 00:05:31

Thank you! Blondielongie I always let my two best friends know who/ when I’m dating and I’ve looked him up on LinkedIn etc so am fairly sure he’s genuine...

Congratulations on your anniversary grin

grumpysquash3 we’ve chatted regularly over the last three months, always at my instigation but he keeps up the conversation on his side too. He seems really clever and interesting and funny in his messages, has similar interests too. If we met up and it went well... I don’t know!

JoyceByers Sun 29-Oct-17 00:09:53

Wow! Congratulations notevenamum1 that’s great grin

MyBrilliantDisguise I’m not sure how often I could see him which is one of the things that puts me off... that and the fact that I tried moving to his city about ten years ago and it didn’t work out. I’m not sure his job exists outside his city either.

Botanicbaby Sun 29-Oct-17 00:26:55

*Happy to chat but never of his own accord
In that case, I wouldn't bother with him at all.

Dafspunk Sun 29-Oct-17 00:30:21

Just do it. Whilst being safe obviously.

JoyceByers Sun 29-Oct-17 08:40:47

Thank you Botanicbaby and Dafspunk I think if the trip’s confirmed tomorrow I’ll just send a brief message asking if he’d like to meet for a coffee...

If he declines I can put it out of my mind and if he accepts it’s just a quick meeting.

whoareyoukidding Sun 29-Oct-17 08:51:03

I think you're being sensible joyce and if he declines, you haven't lost anything. Have fun smile

JoyceByers Tue 31-Oct-17 19:20:36

I asked him and he said yes! It’s a few weeks away yet but I’m looking forward to it grin

RoseGoldEagle Tue 31-Oct-17 19:47:25

Same here- North East and South West in our case, first date seven years ago, we are married with a baby now 😊. Have fun!

spnfan Tue 31-Oct-17 20:32:06

We didn't meet through a dating app but DH and I lived 250 miles apart when we had our first date! It's our 5th anniversary this year and in that time we've got married, had a baby, and are expecting another!

Good luck! smile

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