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About MIL copying me?

(196 Posts)
redangryemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:41:35

Just to clarify- this is not a MIL bashing thread. We get on really well and she is a lovely kind woman. But....

She has form for copying me which doesn’t generally bother me but this time I’m really pissed off.

We have a family wedding coming up next month. DP needed a new suit so he went out and got himself one. 2 weeks later MIL and FIL also go and get a new suit. As she’s showing me I notice it’s exactly the same suit that DP got. She laughs and says ‘Yes but FIL’s suit is slim fit not skinny fit like the one xxxx got.’ Still it’s the same colour, brand and style so is the same suit in my opinion. He’s also got the same style shoes to go with it and the same colour shirt to wear with it. DP was a bit annoyed as they will be dressed pretty much the same.

Fast forward a few weeks and MIL asked me what I’m planning on wearing to the wedding. I show her the dress that I’ve got (navy lace) and the nude shoes and bag to wear with it. She said ‘that’s nice’ and not much else. A couple of days later she said ‘I think I’m going to look for a navy lace dress to wear to the wedding’. I was a bit hmm but thought no more if it.

Today she’s sent me a picture of the dress, shoes and bag that she’s got and it is pretty much identical to mine. The whole bloody lot of it!

Why? Why? Why? Does she not realise we are going to look like a load of twats all wearing the same thing? I mentioned it to DP but he became quite defensive saying if it bothers me that much I should change my dress. AIBU to be so pissed off about it or should I just take it as a complement?
Also I’m now debating changing my dress and not ever telling her anything again but I absolutely love it and will struggle to find anything else I like quite as much.

redangryemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:42:09

So...AIBU to be so annoyed and WWYD about my dress?

Overreaction1 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:44:18

Take it as a compliment but you need to broach it with her. Definitely. Something like do you not think that we all look too similar.
Or do get a different dress and when she asks why just say that you didn't want to look the same as her. Then she will get the point for next time.
Fwiw I do agree you would all look ridiculous dressed the same.

KissesAX Thu 26-Oct-17 15:45:18

Change your dress..

PandorasXbox Thu 26-Oct-17 15:45:51

Yanbu. You know what they say about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery though grin

I would change my dress and say nowt.

ineedwine99 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:46:04

I would be very annoyed too, can you change shoes and bag and accessorise with a shawl?
And yes never show her things again, just say still looking :-) or show her an old outfit that cant be bought any more

KeiraC Thu 26-Oct-17 15:46:05

I would definitely change my dress

cees Thu 26-Oct-17 15:46:33

Yes that would bother me and if I were you I'd take steps to avoid the same thing happening again. If you have a black dress, tell her it's red and no she can't see it as it's being dry cleaned. But ultimately I'd stop giving her the information and it will be impossible for her to imitate you.

KatnissK Thu 26-Oct-17 15:47:41

It would annoy me!
As for the dress, could you get a refund on yours or do you have another event you could wear it to? Can you afford a new dress? I wouldn't want to match my in laws either! How odd.
Definitely don't share any future outfit ideas with her.

ems137 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:47:42

I’d have to get another dress. Can you imagine the 4 of you sitting together totally matching?

Ginmakesitallok Thu 26-Oct-17 15:47:47

Change you dress - tell her you saw someone else in a similar one and you realised it wasn't very flattering...

VladmirsPoutine Thu 26-Oct-17 15:48:27

I don't think yabu. But I think you should just refrain from sharing details in the future. There's no need to make it an issue. In the future if there's another occasion happening just say you haven't chosen and leave it there. Not every battle is worth fighting.

Ttbb Thu 26-Oct-17 15:51:18

It's definitely weird and annoying after you've gone and picked out your stuff but bestro just quietly find something else and just say that you are not sure in future.

redangryemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:52:05

I’ve definitely learnt my lesson and won’t be sharing anything with her anymore. It’s so frustrating as I’m back to square one with my outfit and work full time and have things on most weekends so don’t have Much time left!

She’s done things like this before. If I mention that I’ve seen a top that I plan on buying when I’m next in the shop she will ask me what it’s like and before I know it she’s gone and got it for herself before I’ve even had a chance. Very annoying especially as she then doesn’t even wear it. It’s like she wants it just because I wanted it.

Happyemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:52:23

Maybe that's what mil wants you all to look the same.

redangryemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:53:19

@Happyemoji but why?!

DancesWithOtters Thu 26-Oct-17 15:53:24

Stop showing her stuff.

Tell her you're wearing this to the wedding

MissEliza Thu 26-Oct-17 15:53:37

Both my dm and MIL do this to me. Last year I kept looking for a new perfume and found one I loved. Dm asked what it was and then I found she got one for herself angry. I've had this shit for years and I have to be quite sneaky e.g. lie about where I got things. I'd definitely not wear the lace dress now and I'd tell her you didn't want to clash.

redangryemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:53:48

@Ginmakesitallok I like that

Chestnut24 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:55:05

Loving Ginmakesitallok's response! I had a friend who was like this and in the end I just had to tell her. Following on from this, whenever she asked where anything was from I would just tell her Primark, with a knowing smirk...

redangryemoji Thu 26-Oct-17 15:55:31

@DancesWithOtters I think I really need to show her that next time!

wobblywonderwoman Thu 26-Oct-17 15:56:24

That is really annoying. I think I would keep it as you love it but wear something else.

Never tell her anything again - learn a lessons from it.

Would you have the heart to tell her you feel it may look silly that you are all wearing the same thing and let her change it? If you spoke to dh he could say it?

DancesWithOtters Thu 26-Oct-17 15:56:26

Ooh ohh ohh wait. Tell her you love this dress

DancesWithOtters Thu 26-Oct-17 15:57:21

Oh perhaps MIL likes silver?

ReginaBlitzkreig Thu 26-Oct-17 15:58:01

From now on your standard answer should be "T.K. Maxx, and it was the last one, too!"

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