Should I make DH lunch?

[HoppityHopHop]

So DH and I have a baby and are struggling a lot with money lately. We are going to sit down tonight and prioritise what the money is spent on etc etc.
Now, he is very lazy and most of the time ends up buying himself lunch from the shop because he can’t be bothered to make a sarnie. This could end up costing roughly a fiver or so a day depends on what he gets which adds up to a fair bit over time.
I spoke to him on the phone earlier about sorting our money out and being sensible, and he said well you should make me lunch then I won’t have to buy it.
I felt quite cheesed off by this because he’s quite bloody capable of doing it himself, for God’s sake it’s some ham in 2 bits of bread! Anyway I told him as much and he ended up making me feel guilty because I don’t work (since having DD) so basically I should be doing all the housework and food etc.

AIBU to think that he should do it himself? Or am I being selfish and petty over nothing? Probably as I don’t get out much anymore

[lurkingnotlurking]

Oh the things I would put in his sandwich...

[PickAChew]

He sounds like a stroppy teenager.

[Santawontbelong]

Make an agreement that he looks after the baby every morning while you shower /do hair etc then you will do him sandwich!!
Team work goes a long way in parenthood.

[lurkingnotlurking]

Twigs, leaves, marmite, frozen fish fingers...

[InDubiousBattle]

That could amount to over £100 a month just on lunches just because he can't be arsed to make a sandwich, when you're struggling that amounts to a lot. Tell him to grow the fuck up.

[Leeds2]

I think that yes, he should make his own lunch. But to be honest, I would probably make it for him to stop him spending £25 per week that we couldn't afford on shop bought sandwiches. That is a lot of money if you are trying to cut back.

[QOD]

I DO do dh lunch 4 days a week for just this reason. If he has to make his own, he buys and it irritates me
Doesn’t bother me as I work pt to his ft

[Dabitdontrubit]

Well, he should make his own of course, but I don't make my own! Either DH makes mine (when he's off) or I stock up on cheap couscous/noodles, which is cheaper than any meal deal.

So there may be a middle ground?

If in your situation and if I had the time in the morning (with a baby) I'd probably do it occasionally out of niceness.

As for who 'should' do it, well he should.

You're a SAHM not a lady of leisure.

[LesLavandes]

Yes, slice of ham in between bread. A few cherry tomatoes, pack of crisps, apple, bar of choc if he likes. Job done. But he should do it, not you. Men think sahm’s lie back on sofa all day. Try to convince him as it is a saving. Good luck op

[Steeley113]

I'd just do this 😂

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

Fuck no!

Making his lunch like he's another child? Waiting on your husband hand and foot is a fastrack to killing off any desire you have for him, I guarantee.

[lurkingnotlurking]

When I was a child, my mum used to give me fish paste sandwiches every single day. I liked them at first but soon HATED them. I don't know what your dh's opinion is on fish paste, but I do know what it would be in a few weeks.

[Handsfull13]

Tell him you will make the sandwich if he trades it for one of your jobs or he could just do it himself.

The less confrontational route is to write down your budget for things and give him a small lunch allowance a month probably enough to cover one lunch and then tell him he has to stick to it or he need to tell you where he's getting that extra money from

[CredulousThickos]

I make DH’s because for some reason it takes him half an hour and he was getting up at 5.30 to do them. I didn’t realise until I got up with him once and was horrified. He’s an arch faffer.

So now I get up at ten past six after he’s brought me a coffe, nip downstairs, make his sandwiches (five minute job) and then go back to bed until 7. He’s happy, and he doesn’t have to get up until 6am. I’m happy because as a lazy person it irks me to think of all that faffing going on.

[HoppityHopHop]

Thank you for your replies!
I have told him on occasion before that I’m not his bloody mother! But falls on deaf ears.
I think I will do them but as some suggest try and make some sort of compromise. I’m guessing he thinks I will make them either the night before while he is on his computer, or in the morning which is a no from me because I already have DD to sort out, and myself, and I am NOT a morning person! Still, neither is he which is why he doesn’t make them.

[Ellendegeneres]

Tell him to get off his lazy man child arse and do it his fucking self. How unattractive. He actually thinks you ought to do this? You stay at home with baby to care for her, not be his maid.

Take 100 a month from budget. Before he even sees it. If he insists on spending 100 a month pointlessly, why shouldn't you have the same cash to do with what you want?

[RaininSummer]

He should do it really but you could do it (and then spend a lot of the money saved on things you like).

[Clutterbugsmum]

I'd not be making his lunch due to his attitude.

I would be doing a spread sheet showing £5 per day sandwich buying with a total of £200 per month and asking HIM how if he continues to buy his lunch as he is to lazy to make where can he cut it from his budget but doesn't affect the family budget or he can get a second job to pay for them as neither will you be making them or paying for them from the budget.

[QuiteLikely5]

Do you mind doing them? Tbh since you’re a sahm with only one child then I don’t think it’s a big ask.

Obviously I wouldn’t say this if your child was only weeks old

[GetOffTheTableMabel]

Make batches of cheese or meat ones at the weekend and freeze them? You have to experiment slightly with whether to lift them out the night before or on the morning (depends on whether you use bread or rolls really). It can be good if he leaves with a part frozen sandwich as otherwise a hungry chap will often eat his sandwich mid-morning and STILL buy lunch & then you're just spending even more money!

[GetOffTheTableMabel]

Quite a sexist point by me as would probably give in myself and eat my own sandwich in the morning. My dh definitely couldn't walk around with a ham buttie in his bag. It would torment him until he ate it and then it would be off to the shop for some lunch.

[NapQueen]

Maybe as part of your discussion you could each have a "pocket money" budget which needs to cover food and drink outside the home. So he will whizz through his allowance with his work lunches and you will be able to enjoy yours.

Ensure whatever you allocate for the shoppibg budget has capacity for packed lunches.

[speakout]

He sounds quite a catch.

[SheDoesntEvenGoHere]

the arguments in my house because i am EXPECTED to make dinner and lunches otherwise OH wont do it and just eat out and completely waste money! we are at a total stalemate as i attend uni all week and work nearly FT hours and he cant bother his pampered arse to do anything!

STAY STRONG! - i like the idea he looks after baby while you get ready for the day hope you figure it out x

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I do dhs lunch. Otherwise he wouldn’t bother to eat. He doesn’t have breakfast. I think it’s not great to only eat when he comes home and he’s at football a couple of evening. What about making it the night before?