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To Think This Was A Fuss About Nothing

(75 Posts)
zukiecat Thu 26-Oct-17 15:17:27

This was from a casual acquaintance, he had an issue with a Tesco staff member, he had purchased a few items and went to the self service till which of course said “Unexpected Item In The Bagging Area”

The assistant came over and asked “Would you like some help mate”

Friend got really angry and said “I’m not your mate, don’t call me that, have some respect”

Assistant then said “Sorry, was only being friendly, meant no offence”

Friend then went to Customer Service and reported this poor chap. I work in my local shop and I’m pretty sure that nothing will happen to this poor assistant, and my friend will forever be known as “That customer who is so up himself” Or worse!

I don’t think the assistant did anything wrong, calling anyone “mate” up here (NE Scotland) is a pretty standard way of greeting anyone, “Pal or Dear” if you’re female

Would anyone really be offended by this, to the point of reporting them?

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 26-Oct-17 15:19:59

I like the current trend for more informal customer service. I hate the cap-doffing, obsequious nonsense that was considered good customer service years ago.

I find that generally people who like the latter tend to be arseholes. Is your acquaintance an arsehole generally?

minesapintofwine Thu 26-Oct-17 15:20:19

I wouldn't be offended at all. The guy did apologise so your friend was brutal to complain.

I've seen lots of mnetters complain about being called 'love' etc though.

Lethaldrizzle Thu 26-Oct-17 15:21:41

No way - the friend was an idiot.

MayFayner Thu 26-Oct-17 15:24:25

At least he came to help. In my local Tesco the staff ignore you while they talk loudly over customers' heads about how pissed they were the night before, or who's shagging who.

zukiecat Thu 26-Oct-17 15:24:46


I don’t think so generally, but I don’t know him well enough to know really, we’re all part of a group, I’d rather not say what kind as it might out me, but he seems well liked within it

Though maybe none of them had seen this side of him, I would say he does seem to boast a lot about things though

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 26-Oct-17 15:29:57

Well how you treat people who you have 'power' over does say something. But I'm one of the people who fills in those, 'how did we do today' forms when people are helpful, so I would think that grin

EverythingEverywhere1234 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:33:13

Friend sounds like an utter twat. He sounds like he was very rude to begin with (what's wrong with just saying 'Oh, don't call me mate'?) and then to go and complain after the poor guy apologised, that's just mean!

zukiecat Thu 26-Oct-17 15:37:08

I’m the same MrsTerry

I phoned up a taxi company once when I’d had good service from a driver, I think the lady who took the call was amazed it wasn’t a complaint!

PuppyMonkey Thu 26-Oct-17 15:37:40

In future, staff will probably say: "Can I help you Knobhead." grin

livefornaps Thu 26-Oct-17 15:37:54

Just when people are clinging to jobs by the skin of their teeth as well.

Because your "friend" said something management will probably be obliged to at least say something to the poor assistant.

What a load of unnecessary stress when for a lot of people life is already stressful enough!

I hope your friend is happy with themselves and I assume in their own line of work they have never put a single foot wrong

Chocolaterainbows Thu 26-Oct-17 15:40:05


In future, staff will probably say: "Can I help you Knobhead." grin

I am so going to use that next time I'm in work!!!! Ha ha ha (I wish) grin

Slimthistime Thu 26-Oct-17 15:43:43

your acquaintance sounds horrible

yumchoc Thu 26-Oct-17 15:45:24

Tesco staff are treated badly by
the company they work for and take a lot of general nastiness from some customers it’s very unfair to complain about someone genuinely trying to help and they apologised I hope he feels bad having been unfair and mean

Glumglowworm Thu 26-Oct-17 15:46:45

Your friend is a total knob

I hate being called love/dear etc but I don't get cross when people do it just internally grind my teeth and certainly would never complain about it

Hopefully the Tesco person has a manager with a smidge of common sense who will say "I told that knobhead I'd give you feedback, please consider this as me giving you feedback. Don't worry about it"

MiaowTheCat Thu 26-Oct-17 15:47:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EssentialHummus Thu 26-Oct-17 15:48:33

Sounds like your acquaintance was having a shit day and used the staff member as a punching bag.

I don't mind being called mate. I sometimes have a problem with "darling" depending on context, but then I'll respond with "My name is Bob, please address me as Bob".

Ttbb Thu 26-Oct-17 15:49:10

I find use of the word mate outside the context of reproductive habits of puffins and the like annoying AF. But I know better than to take it personally.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 26-Oct-17 15:49:45

Keep him at arms length, now you know how he really treats people - he looks down on them.

lizzieoak Thu 26-Oct-17 15:49:52

Your acquaintance was being shockingly unreasonable. There is so much worse behaviour than being called mate (or pet, or love), I really cannot grasp how people can be so full of themselves that they’d take offence over that.

Complaining to the customer service desk makes it worse. In the modern workplace everything is codified and there’s procedures galore, and I would not be at all surprised if the poo Tesco’s man had to attend an HR meeting and have it put on his record.

Acquaintance is a twat.

IJoinedJustToPostThis Thu 26-Oct-17 15:50:32

99% of managers would be polite to the customer until they leave, and then have a laugh with the staff member about what a dick he was
that it takes all sorts to make a world.

Tinty Thu 26-Oct-17 15:50:56

My DS once worked in a local (posh) food shop and he was also an air cadet so called everyone Sir or Maam (because that is how you address your superiors/elders in cadets).

One day he was working in the shop and a lady came in and he said can I help you Maam, she was horrified and had a right go at him for calling her Maam, said it was for old ladies and he was really rude, he explained that he was just being polite. She was still really shirty about it.

The next week she came in with a little old lady who came up to my DS and said I hear my daughter has been complaining about you politely calling people Maam, please don't listen to her and keep being polite to your customers. Then she winked at him whilst her daughter stood there red - faced. The little old lady was a regular customer who loved the way my DS chatted to all his customers and was so polite.

InsomniacAnonymous Thu 26-Oct-17 15:52:13

I would have been a bit surprised to have been addressed as 'mate', but I wouldn't have complained. It's better than 'dear' which I really can't stand. When I worked in retail a very long time ago, we had to address all customers as 'sir' or 'madam'.

thecatfromjapan Thu 26-Oct-17 15:53:13

Friend sounds a bit stressed.

I saw a customer having a go at a shop-worker for reminding the customer they'd left their wallet on the conveyor belt once. shock

Saw the same person in a pub later that week having a violent row with a friend.

People are odd.

PerryPerryThePlatypus Thu 26-Oct-17 15:54:14

Up here it's an offense not to call someone pet.

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