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To have let DS (13) sleep in my bed last night?

(33 Posts)
ReanimatedSGB Wed 25-Oct-17 14:36:42

It's a big double bed so there's room. From time to time when he was younger he would spend the night in my bed which I know is nothing out of the ordinary.
Basically last night he was upset and tearful and couldn't sleep. Part of it was him having scared himself watching ghost videos on Youtube, part of it is due to the fact that he was attacked in the street a few weeks ago... On one hand I'm thinking, nothing wrong with 'babying' him a bit when he's upset (he's only just 13 and in some ways quite young for his age) but I don't want to make a habit of it (he snores).

Cheesecake53 Wed 25-Oct-17 14:39:14

I think that is absolutely fine smile

sourpatchkid Wed 25-Oct-17 14:40:24

Oh bless him, of course that’s fine. To be honest I shouldn’t imagine he would want to make a habit of it either (in the nicest way) if he needs it then he needs it 😊

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 25-Oct-17 14:42:35

Well he won't be doing it at 25 so what's the harm?

I think generally that indulging a little means they move on quicker because they feel secure IYSWIM.

Talith Wed 25-Oct-17 14:43:15

If course it's fine. You're his mum. Who cares about babying - life is hard enough! I like being babied a bit and I'm well into my 40s grin

Rainyboooooo Wed 25-Oct-17 14:44:14

Absolutely fine! If he was fine with it and it helped him then why wouldn’t it be?

fannyfelcher Wed 25-Oct-17 14:48:08

My youngest son is 13, my eldest 18. If they were upset and felt they needed to sleep in bed with me then of course they could climb in. There is nothing sexual about us consoling our kids regardless of how old they are. The fact that it might be done in a bed instead of it being stood in the living room is irrelevant. My 13 year old still lies with his head in my lap so I can rub his head/hair with my nails while we watch movies. And god bless him and my daughter, they lie through their teeth and says that I NEVER snore!

ReanimatedSGB Wed 25-Oct-17 14:50:38

Ah yes, the fact that I snore something horrible means he won't want to do that unless he's genuinely upset - had forgotten that thlgrin

Finola1step Wed 25-Oct-17 14:52:56

Your ds needed you in the night. You comforted him. Job done.

StefMay Wed 25-Oct-17 14:58:17

Great parenting smile

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Wed 25-Oct-17 15:02:24

Attacked in the street? Poor kid, no wonder he's a bit wobbly. They're still very much kids at 13.

TopBitchoftheWitches Wed 25-Oct-17 15:03:53

My 12 yr old daughter had a nightmare the other night and asked to get in with me.
Of course I said yes.

Ywnbu.

GetOffTheTableMabel Wed 25-Oct-17 15:06:02

Your poor son. I can't imagine one of my dc trying to get over being attacked in the street. I think you did exactly the right thing and now he knows he can confide in you when he is scared and he will be met with sympathy and understanding. I don't think it would be helpful to minimise his feelings about this. Perhaps he was watching ghost videos to try to test himself/prove to himself that he is brave. We all need somewhere that we don't have to pretend. You are his safe place and that seems completely appropriate to me. I hope he feels better soon.

UrsulaPandress Wed 25-Oct-17 15:06:34

My 18 year old DD still gets in bed with me.

okeydokeygirl Wed 25-Oct-17 15:10:12

Yes absolutely fine. I think it is lovely that he still feels that he can turn to you for comfort when he is upset. Teenagers can find it hard to express their emotions appropriately and boys in particular find it hard to show when they are sad. I think you are teaching him that it is OK to be sad, OK to cry and definately OK to tell your mum and be comforted . Nighttime can be a scary and lonely time when you are feeling upset. Keep this up.as.long as he wants and he will continue to grow into an emotionally literate young man. Unless he wants to sleep.with you EVERY night which from the sounds of it he does not.

ReanimatedSGB Wed 25-Oct-17 15:14:48

Thanks all. Definitely not trying to make him 'man up', was just worried that some people might think it a bit dodgy for an actual teen to want to get into Mum's bed at night.
He is generally doing OK regarding the attack, will still go out on his usual wanderings, but I can see how it might linger in his mind.

flyingpigsinclover Wed 25-Oct-17 15:15:45

He's your son, he's had a crap time and he needed comforting from somebody trustworthy and reliable who cares about him. Spot on parenting OP.

Wolfiefan Wed 25-Oct-17 15:17:52

I wouldn't be going to bed every night with my teen.
But this was a really upset child who was really and truly scared. Of course you would comfort them.
Poor boy. Hope he's ok.
And no more scary videos! grin

Theseaweed Wed 25-Oct-17 15:18:14

Great Mum. Your son is very lucky.

QuilliamCakespeare Wed 25-Oct-17 15:20:41

Totally fine. We all need our Mums sometimes. I'd do the same without thinking twice.

NKFell Wed 25-Oct-17 15:21:49

Of course YWNBU, I'd do the exact same.

MammaTJ Wed 25-Oct-17 15:27:19

Not only fine but totally the right thing to do in this circumstance. Bless him, he needed comfort, you gave it!

My 11 year old DS and 12 year old DD still get into bed with me, I can't see either of them stopping anytime soon!

Willow2017 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:32:28

Of course its fine, he is your son, he needed his mum.

My 11yr old often creeps into my bed in the middle of the night. I love a cuddle in the mornings with him.

Hope he is feeling better soon, poor boy what a horrible experience to be attacked in the street.

SpookghosttiAndMeatboos Wed 25-Oct-17 15:32:52

Of course YWNBU.

13 is still so young, and as others have said, they're not going to be doing it once they're 25 (although DS1 has announced that he's going to live with me forever and doesn't want to move out when he grows up... so perhaps that's not the case in my house :S)

Hebenon Wed 25-Oct-17 15:53:30

He's still your baby, whatever age he is. Sometimes people, even adults, just want their mum!

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