Sense of impending doom!(28 Posts)
Hi guys. I've only posted once or twice but have been a long time lurker.
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and have honestly felt like myself up until this point. I'm in a really happy marriage and this is our first child. The past few days I can't shake a feeling of impending doom.
I keep thinking that everything is going too well in my life and something awful must be coming up. I randomly think that my Dh might get killed in a car crash or the baby might be seriously ill.
My question is aibu to feel like this or is it totally normal?!
You read the “pick me up” stories about people having that sense and then something awful does happen - well there’s a reason that those stories get printed.
Most of the time a sense of impending doom is related to anxiety - you’re going to have a little one so very soon; it’s natural for the what ifs to start, even if you don’t have chronic anxiety.
However, whether something is normal or not, it doesn’t mean you should resign yourself to feeling like this - you can always talk to a HCP and see if there is a way to relieve your symptoms, if they are starting to take over.
This is totally normal! Your life is about to change dramatically and forever, and no matter how happy you are about it, there is a considerable amount of underlying anxiety to process for any woman expecting their first baby. Try your best to relax and enjoy this amazing time! I'm sure everything will be just fine!
OP I understand this completely. I was pretty devil-may-care until I got pregnant, then I don't know what set it off - I presume the absolute rush of MUST PROTECT THE CHILD hormones flooding me - but I became such a serious worrier. Some women respond like this, other women never get it at all. I only know one who got it to the same extent as me.
It'll ease off, as time goes on. Try not to worry.
Thanks so much guys. I'm not usually such a flapper and feeling like this is totally alien to me! Such a relief to hear it's normal. I guess I've just been lucky to not have any sort of change sooner.
ArcheryAnnie it's crazy isn't it?! I literally seem to have changed personality overnight! To be honest I've read a lot of stories online in the past few weeks with it being stillborn awareness week (I know, I know, stupid thing to do) and I can't help but feel like that's partly the reason!
Could your sense of impending doom be coming from brexit? I know mine is. Apologies if you voted leave.
NameChanger22 haha! I'm sure that must be it!
Go get your BP and protein checkedld ASAP!! It's also a major symptom of HELLP syndrome when pregnant. Please go get checked!!
It’s perfectly normal to obsessively worry as you near your due date. I worried about everything, especially once I was on mat leave and had fuck all to do all day! Just remember that the vast majority of births are healthy babies and yours will be too. It’s cheesy, but stay positive OP.
I was going to say that it can be an early indicator of a health issue but I see others have also said this.
I know it sounds bizarre but I get this before my annual allergy attack kicks in. It's my first warning that I need to check my asthma pump is still functioning.
I think it can also be associated with heart issues.
Obviously, it can just be pre-birth stress and sensitivity.
But I'd feel bad not mentioning it. Apologies if this is just you being lighthearted about an increased level of sensitivity.
Sense of impending doom may not be a HELLP symptom but it's definitely a clinical symptom of rapidly fluctuating blood pressure. Check yours with a monitor at home a few times a day and see if you're getting major fluctuations.
I feel otherwise totally fine in myself. Although I'm now wondering if I should get my blood pressure checked 😂
@AnUtterIdiot Wow twins?! Congratulations! I guess your right! I hadn't really put too much thought into how my life will change but it's no doubt in the back if my head somewhere.
@GodIsDead I finish for mat leave on Friday and I'm dreading it! All that time to myself just pottering around. Although I'm sure I'll be wistfully looking back to it when the baby is a few weeks old 😂
As others have said, anxiety is not uncommon at this point and I certainly don't want to stress you out more. It is worth keeping an eye on the BP and I would also have a chat with your doctor to make sure the anxiety falls within reasonable levels as undiagnosed anxiety disorder itself can be absolutely miserable to deal with in late pregnancy and after baby is born- I speak as a survivor. Wishing you all the very best :-)
I experienced sense of impending doom in a hospital bed after DS was born because the hospital switched my BP medication over my protestations, to a medication I knew didn't adequately treat me and left my blood pressure fluctuating to dangerous highs and then into below-normal ranges in the space of an hour or less. It was honestly the most terrifying thing I've ever felt -- I was certain I would die there in the hospital bed, my son never able to remember me.
I wouldn't wish the sensation on my worst enemy. It cleared up within hours when I successfully begged the hospital to please put me back on the medication I'd been on successfully for months. I was a gibbering wreck to my husband and scared him quite thoroughly when it was at its worst, he still chokes up remembering how hard it was.
If it's any consolation, I was in the lift on my way to the delivery suite, after having been in labour for 58 hours, and suddenly realised I didn't want a baby after all, I was too young, and definitely not ready. I even told the midwife I'd changed my mind!
That said, once he was born, I turned from timid to tigress, as most parents do, and 30 years on, I look back and see that I really wasn't prepared because nothing can ever truly prepare you for your experience, as even if it's a textbook pregnancy, birth and upbringing, it is still uniquely yours.
I went on to have three more, the second one just 14 months after my first. Whether they admit it or not, most first time mums (and second-timers, third etc.) all feel a sense of...maybe not doom as such, more apprehension? The sense of going into the unknown.
for you, and all the very best with the birth and motherhood, you're in for an amazing new life
@WoooooOfOnesGroan that sounds awful! I'm so glad it was all sorted for you fairly quickly
Thanks guys. I can't tell you how much better you've all made me feel with your kind words!
I suffer with anxiety and often have these thoughts. While I was pregnant I decided that because it had all gone so well that my baby wouldn't survive labour. My CBT counsellor once told asked me why I thought I was so powerful that I could predict the future or make things happen through the power of thought!?
I remember that every time I have these thoughts and it helps me rationalise them.
Oh my gosh @Blondebombsite83 that's exactly how I feel! Just that everything is going too well and smoothly in my life that something awful must be coming!
I fully relate to the anxiety thing. I also am inclined to agree that it's worth popping to hospital to discuss just in case there is a physical underlying cause like others have suggested. I went because I felt like I had flu and it turned out I had something serious (in this case, it was Hellp) and needed to be induced. I had absolutely no reason to believe I had something properly wrong with me at the time and am so lucky I went in.
(and for all the time I lay there having my bloods checked, I felt less like I had flu and more like an idiot for wasting their time. Little did I know what they would find)
I think its a normal reaction to a huge change. I don’t think its doom,per say, i think its the brain preparing for the ending of one thing, and the start of another. I had it in all my pregnancies. What helped me was going over my birth plan, re discussing things like visitors and what came after, returning home. Just refocusing on prep. X
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