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To wish my mum would stop going on about my niece?

(91 Posts)
twinkledag Sat 28-Oct-17 20:37:30

Every time I say something about my son, 'oh niece does that too'. Example, my 3.3 year old DS spelt his name out at nursery and the nursery worker told us and said she was surprised he could spell it.

Obviously I'm proud about that, tell my mum 'oh niece does that too'. Niece is 22 months. She can spell her name if you tell her the letters one by one and she repeats it.

FFS. Can't I just say one thing about DS and have her be proud of him?

Back story - niece is daughter of DB who is the golden child.


Santawontbelong Sat 28-Oct-17 20:39:19

Ds can pee standing up and write his name with it in the toilet!!
(Fingers up to dm there op!!)

gamerchick Sat 28-Oct-17 20:41:18

Yeah it will be irritating I imagine.

You could always tell her something then shout ‘WAIT, don’t tell me niece does it as well!!!!’ OMG and wave hands in the air each time she does it.

missmapp Sat 28-Oct-17 20:42:57

My MIL does this all the time. It isn't just restricted to relatives. If she comes to one of my boys' swimming lrsson s or to a concert she instantly talking about how good other children in the group are. It drives me mad but I just ignore it now. I know she loves our dc , she just makes it hard to know sometimes !!

DJBaggySmalls Sat 28-Oct-17 20:43:00

Say you hope she is as proud of him as she is of her niece.

mrsRosaPimento Sat 28-Oct-17 20:43:36

Stop telling her. Keep discussion to the weather. Why let her try to make you feel crap?

twinkledag Sat 28-Oct-17 20:44:04

Niece was there today. When she left 'oh niece is so lovable' hmm

twinkledag Sat 28-Oct-17 20:44:46

@mrsRosaPimento - cause it's nice to share your life with your mum. But yes I do keep chat to a minimum.

Butterymuffin Sat 28-Oct-17 20:45:20

Yes, tell her Santa's peeing story! I also like gamerchick's idea.

MissEliza Sat 28-Oct-17 20:45:30

My DM and MIL are very different people yet they both go on about their other dgcs when spending time with my dcs. Maybe it’s just something grandmothers do? It’s a bit hurtful though .

letsmargaritatime Sat 28-Oct-17 20:47:10

Every time I speak to my grandma she talks about my uncles kids. Every single time. She also phrases it as if I’ve actually asked, which I don’t. She doesn’t ask about my kids, or my siblings, though always seems interested enough when I talk about them. I dont get annoyed with her but equally I don’t get it.

wobblywonderwoman Sat 28-Oct-17 20:47:12

That is hurtful if she doesn't do the same for you son too

I don't really know how to solve it though.

FortyFacedFuckers Sat 28-Oct-17 20:47:25

My mum is like this with my sisters kids, it really bugs me so I now keep my distance and keep the conversations to a minimum.

Grumpbum Sat 28-Oct-17 20:48:03

I sympathise. As a kid I remember playing to my grandma over the phone the demo on my brand new keyboard. She retorted with ‘.... (my cousin) can play that and more) it’s stuck with me all this time the thought of being second best

Luckystar1 Sat 28-Oct-17 20:48:57

Yes my MIL does this CONSTANTLY. They see our DCs infrequently due to distance and the nieces weekly so I understand but I would like their time with our DC to focus on them mainly.

My DM is always telling me just how 'beautiful/clever/well behaved' etc etc every one else's children are. It makes me so cross.

JennyBlueWren Sat 28-Oct-17 20:49:16

But Santa DN has learnt to use a she-wee and does rainbow coloured piddles in Chinese!

I did get a bit (accidentally) boasty about my son recognising letters/ numbers etc so my DB claimed DN (then a newborn) was writing essays on various subjects. That was funny but I do wish sometimes we could talk about our children's acheivements without it being competitive. "DS has reached this milestone" does not equal a boast.

twinkledag Sat 28-Oct-17 20:51:31

I don't boast as I know that sounds awful, but yes I should just be able to share the odd milestone without niece doing it better/first etc.

LapdanceShoeshine Sat 28-Oct-17 20:56:05

Do you know for sure though that she doesn't do the same about your DS to your brother & SIL?

(If she def doesn't, then YADNBU, & should stop telling her anything about your DS flowers)

EllenJanethickerknickers Sat 28-Oct-17 20:58:11

My mum always used to do this about my grand nephew who she saw weekly in comparison to my youngest DS. I think she just wanted to join in the conversation and have something to say herself, but, my god, it wound me up. I did say occasionally, 'that's nice but could I just tell you about DS3 today?'

twinkledag Sat 28-Oct-17 21:00:07

I really don't know if she does it about my DS to others. I doubt it, like I said DN is daughter of golden child! There are 6 other nieces and nephews and this niece is the favourite.

If I try and talk about it to another sibling they say 'some people just have special relationships with certain children. Your MIL dotes on your DS so what's the issue?

But MIL only has one grandchild and I'm sure she wouldn't favouritise if she had more than just him.

jarhead123 Sat 28-Oct-17 21:00:47

My MIL used to do this. She would compare my son to her grandson by SIL who was 15 months older?! No sense!

twinkledag Sat 28-Oct-17 21:05:10

@jarhead123 - DN is 15 months younger than DS and the same level apparently 🤣

Hollyhop17 Sat 28-Oct-17 21:08:00

My MIL is exactly the same. My DS is only 4 months old but ALL we hear about is her 2 year old DGS. It really, really upsets me and I am thinking of cutting contact but my DH thinks I'm being too sensitive.

His sister is the favoured child and I am pretty disgusted that she is continuing ot with her grandchildren.

You have my sympathy OP.

CatsAreKool Sat 28-Oct-17 21:08:35

My MIL does this with a ex-colleague’s daughters- saying how wonderful they are

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees Sat 28-Oct-17 21:08:44

I had this when I was a child, all my gran would talk about was how fantastic my cousins were and everything that achieved was shoved down mine and my brothers throats. I hated it. It made me feel shit.
When she died I mentioned this to my cousin (in a lighthearted way) he just started laughing, apparently she did exactly the same to them. He had called me the golden child (behind my back) for years!

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