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AIBU to worry about little boy?

(86 Posts)
KarmaStar Wed 25-Oct-17 01:38:26

Hello,
I would like sensible advice please.
Our house is a semi detached with our back doors very close to each other,just a fence separating us.
Our young neighbours are a lovely couple who very much keep themselves to themselves which we are fine with.
When their little boy refuses to stay in bed at bed time he is taken outside and told to stay there until he behaves and he hammers on the locked door screaming and crying.after about ten minutes he is allowed back in.
When he misbehaves we can hear mum shouting through the walls.she tells him to get a bag and pack all his stuff,his clothes and toys as he has to go for being naughty.he is screaming and clearly very distressed.at other times I hear her really bellow at him that she doesn't like or want him and that he is a horrible boy and he can get out of the house for good.
The majority of the time they are a lovely family but when she lets rip the little boy(3/4 yr old)is screaming in fear and distress,it's heart breaking.
I feel terrible for writing about them as most of the time they appear like a normal loving family.should I just continue to ignore these incidents?
He used to be a sunny natured child but now is often angry,breaking things and shouting a lot.
I don't know if I should say or do anything or just mind my own business.

MontytheSpookyMouse Wed 25-Oct-17 01:42:31

You need to report this. They aren't a lovely couple for treating their son this way.
Either they can't cope and need help or they are just horrid. Either way it needs reporting.

Calling the NSPCC advice line is possibly the best way to go assuming you want to be anon.

KarmaStar Wed 25-Oct-17 01:43:52

Thank you Monty I appreciate your advice

condepetie Wed 25-Oct-17 01:48:01

Yep, immediate report to someone, assuming what you say is wholly factual. It's abuse. The NSPCC is a really good resource who can give you numbers to call for your local social services.

Hellywelly10 Wed 25-Oct-17 01:52:01

This sounds cruel. Yanbu

FluffyPineapple Wed 25-Oct-17 01:52:40

From your OP it is apparent that the parents have no idea how to manage basic parenting. Your post certainly sends alarm bells ringing.

Have no hesitation in reporting your concerns. Parent and child will be supported xx

Rescuepuppydaft2 Wed 25-Oct-17 01:53:48

That poor little boy 😢 please contact the HV/ school/ ss/ gp/ nspcc!!! It is not normal to be locked outside, or screamed at like that!! Of course his behaviour is declining, he is miserable!!! I would record what you can hear, as well as video/ write down as evidence for ss.

Do you know the local health visitor to speak to? Or would you consider reporting to ss either through contacting children's services or the nspcc? It breaks my heart that this tiny boy is treated like this! It may be the case of a Mum who has severe depression and needs support. Someone needs to be done though.

Rescuepuppydaft2 Wed 25-Oct-17 01:55:44

Something not someone 😡

KarmaStar Wed 25-Oct-17 01:59:16

Thank you all for your advice.yes everything I've stated I have clearly heard ,there has been no misinterpretation.everything is so loud it is impossible not to hear.I will take the action you have advised and hopefully his life will improve.
Thank you.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 25-Oct-17 02:01:48

I agree it's emotional abuse which requires action.

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 25-Oct-17 02:05:50

If you can film or record him outside hte house begging and banging to be let back in then do that, it will really help any report you make.

Poor wee thing, it breaks my heart reading about it sad

Seeingadistance Wed 25-Oct-17 02:08:34

Oh, this is so distressing just to read about. It must be really dreadful to hear.

Poor wee boy.

Yes, absolutely you're doing the right thing to report.

Italiangreyhound Wed 25-Oct-17 02:13:12

KarmaStar I am really glad you are going to report this, it is abuse and it is terrible.

You can report this to NSPCC anonymously, or you can give your details. If you do not want to be identified do not give your name or details when you call. By this I mean if you phone up and give your name you cannot then take it back! But if you report it then decide you do wish to be identified you can give your name at the end.

www.nspcc.org.uk/

Help for adults concerned about a child
Call us on 0808 800 5000

They may appear like a normal loving family but what they are doing to their child is wrong and will seriously impact his mental health. With help and advice they may be able to change this and learn appropriate ways to relate to their child.

Seeingadistance Wed 25-Oct-17 02:18:17

My ex husband was neglected and horribly abused by his mother when he was little - as were all his siblings too, but he got the brunt of it. He knows that others, including neighbours and people in church must have known about it, but no one did anything to help them.

You can help this little boy. And change his life for the better.

octoberfarm Wed 25-Oct-17 02:47:45

I work in a Child Protection field and would 100% agree with previous posters who've said you should report. Please do call the NSPCC, no child deserves this.

Greebz Wed 25-Oct-17 02:56:13

You're not being unreasonable! Please report this abusive behaviour, call the NSPCC or your local social services. This is not an ok way to treat a little child.

mathanxiety Wed 25-Oct-17 03:42:47

This is horrible abuse and mist be reported. No wonder the poor child is becoming angry. Call your local social services.

If the child is in school and you know where, call his school too, and ask for the safeguarding person. it is possible a school has noticed behaviour or has him on the radar for some reason and a call would trigger action on their part.

emmyrose2000 Wed 25-Oct-17 03:54:37

That poor little boy.

This abuse definitely needs to be reported, If you can get a video or audio of this happening, all the better.

Our young neighbours are a lovely couple
No. No, they are not. Their abusive behaviour towards their little boy completely contradicts and negates that.

mylaptopismylapdog Wed 25-Oct-17 04:33:37

I would be consider recording the next time you hear them too, just to make sure the little there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that he is being abused. Many st be heartbreaking to be a witness to all this, poor child.

fatfingeredfran Wed 25-Oct-17 05:10:10

😭 please report, how heart breaking. They obviously need support and training in parenting techniques. Perhaps they know no other way. What a shame for the little boy.

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 25-Oct-17 05:12:14

Poor little boy. ❤️ I was emotionally abused. Thank you for caring and for deciding to get help.

KarmaStar Wed 25-Oct-17 20:04:26

I don't know which pre school he is at or much about them,in the last few months they have become much more keeping themselves to themselves hardly speaking to any neighbours,the rest of us are friendly and helpful if required but they keep quiet,I'm more than happy to respect people's privacy..I have not typed here anything that has not happened,it is all factual.one evening when the little one was outside sobbing his heart out and begging to be allowed in I went out to try and comfort him and he was immediately taken in and the door slammed shut.tomorrow morning I will contact the agencies you have all suggested.Thank you so much for your advice everyone and I apologize to anyone who has had bad memories brought to mind xx

MadisonAvenue Wed 25-Oct-17 20:19:13

Poor little boy, thank you for caring about him.

HarryHarry Wed 25-Oct-17 20:36:09

My mum used to do this with me and it hasn't affected me but I don't know if that makes it OK.

Italiangreyhound Wed 25-Oct-17 23:16:14

OP please do speak to the authorities or NSPCC soon.

Harry I am very sorry to hear you experienced this. I am glad if it has not affected you. Do you have kids, I hope if you do you are able to parent brilliantly. thanks But not all victims of this sort of abuse would be so lucky.

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