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to be livid parent sent sick child to play date?

(20 Posts)
Sofadaywithvomitingveronica Sat 28-Oct-17 10:33:19

NC as could be identifying

Had DD’s friend here all day Thursday for a play date - including going to an indoor play park. No outwardly signs of anything wrong other than child saying she wasn’t very hungry when offered food, although she did eat and is a fussy eater anyway.

At tea time when I offered her apple juice she said she liked it but couldn’t drink it, as she had to be kind to her tummy because she had been a bit sick in the week hmm. Thinking about it after she said this, there were signs of tummy troubles at the other end, as I needed to flush the toilet after her (not easiest toilet to flush).

Now today my poor DD is really sick. Had lots of plans for last day of holiday with me before going to their Dad’s tomorrow so older DD really upset we can’t go out (although thankfully not sick too... so far!).

So angry at other parent. I would never do that to someone angry.

LazyDailyMailJournos Sat 28-Oct-17 10:35:20

Send a text to the other parent. Something along the lines of: Thursday's play date was good fun but I'd be grateful if next time you could let me know if X has been poorly. She had an upset tummy whilst she was with us and now <your DC name> has come down with it.

Wightintheghoulies Sat 28-Oct-17 10:42:20

Are you absolutely sure the child had been ill with a bug? When she said 'in the week' does that necessarily mean her parents didn't stick to the 24/48 hour rule? I can understand being irritated at losing a day, but I can't see enough here to see it was definitely the child who passed on germs or if it's just an unfortunate coincidence.

Myheartbelongsto Sat 28-Oct-17 10:43:37

I wouldn't send that text that's ridiculous.

I also wouldn't be livid.

It could just be a coincidence.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sat 28-Oct-17 10:46:07

If there were no signs initially of the child being Ill perhaps the parent wAs no wiser than you were

Bubblebubblepop Sat 28-Oct-17 10:47:22

Livid is somewhat over dramatic and you've made lots of assumptions. Children pick up bugs all the time, it's just part of life

NancyDonahue Sat 28-Oct-17 10:48:21

It could have been over 48 hours in which case other parent may have assumed she was fine. Your dd could have caught a bug anywhere, in a shop, on the bus etc. You can't avoid every bug that is going around, unfortunately. Hope dd is better soon.

codswallopandbalderdash Sat 28-Oct-17 10:51:32

I used to hate parents sending their under 2 children to nursery when they were obviously ill. The first year nearly broke us with the amount of illness and tbh if I could walk into a room and ascertain that out of the 10 children in nursery 8 were ill, why the bloody hell their parents couldn't I don't know.

I came to the conclusion that many parents didn't care as it was easier not to inconvenience themselves or take time off work to look after a sick child.

Next time if any sign of illness ring said parent and get them to collect sick child ASAP

ClaudiaWankleman Sat 28-Oct-17 10:51:47

Soft play is fithly anyway. Your children could've got sick from anything. The other mother could've obeyed the 48 hour rule judging by what her DC said. YABU.

Sofadaywithvomitingveronica Sat 28-Oct-17 10:58:39

Thanks Lazy. Wasn’t sure whether to say anything as not sure I could be polite, but your suggestion is good.

Wight Saw DD’s friend on Sunday at a party and all fine then so must have been ill between then and Thursday. Was thinking she must have a funny tummy after I flushed the toilet, but dismissed this as not necessarily caused by a bug. When she told me she had been sick though, a bug seems more likely. Parent also sent child round with spare knickers and leggings “just in case” which makes me think she must have known child still had a funny tummy.

Cross because she is so poorly - sick 5 times since 8am sad

NameChangeFamousFolk Sat 28-Oct-17 11:05:07

If the poorly child played on Thursday, it's only Saturday morning? Isn't that a bit quick?

There's loads of germs being passed around, and frankly most soft plays are bloody awful for germs. It's perfectly possible that your DD picked it up somewhere else.

Wightintheghoulies Sat 28-Oct-17 11:07:05

It could have been Sunday night after the party. It could have been caused by food intolerance or eating too much sugary stuff over the holidays (I personally have a bad stomach most of the time after eating cheese, I'm not actually ill). She may have had a reaction to medication/had the flu vaccine. Or she may have had a bug that hadn't fully worked itself through, and yes in that case it's selfish behaviour if the parents knew. However, if you confront the parents, it's unlikely they will grovel an apology, and if it transpires to be not bug related you're going to just seen as passive aggressive.

VladmirsPoutine Sat 28-Oct-17 11:07:12

Livid is OTT.

Send a text to the other parent along the lines of Lazy's suggestion. Then calm the fuck down. Yes it's a pain in the arse but the sky hasn't fallen in as far as I can tell.

Sofadaywithvomitingveronica Sat 28-Oct-17 11:09:14

Not going to message other parent, too passive aggressive!

Yes, children pick up germs anywhere (was a relatively new trampolining park, so not quite as germ ridden as soft play!) but we are always very careful to wash hands after and are rarely ill. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but seems too much of a coincidence to me!

GreenGoblin0 Sat 28-Oct-17 11:12:56

You could just text and say that your DD is unwell just to warn her in case her DD comes down with it...

Branleuse Sat 28-Oct-17 11:15:28

That would really piss me off. I am not sure whether id actually confront, but I would definitely not be happy about it. I really dont cope well when im ill and do everything I can to avoid it.

VladmirsPoutine Sat 28-Oct-17 11:17:29

You could just text and say that your DD is unwell just to warn her in case her DD comes down with it...

No because that flips it to make it look like OP was being negligent by going ahead with the playdate to begin with.

Cantusethatname Sat 28-Oct-17 11:34:42

I would be really annoyed.

Liiinoo Sat 28-Oct-17 11:47:07

YAB a bit U. People can pick up germs from anywhere. If a bug is going round and you or your DC is susceptible to it you are likely to catch it at some point. You really can't know if your DC picked it from the friend or from somewhere else a couple of days before.

A relation of mine will rant and rave about 'X gave me his cold/tummy bug' as if X personally created that particular virus with the evil intent of passing it onto her and her only. The thought that she could have picked it up on a bus or from a shop door handle or from a kid in the playground never crosses her mind. It does my head in. Catching bugs and germs is part and parcel of living with other people.

Sofadaywithvomitingveronica Sat 28-Oct-17 12:09:58

Thanks for input everyone. Has helped put things in perspective.

Just terrible timing. Older DD still upset we can’t go out today. Worse is that we postponed indoor activity she really wanted to do on Wednesday, as it was such a beautiful day and we went to the park instead. I said we could do activity today, so of course it’s all my fault she can’t do it now!

So difficult when you’re a single parent. If someone is ill, nobody can go out!

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