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to run away

(6 Posts)
Sillyjelly Fri 27-Oct-17 13:20:06

I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment.

I have multiple deadlines at work that I'm not doing well with and it feels like more is added every day. I'm in the process of selling/buying a house, I haven't really begun packing, I currently live with my sister who gets annoyed with me spending too much time with my partner, I'm buying the house with my partner who gets annoyed when I spend too much time at home. They both get at me about packing etc but still want me to socialise with them.

This weekend for example I'm spending Friday night with my sister, Saturday night with partner's family. Saturday daytime with both of them. This sounds nice written down, but they're both angry with me and it sucks out the fun. Sunday daytime sorting out the spare room. Then it's Monday and back to work. I'd like some tome to catch up on work. I'd like some time to be alone!

I just feel totally burned out.

It keeps crossing my mind that I can still pull out of the purchase, I'd get a lot of money from the sale.

I could just disappear. Quit my job without notice, leave without saying anything in advance.

It's mad but it's so what I want to do. People do do this. I'd like a year without anybody hassling me or owning my time.

I honestly can't imagine how much longer I can keep on as I am.

Sillyjelly Fri 27-Oct-17 13:21:45

sorry about paragraphs - am on phone!

quercuscircus Fri 27-Oct-17 13:33:26

Sounds awful!

I don't think you are wrong to want to have a look at the people around you and situations you are in. Both your sister and your partner sound very needy and selfish.

Your sister is one matter because she is family and that can be complicated, and your partner is a person who you choose to be with for your foreseeable future, and its a bog deal..if they are too demanding and don't support you then you can choose to walk (or run!) away.

You can walk away from your sister too of course.

Can you perhaps send them both an email setting out how you feel (not apologising) and your weekend schedule and ask them firmly to be more understanding and make some compromises?

Their response will tell you what you need to know about whether you should run away from these people!!

it may be just big decision jitters but don;t commit to something that in your gut doesn't feel right

quercuscircus Fri 27-Oct-17 13:36:31

oops, posted too soon..

...I think looking after yourself is so, so important. So if you think you need time out then I would take it.

How about cancelling this weekend's plans in that email and have some time for yourself?

DancingLedge Fri 27-Oct-17 13:42:40

Really don't buy a house with a DP who you have unresolved relationship issues with.
Put that on pause.

Running away for a year could be a great or not so great idea. Only you can know that.

But definitely don't buy a house with someone who is unsupportive. Getting angry about how you spend your time is entering controlling territory. However difficult it is to change tack now with the house purchase, don't buy a house with someone who uses anger to control you.

Bluebell9 Fri 27-Oct-17 14:02:30

You sound like you are feeling the way I was in July. Work was stressful, I was missing deadlines, we had just bought a new house and a few other issues thrown in too.

I felt like it was all too much and I needed a break from it all.

I was advised to go to the doctor, who was lovely. She signed me off work and prescribed sertraline. I was off work for 2 months, but I needed it.

Talk honestly with the people in your life. DP and I had spoken about how I was feeling but until the GP signed me off, I don't think he understood how much I was being effected.

I'm now happy, back at work and feeling much more settled.

I hope you feel better soon.

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