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Should we ask FIL to give his Inheritance to us?

(71 Posts)
Tatteredlace Wed 25-Oct-17 13:40:13

Long one but here goes.

DH's Mum and Dad has their house repossessed, lots of issues surrounding alcohol etc. We only found out the day before the eviction happened and on the day FIL stole MIL's car and left her in the street. MIL went to stay with Family and they never spoke after that.

DH and I married around a year after that and FIL didn't turn up to our wedding, even though he spoke to DH that morning and everything was fine, and DH refused to speak to him after that.

A year later MIL died unexpectedly. She had got quite a substantial amount of money from the sale of the house and she had got her life back on track after leaving FIL. They were still married so FIL ended up getting all of MIL's money, after promising to give the money to the 3 children he changed his mind and kept it.

A year later we had our first baby, he wasn't interested in meeting the baby. His other Son got married and he didn't turn up to that wedding either.

FIL's Dad passed away a few years later, he never turned up to his funeral. Heir Hunters have tracked him down so he can claim his VERY substantial inheritance. FIL's Sister has said we should write to him to ask for MIL's money back now he has loads of money. She said that their Father had intended to change his will and leave FIL's share to his children instead of him, but he was too frail to.

AIBU to write and ask for him to give the money owed to his children and 5 grandchildren he has never met?

LouHotel Wed 25-Oct-17 13:42:37

YANBU but you'll never see that money.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha Wed 25-Oct-17 13:43:42

Why would you think this man is going to do anything for his family, ever?

I'm not saying he shouldn't, but...based on past performance....!

PinkHeart5914 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:43:57

Why would he? Legally the money is his

It’s all well and good people saying well x was going to change the will but the fact is they never did so legally fil has done nothing wrong and I doubt if you tug on his heart strings he will write you a fat cheque

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 25-Oct-17 13:44:28

Why would he do that?

He sounds a selfish twat and writing to him isn't going to make any difference is it?

Don't debase yourself by begging.

MrsScareface2 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:44:32

In a way yes yabu it's not your money it's his

But I know where your coming from

ElspethFlashman Wed 25-Oct-17 13:44:34

Write away, if you want to waste ink.

It was left to him. Doesn't matter what the deceased meant to do or didn't mean to do. They did not change their will and it is your FILs money.

In fact there does not seem to be any money here he did not lawfully inherit.

He is a selfish unpleasant man. Name one reason he would give up his money to people he clearly doesn't give two shits about?

DJBaggySmalls Wed 25-Oct-17 13:45:33

It's a shocking waste and a terrible way to treat people, but all you can do is ask once and walk away without expecting anything.
Let it go. You are no worse off than you were yesterday. Dont let him poison your life.

teaortequila23 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:46:28

He sounds like a total dick and I highly doubt he would give anyone a penny.

Chillyegg Wed 25-Oct-17 13:46:34

I'm not going to lie I read that thread title and was like you cheeky shit!
However after reading your op it seems almost unjust that such a man should of inherited any of that money. Your poor mil etc should of changed there wills! What a horrid horrid man. I think you can try but you won't see a penny! Even if you tried to sue him I can't really see what for .
Just take rest that he's such a hateful man that all that money won't make him happy or good and he'll die alone and unmissed.

BenLui Wed 25-Oct-17 13:48:53

It sounds very distressing but with the best will in the world you aren’t “owed” anything.

MIL could have willed money directly to you all if she’d wanted.

It’s FILs money I’m afraid. Writing to someone you refuse to see and asking for money is unlikely to end well.

Anecdoche Wed 25-Oct-17 13:50:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tatteredlace Wed 25-Oct-17 13:50:53

I agree, legally the money was his but morally MIL's money was the children's.

I don't think that he would entertain the idea. Although this could be a way for him to right the wrongs and make a significant difference to his children and grandchildren's lives?

Of course he doesn't have to do anything, I know that. If he doesn't then I guess that would be the final chance he has to be apart of everyone's life.

Tatteredlace Wed 25-Oct-17 13:54:05

MIL died very young after a tragic accident, she didn't have a will so anything that was hers went to him. Car, belongings - everything. He didn't even offer to pay for the funeral and brought his new GF along.

Whatthefoxgoingon Wed 25-Oct-17 13:54:36

No way will you see this money.

You’d be lowering yourself for nothing but embarrassment.

Mxyzptlk Wed 25-Oct-17 13:54:38

If anyone is to contact him, it should be your DH.
I can't see it having any good result, tho. Best to forget the selfish old git.

Whatthefoxgoingon Wed 25-Oct-17 13:54:59

He sounds like a lifelong twat!

StitchesInTime Wed 25-Oct-17 13:55:41

You can ask but I very much doubt that he’ll hand any of the money over.

Glumglowworm Wed 25-Oct-17 13:55:43

He sounds like a selfish and unpleasant person. And not likely to suddenly decide to hand over money to anyone. Even his own children

krustykittens Wed 25-Oct-17 13:56:11

He's not going to care and you are wasting your time and energy giving the man anymore head space. The money is his, not a thing you can do about it, walk away and get on with your own lives. Be happy and know that his money is a cold comfort to him.

Figment1234 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:57:40

I would suggest you see a solicitor and consider getting more advice around this:

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 25-Oct-17 13:58:22

I wouldn't suggest you save your money and time and don't bother smile

villamariavintrapp Wed 25-Oct-17 13:58:34

Do you think he will have made a will? If not, is there a good chance the money will come to his children when he dies anyway? If you write to him, he's unlikely to do the right thing, but might he be spiteful, and actually leave you out?

villamariavintrapp Wed 25-Oct-17 13:59:53

Oh I missed the part about the new girlfriend, if they ever get married I guess it would all go to her..

musicform Wed 25-Oct-17 14:00:11

Morally I can understand where you are coming from, but this is why it is so important to make a will. She could have left everything to her children and there would have been no issue. They cost about £100-£200 and whilst you can make a claim, you will have to likely pay thousands first.

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