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Bloody hell help !!!!!

(33 Posts)
Pixielemons Sat 28-Oct-17 13:30:50

Me and ex broke up about a month ago because he wasn't ready for the commitment (convenient after nearly a year). Breakup was awful, drunk and aggressive etc. But we still said we loved each other and that he wanted to be in my life. So we tried. But every time we hang out, he always tells me he loves me, wants to cuddle, keeps telling me that he is sorry about what happened, texts or calls me daily, tells me he misses me - but that "it had to end". He keeps saying it's because he treated me so badly and he can't see me hurt anymore (bullshit).

So anyway yesterday he had a big presentation at work which I was always going to in the relationship. He texts me and asks me to go on Monday. I'm unsure but end up going in the end. It was alright, but i could see he was making and effort not to talk to me as much. Anyway he got really really drunk and thanked me for coming. Kept cuddling me. He nearly kissed me and so he text me to say he was leaving the pub and that he was sorry. He reappears 40 minutes later and said he came back because he wanted to see me. Said he's still in love with me, that he was sorry again, that I was most beautiful girl etc. But we weren't together anymore. It's was my last night in the flat we shared as I am moving out (memories too painful), so he suggested he stayed with me so it wasn't too sad. I said okay - spoke on the couch for about an hour and said memories of us were so good and that he had fucked it, tried to kiss me and I pushed him away. He told me no one was anything compared to me. Anyway we basically ended up having sex. This man is literally so confusing, he doesn't want a relationship but he constantly tells me he loves me. I know I am to blame for letting him stay but why would he do that after this amount of time ? I am really close to him and would hate to lose him from my life but I just don't know where i stand

Msqueen33 Sat 28-Oct-17 13:32:28

Unless you just want casual sex you need to cut all contact! You’re giving him all that you’d give in a relationship without the commitment. Perfect for him but not for you. He’s stopping you moving on. Cut contact!

Whisky2014 Sat 28-Oct-17 13:33:09

Stop all the drama and cut ties. It's not difficult.

Apileofballyhoo Sat 28-Oct-17 13:34:50

There's something really wrong with him. Go NC.

WhoWants2Know Sat 28-Oct-17 13:39:28

You need to cut contact completely so he stops fucking you around. Then you’lol know where you stand.

PantPlot Sat 28-Oct-17 13:41:09

Dear god. Detach.

Bringmewineandcake Sat 28-Oct-17 13:42:50

What they all said ^

Ginkypig Sat 28-Oct-17 13:48:12

He doesn't want a relationship but he does want guaranteed sex and your Letting him.

If he really loves you and wants you he wouldn't keep hurting you and he definitely wouldn't be treating you as a handy fuck machine.

Sorry to be crude but that's how he's treating you.

Sparklingbrook Sat 28-Oct-17 13:48:28

'awful, drunk, aggressive'

Run for the hills.

troodiedoo Sat 28-Oct-17 13:51:44

Bloody hell. Stop this toxic nonsense and quit while you're behind. Your life will improve a million percent without this loser in it. I know it hurts, but you deserve better.

Cleanermaidcook Sat 28-Oct-17 13:54:37

Good God he just wants you as a shag buddy - run!

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 28-Oct-17 13:55:06

While you’re pouring your energy into this dickhead, you’re not looking after yourself. Let alone finding a more suitable and respectful and decent man.

MyNewBearTotoro Sat 28-Oct-17 13:58:58

Sorry but he's just keeping you on hold as a quick shag.

The best thing for you to do is just walk away and cut contact. It might hurt to lose him but in the long run it will be far less painful than letting him use you like this.

BalloonSlayer Sat 28-Oct-17 13:59:37

Booty call every time.
Unsuccessful till last night, when it worked.

CakesRUs Sat 28-Oct-17 13:59:52

Your mistake was going to his presentation at all.

He was telling you whatever he needed to to get you into bed. He’s using you and messing with your emotions.

Hassled Sat 28-Oct-17 14:01:51

If you're the sort who likes non-stop drama and the thrill of always being on edge a bit (and some people do like that - fair enough) then keep in contact with this guy and you can guarantee you'll always have drama in your life. If you want steady, reliable, loving companionship then you won't find it with this bloke.

WhatwouldAryado Sat 28-Oct-17 14:01:57

I will put this bluntly. He is manipulating your feelings. He wants you available to fuck when he wants tgat. If you want a relationship he is not going to be it.

AcrossthePond55 Sat 28-Oct-17 14:03:29

Sweetheart, you're a booty call. And you've fallen for the oldest trick in the book; a man using love to get sex.

And remember that this will continue until he meets someone else (and trust me, he IS looking) whereupon he will drop you like a hot potato and you'll be left alone and hurt.

I speak from very painful personal experience.

Please, for your own sanity and peace of mind, tell him not to contact you and block him. Do not let him into your life for one more second!

VladmirsPoutine Sat 28-Oct-17 14:04:43

This way madness lies. Delete, block, detach. That's it. Make a clean break. You are not a toy to picked up, played with then dropped at someone's whim.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Sat 28-Oct-17 14:04:58

Harsh facts time. As I started to read, it was totally obvious what was going to happen. You really should've seen it coming a mile off.

He's using you in more ways than one and messing with your head and your heart while he's doing it. You're letting him.

Previous posters are bang on, you have to cut all ties, or he'll just keep you dangling on the string he pulls when it suits him.

Tartyflette Sat 28-Oct-17 14:20:50

You want to know where you stand with him.
Well, he doesn't want a proper relationship with you but he likes keeping you on a string. It's an ego boost for him, especially if he can fuck you from time to time.
He quite likes all the drama too.
So, unless this is what you want just bin him. You're on a hiding to nothing.

lookatyourwatchnow Sat 28-Oct-17 14:23:07

Nope. Detach immediately and never text him back again.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 28-Oct-17 14:29:47

I can't believe how naive you're being. He gets the advantages of the relationship (affection, sex, attention) without the downsides (commitment, putting the bins out, fidelity). Stop seeing him. Stop the texts. Stop the cuddles. This isn't making you happy.

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 28-Oct-17 14:31:36

He’s correctly assessed he can string you along,and that’s what he’ll do
You need to block his number,don’t see him,don’t kid yourself you’re friends
He’s not your friend.hes your ex.and he’ll try it on when horny/lonely/drunk

CotswoldStrife Sat 28-Oct-17 14:38:40

I think you do know where you stand OP, but you just like the drama for some reason. It's entirely your choice.

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