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Pissed off at my ungrateful dp?

(128 Posts)
mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 21:21:36

To put a bit a bit of context in this - I’ve been with my partner a year, it was kind of perfect up until a few months ago where he royally f*** up and I should’ve put him in the bin. Decided to try and work it out because I have MUG burnt into my forehead, yet he’s never actually made any gesture or anything that he was sorry (not even flowers!). So safe to say I’ve been feeling insecure/easily hurt lately.

Back to the point of my post. To be nice I decided to book Brian Cox tickets as he is a huge fan and said he’d like to go. Bought this morning and they were nearly £200...almost a week’s wage for me. I sent him a screenshot of the booking and all he said was ‘that for xmas?’. No thank you, nothing, absolutely nothing all day. He’s away with his brother this weekend but he’s obviously on his phone as he’s all over social media talking to other people and he’s messaged me once this afternoon to ask how my day has been.
AIBU being furious/hurt about the unappreciative git? I’m seriously considering just reselling then and telling him pop off. I’m not expecting a gushing gratitude, just a small bloody thank you! Especially considering that crap he’s done, I shouldn’t be going out of my way to do anything for him

PoptartPoptart Fri 27-Oct-17 21:26:13

Dump the ungrateful git without a second thought OP, especially if he’s screwed you over in the past too.

Sancerresanwine Fri 27-Oct-17 21:31:07

Well without knowing what he did to be horrible and without knowing if this is his usual way of behaving I'm not sure. I've found that men can be quite literal and not appreciate things like I would. But then I was married to someone who was incredibly rude and ungrateful and it made me absolutely miserable. So if it's not a one off i would seriously consider if he can make you happy, and if not, why bother?

Bluntness100 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:35:01

Did he cheat on you?

If so I am not sure what you’re doing. Staying with a cheat in a new relationship, buying him expensive gifts, when he does nothing for you. All sounds a bit desperate to me.

What did he do?

mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 21:40:16

Well, i found him naked with my ‘best friend’ after a night out on my sofa. I know I should’ve dumped and flayed him there and then, but I’ve not handled it well to say the least.
Usually he makes me very happy, which is why I even contemplated being back with him in the first place. One of the conditions of me giving him another chance was that he buy me a new sofa - which I bought but he has yet to pay anything towards (he earns more than double what I do and lives w/parents)
I’m completely gutted he hasn’t acknowledged it at all when it shouldn’t be me making that sort of effort

mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 21:45:11

I don’t buy him any gifts usually, this is probably the first gift I’ve actaully bought as his bday/Xmas is coming up.

I gave him another chance because we were happy before, he’s said himself there were no problems prior to all this. He had just started to be introduced to my son and I went through a tonne of crap from my abusive ex for us to even be together. I haven’t had much luck in relationships - and I know I’m being a doormat and would berate my friends for acting the same way - but I was truly happy with him before and wanted to give it another try.

category12 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:45:39

Ummm, bin him. You do indeed have mug written there.

category12 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:47:07

What are you talking about no problems before? You've only been together a year and he's already cheated on you with your friend and hasn't lived up to the promises he made to make up for it!

bluejelly Fri 27-Oct-17 21:48:05

Bloody hell he so doesn’t deserve you. Bin him pronto and focus your love and generosity on someone who deserves it. Honestly - naked with your best friend confused

silkpyjamasallday Fri 27-Oct-17 21:48:41

You deserve so so much better OP, sell the tickets and buy yourself something lovely instead, maybe a nice piece of jewellery or something that will make you feel special. Dump the loser and take it as a lesson learned for future relationships, one strike and they are out. He is obviously a total cunt. flowers

Bluntness100 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:50:55

Jesus op, what are you doing? Do you see the best mate any more.? That must have been devastating.

He shagged your friend in your home, whilst you were there, and on your sofa? And you gave him a condition to get back with you snd he didn’t fulfil the condition? Now you’re buying him gifts that cost a eeeks salary, which I’m sure with a kid you can barely afford?

Honestly. Grab hold of your self esteem and end this. And I can assure you men do not respect this behaviour in a partner. It will only turn him off as you can see by the disinterested way he’s behaving. End it, sell the tickets, and move on with your life.

mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 21:55:25

We’d been friends for years and I finally gave in and starting dating him last year and a few years of being single.

What I meant by no problems was that it was the most stable I’ve ever been with someone, something of a slow burner with no arguments and it just felt right....obviously not

LondonGirl83 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:58:33

Ah, you should break up with him. Not because he cheated but because you clearly can't move past it (which is totally reasonable and understandable). This relationship is going to slowly die as your resentment grows and his respect for you continues to fall. And yes, sell the tickets.

mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 22:00:09

Nothing to do with her, and I should’ve known better as she’s done it to other friends before! Yes I was asleep in bed and had let her stay on the sofa as she was too drunk in the taxi to go home alone.

I took the money out of my savings (driving stuff)

Like I said, I wouldn’t stand by my mates being treated like this (the ones that don’t shag my fella anyway). Bit harder to swallow your own advice though even when you know better blush

Meeep Fri 27-Oct-17 22:00:20

You can do better.

OccasionalNachos Fri 27-Oct-17 22:00:51

We’d been friends for years and I finally gave in and starting dating him last year

sad

That’s an awful way of phrasing it, really. He doesn’t sound great. Sell the tickets.

lionsleepstonight Fri 27-Oct-17 22:01:42

Move onto someone who can treat you properly. He sounds awful.

Mamabear4180 Fri 27-Oct-17 22:02:32

You are a mug and he knows it and since you let his cheating arse back in your bed I'm sure he needn't worry about whether he's suitably grateful for your gift. You have given him permission to treat you however he likes.

Leave yesterday!

pigeondujour Fri 27-Oct-17 22:03:03

£200 is nearly a week's wages for you and you have a child but you're dropping that on your 'partner' of a year who recently shagged your best friend? Yes, you're being unreasonable.

Bluntness100 Fri 27-Oct-17 22:05:06

You binned her and kept him? That’s quite shocking. You need to end it. You made a mistake, you should have binned them both.

Now you’re acting like you’re trying to buy his affection and love. His understanding is it doesn’t matter what he does or how he treats you , you will take it, he Can even shag your friend in your own house with you present and you’ll be buying him expensive gifts a few weeks later.

Just end it. This can’t be making you happy.

mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 22:05:11

When I say I finally gave in - I liked him too but my ex (ds’s dad) - I have a restraining order against him and he’s made his feelings very clear about me so much as talking to other men. ‘I gave in’ as in finally trying to move on

Therealjudgejudy Fri 27-Oct-17 22:06:41

Yes you are a mug. Get some self esteem and dump the man that cheated on you. With your best friend. In your own home. Honestly, do women really put up with this crap? It's pathetic.

Mamabear4180 Fri 27-Oct-17 22:06:46

Also..you're expecting an absolute wanker to behave like a decent human being. It's never going to happen! The version of him you think you love only exists in your head.

Greystar Fri 27-Oct-17 22:06:46

He’s not a nice guy, sell the tickets and move on.

mrsgendry Fri 27-Oct-17 22:08:17

I binned them both at first - I gave him another chance because before that he actually brought something positive to my life

That MUG is officially burning my forehead right now

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