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to not know whether to elope?

(18 Posts)
ShiftyLookingBadger Wed 25-Oct-17 15:42:17

OH and I been together 10 years, we have 3 kids, 2 dogs and 2 full time jobs.

We have seen younger siblings marry after shorter relationships but have never tied the knot ourselves, we are not engaged but always discussed that we'd like to get married one day, however we have always prioritised other things financially; kids, house etc.

I do not have a mushy bone in my body and the thought of a ceremony, speeches etc makes me shudder. Also, family wedding politics makes me anxious! (Both during a wedding day and equally politics if we eloped!) The only thing I want from a traditional wedding is a beautiful dress! And maybe the cake and a boogie wink

I know my family would have no issues with an elopement. Mr Shifty's family however are very traditional and I think they'd be upset. Before anyone says 'its your day, who cares' I really love his family, so I'd hate to upset them.

Can someone please tell me there is a way to please everyone! grin

Fancyacuppaluv Wed 25-Oct-17 15:48:15

I'd do it in a heartbeat!!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 25-Oct-17 15:50:56

Elope but then throw a party when you come back? (With no speeches or formal dinner, just a buffer/disco type thing?)

BriechonCheese Wed 25-Oct-17 15:51:35

Yes do it!
We had a very small wedding, as close to eloping as you can get and we don't regret it.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 25-Oct-17 15:51:57

Buffet stupid predictive text!

BriechonCheese Wed 25-Oct-17 15:52:19

Oh and we threw a massive party a few weeks after. We revealed it at the party, so no one could sulk grin

haveagobletofblood Wed 25-Oct-17 15:53:36

There you go. Take immediate family only. Sorted

Paddington68 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:55:17

Elope and then have a party to celebrate your 10 years together, and invite everyone. If you feel his parents will be upset, speak to them first.

Santawontbelong Wed 25-Oct-17 15:56:13

Bet you could enlist 2 mners for witnesses too!!

KC225 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:58:15

I did it, DH and I from different European countries. Neither side wuold have travelled so we went to Vegas. A couple of friends guessed what we were doing and came with with us. Almost 12 years down the line and don't regret it. , Yes, family side they were upset but there get over it and the only people who remember the derails of weddings are the couple doing it.

HooraySunshine Wed 25-Oct-17 15:59:03

I sort of 'eloped'. There were reasons. My family understood, DH's family did not. His mum was by far the loudest objector... but then his mum eloped a few years later. hmm

I have absolutely no regrets. Would 100% do the same if I were to ever marry again. His family insisted on a small 'reception' when we got back. Fine, they paid for it, organised it, so I went along.

Hollowgrams Wed 25-Oct-17 16:02:22

Friends of mine did this. They told no-one. Gretna Green with two strangers as witnesses. I thought it was very cool of them. They had the same situation with his mum. She got over it. His parents could always plan and organise a party to celebrate after the event if they feel the need.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 25-Oct-17 16:04:13

Gather close family members at the registry office, get married, and then head straight out to a lovely lunch celebration. Easy. This is what I did. Best decision ever.

MrsEight Wed 25-Oct-17 16:06:37

Do it - take it from someone who also loves OH family but after massive fall out with BIL yday he is now not coming and being best man.

Wedding in 3 weeks. sad

Amd724 Wed 25-Oct-17 16:13:59

We did something very close to Aquamarine. Registry office with about 6 other people including my mom and his parents. Went to a pub for a pint, and then a nicer dinner. Ended at a nice bar with more friends who couldn’t make dinner for more drinks and a bit of dancing. Did it on a Tuesday! No regrets. My family in the States complained, but we’ve offered to do a 5 year anniversary party/renewal party in the States. It seems to have placated them.

Areyoufree Wed 25-Oct-17 16:14:26

I wouldn't (and didn't). I never liked the idea of a wedding, but it was actually a lot of fun. We did it our own way, catered it ourselves, and it didn't cost much. However, although I am not particularly 'mushy' either, having a roomful of people whom I genuinely care about, come to see me and my husband... It was actually pretty special. And we had a cake and a boogie. Good times!

Ttbb Wed 25-Oct-17 16:16:27

Just have a registry wedding. Invite just family and tell them that you won't be having a full wedding, just a ceremony and maybe cake afterwards. That way they are still invited but you don't have to have a wedding.

RiversrunWoodville Wed 25-Oct-17 16:22:55

We did Gretna Green, 10 in total including us, dinner the night before and a late lunch with lovely cake after (didn't have our meal as part of a package but apart from that similar to what goblet linked it was very inexpensive but really beautiful.

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