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To be fucked off with MiL's entitled attitude towards my kids?

(174 Posts)
Neverwasapancakegi7l Thu 26-Oct-17 11:52:38

She's getting on my nerves.
She sees them twice a week. A full weekend day and I see her a day in the week with my toddler and she sees my other dc for a couple of hours after school too.

She has announced it isn't enough. shock apparently they are 'as much her children' and she wants them twice a month overnight too. It is fucking ridiculous. We are already contracted in to one day at the weekend for ever more and now apparently she wants two full weekends. They don't stop with my parents either, just for reference. So it isn't that it's unfair and she's losing out.
I'm so fed up. They aren't her kids however much she wishes otherwise and I'm not getting into some permanent arrangement where I don't see them two weekends a month. More to the point they don't want to go. Dc2 is only one and dc1 doesn't want to stop overnight.

Why are people like this? I used to see my grandparents every other weekend, particularly when I got older and started school and other things came up. To my knowledge they never moaned about it.

sickynicky Thu 26-Oct-17 11:53:45

Just say no.

And don't entertain it again

itssomucheasier Thu 26-Oct-17 11:54:43

Just say no. It is weird of her to say they’re as much her kids confused Id have to reply with ‘they’re not though’

DancesWithOtters Thu 26-Oct-17 11:55:02

Fuck her.

PandorasXbox Thu 26-Oct-17 11:55:29

Why are people like this?

Because you let them maybe?

ShutUpBaz Thu 26-Oct-17 11:56:12

She sounds batshit!!

Not understanding how you are 'contracted in' to a weekend day?

Time to grow a pair and say no!

DingDongDenny Thu 26-Oct-17 11:56:42

The only way to deal with this is to reduce the contact she currently has

BastardGoDarkly Thu 26-Oct-17 11:56:52

How odd!?

Co-parents struggle with eow no contact, why on earth would you do that for your mil?!

Just laugh and say... Seriously? No.

BertrandRussell Thu 26-Oct-17 11:57:53

Just say no. Maybe the occasional overnight in the holidays if the children want to or it's convenient for you. But don't burn your bridges- a helpful granny bear school will be incredibly useful as they get older!

Crispsheets Thu 26-Oct-17 11:58:07

Sounds deranged. Does she have nothing else in her life?

CaveMum Thu 26-Oct-17 11:58:56

You need to start saying no. When your children start having activities and birthday parties to attend at the weekend her "contracted day" will have to stop anyway.

They're your children, not hers - time to stand up to her!

Aquamarine1029 Thu 26-Oct-17 11:59:11

Stop making this a problem when it isn't one. Your MIL is not the one in control, you are. Tell her clearly the answer is no, these are not your children, and no, they will not be staying over two weekends a month. If she pesters you, walk away.

ProfessorCat Thu 26-Oct-17 11:59:14

Um, say no?

Wooooooopsadaisy Thu 26-Oct-17 11:59:50

Stop letting her dominate you then.

I had this with Mil, she thought we were all her kids and had to treat her like the big mamma. It got to the point she thought she could over ride us on stuff - some quite dangerous shit that I had to put my foot down on.

Make your self VERY busy over the weekend and through the week.

Set your stall out now before it gets worse !

StaplesCorner Thu 26-Oct-17 11:59:52

Are you separated from their father, what do you mean "contracted"? I think this is a lot of contact, but why do you describe it as such?

Even if its just visiting, this sounds very odd and over the top. What are the circumstances OP?

flumpybear Thu 26-Oct-17 12:00:10

Just say no or make yourself some plans with your OH to have some alone time - perhaps once a month that’s something nice to look forward too, perhaps your parents the other night a month?? Could that work?

Don’t have anything set in stone though as she sounds like she’s trying to make rules, just turn it around d the other way

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 26-Oct-17 12:00:21

She's bonkers. Tell her she's being ridiculous.

Needadvicetoleave Thu 26-Oct-17 12:00:58

On the one hand, I think it's lovely she wants to be so involved and clearly loves them, but the woman is batshit! Totally ott with how she's going about it.

You need to be firm that while you appreciate the 'support' you can't commit to such a schedule.

Neverwasapancakegi7l Thu 26-Oct-17 12:00:59

It annoys me. She's so entitled. Not just over the children but over absolutely everything.
She blames me as she thinks dh would be ok with it. He probably would be. He bends over backwards for his mother.

PuppyMonkey Thu 26-Oct-17 12:01:01

You're already "contracted in" for one day at the weekend? grinconfused

Your DH needs to deal with this. Just say: "Sorry, that doesn't work for us." Repeat and smile, repeat and smile.

If she continues to be an arse about it, announce that the one day at the weekend doesn't work for you any more either.

MrsMozart Thu 26-Oct-17 12:01:13

Use the No word. Firmly and politely, at least at first...

Neverwasapancakegi7l Thu 26-Oct-17 12:01:32

Contracted - because that's how it feels. Everything has to be arranged around 'her day'

Laiste Thu 26-Oct-17 12:02:11

Stand up to her for your children's sake.

Part of becoming a parent is about having to have confrontation sometimes.

PuppyMonkey Thu 26-Oct-17 12:02:27

You need to break this ritual asap

W0rriedMum Thu 26-Oct-17 12:03:31

Don't even start sleepovers or she will torment you! Just say no - she sounds very hard work..

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