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To be fed up with my relationship/life?

(15 Posts)
Differenceadaymakes4064 Wed 25-Oct-17 10:52:30

I'll try to keep this short.... I've been with OH for 7 years and have a child together plus I inherited a step child with him. Said he's never marry me because I'm not "marriage material" apparently.
To begin, I had a top career and was the sole breadwinner, fast forward 7 years and now OH is the sole breadwinner and I'm a SAHM. I constantly get "your a sh*t girlfriend", "your useless", "you're fat and no one else would want you" along with "i'd be better off without you."
I'm really fed up and annoyed that I can't see a way out of this because I'm reliant on him financially and he owns our house. What to do.... I don't really know what I expect to come out of this post, apart from having a little rant!
Thank you for reading

PandorasXbox Wed 25-Oct-17 11:11:46

Can you go back to work? You need to get shut of him and fast.

Chocolatteandbiscuits Wed 25-Oct-17 11:15:44

He's abusive. This is what they do. He's made you reliant on him so it's harder for you to leave. He's been chipping at your self esteem so you think you don't deserve better but you do! You need to leave

DunkMeInTomatoSoup Wed 25-Oct-17 11:18:36

He's abusive. Get out now.

BulletFox Wed 25-Oct-17 11:20:18

No no no no no. He's wearing you down, please get out

Teddy7878 Wed 25-Oct-17 11:22:17

Do you have family you could stay with for a while?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 25-Oct-17 11:25:07

Get a job. Then you will have money. Then you can get your own place and leave him to it.

If you had a top career before you can have one again.

You probably knew that already. What's stopping you from stopping being a SAHP?

NancyDonahue Wed 25-Oct-17 11:28:17

First off, do you have money? Bank account? Get that sorted and get as much money together as you can. Can you stay with family or friends while you get yourself on your feet? 7 years (or less) isn't that long out of the workplace, get some cvs off to your old firms with a letter explaining skills/hours you can do asap.

Hayandy73 Wed 25-Oct-17 11:30:00

Ive just done a post yesterday about thinking my partner is cheating because because of the way we got together and mostly people said it sounds like a rubbish relationship but my god he would never speak to me like that!
You do need to get back to work to get your independence back- my partner and I both work and if I didn't I would feel even more paranoid and alone if I didn't, your will always have the upper hand while you are in this situation. I hope you didn't leave work just because you had a child or because your partner thought it was a good idea though.

BulletFox Wed 25-Oct-17 11:36:57

Get a job, get out. What he says isn't true.

Something which always struck me from a book:

Have you ever stayed in a place where you wanted someone who didn't want you? Well don't - never do. Get out. Don't stay in a place where you want someone who doesn't want you. Get out as quickly as you can and don't come back. That's all I can say. That's all you can do.

CoraPirbright Wed 25-Oct-17 11:42:52

Can you step back into your career? Even at a lower level? Start investigating that. Try to remember the person you were - the confident, smart professional woman who was respected at work for her intelligence, knowledge and expertise. You can be that woman again. Your horrible little sod of a partner has slowly chipped away at your confidence. You are worth a million of him!!! Who on earth would say such awful things to anyone let alone the mother of his child?? Out of interest, why did he split up with the mother of his first child? Pound to a penny it was because he was a nasty piece of work to her too.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 25-Oct-17 11:43:10

Do you have a supportive family at all?
Please call Womens Aid.
This is full on abuse and you need to get away from him.
Womens Aid can help you with an exit plan.

napmeistergeneral Wed 25-Oct-17 11:47:18

Get away from him. Easier said than done, I know. You will be fine on your own, much better than with a man who treats you like this.

ButchyRestingFace Wed 25-Oct-17 11:55:57

Said he's never marry me because I'm not "marriage material" apparently.

Wasn’t really any need to read beyond this point, was there?

I hope at least you’ve stopped sleeping with this prince among men.

BulletFox Wed 25-Oct-17 11:59:54

It shouldn't be control and dominate, it should be protect and support.

Please start thinking seriously about what you're going to do long term and how to extricate yourself. Good luck smile

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