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To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

(424 Posts)
revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:33:13

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

StickThatInYourPipe Tue 24-Oct-17 23:34:22

Why is that inappropriate? Surely that's just encouragement for your hobby?

catbas Tue 24-Oct-17 23:35:08

Would you find it offensive if a woman said it? I don't get the drama sorry

Farontothemaddingcrowd Tue 24-Oct-17 23:35:21

Really? It sounds fine to me!

Lj8893 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:35:29

Did you post about him the other day? This thread seems really similar to another one.

I don't think it sounds that bad, it certainly wouldn't worry me if my husband sent that to another woman. But it would depend on the rest of the situation/red flags.

MarklahMarklah Tue 24-Oct-17 23:36:32

Not sure I see the problem. If a female friend said it, would you think she had 'crossed the line's?

NeedsAsockamnesty Tue 24-Oct-17 23:36:38

Do you think he wanted to fondle your abs?

Because I would read that as he wanted abs like yours

revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:37:09

Lj8893 yes I did! Well it was a private message... he could have said it Publicly on Instagram, that's the red line.

MarklahMarklah Tue 24-Oct-17 23:37:10

*line, obviously.
Stupid autocorrect.

huphep Tue 24-Oct-17 23:37:51

Deleted and blocked him? Bit harsh

StickThatInYourPipe Tue 24-Oct-17 23:38:24

I only ever pm people is that crossing some line I didn't know about?

Lj8893 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:39:12

You have already said he's shy, perhaps that shyness extends to social media usage to and he doesn't want to post publicly.

I didn't find anything weird about your previous thread either I'm afraid.

revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:40:28

He's ALWAYS liking my stuff. Some random comments here and there. I barely know the guy IRL. And he has commented stuff like "loving the new hair xx"

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge Tue 24-Oct-17 23:40:45

I think you’re seeing something that isn’t there OP.

Lj8893 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:41:46

I think he's just being friendly and complimentary.

steff13 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:42:30

Either there's going to be a major drip feed, or this is a non- issue. He sounds nice. He likes your hair, he's impressed with your achievements, etc.

KenBarlow Tue 24-Oct-17 23:42:36

I don’t think he’s over stepped the line, admittedly I’d find those sort of compliments too much but some people are just like that! Men and women.

No flirting from the sound of things!

revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:44:58

Well that's what I thought too... Maybe I'm imagining things, but I don't know I don't make those comments about anyone nor anyone comments as much as he does. He even liked completely unrelated stuff listening to a band or.missing my dog

StickThatInYourPipe Tue 24-Oct-17 23:46:04

Presumably his wife can see him commenting etc on your page?

revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:47:12

Ok here's the original post: Hey ladies! I'd appreciate your opinion on this matter. I'm actually not that bothered and for the most part I'm amused BUT something feels kind of iffy.
So here it goes:
There's this guy who's also a runner. We're friends on Strava (and later on instagram and Facebook). He added me to social media before I had met him in person (I met him in person a few weeks ago as we're part of the same running club - note there's a small chance I actually met him before but didn't remember his face although given the context of other conversations I don't think that's true-). His wife is a friend of a friend who I do wave to if I bump into her.

Anyways, so it all started probably around 6 weeks ago he commented on one of my runs saying how he'd seen me running around town ( I hadn't met him in person by then - see note above-).

Ever since that moment he's liked EVERY single post on instagram and most of the times he comments on them. My instagram is more geared towards fitness so, yes there are some photos of me wearing just a sports bra and running shorts. Until now I was just like yeah yeah whatever (although the first comment did freak me out a bit) but thought well everything is running / fitness related anyways...

Today though I uploaded a photo showing my new hairstyle... well he did comment "loving the new hair smile ".

Would you say I have a "not so secret fan" or he's just some random friendly runner?

and BTW when we're at club he'll barely speak to me...

revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:48:17

StickThatInYourPipe she's not on Instagram so she can't unless she looks for me. And this was a private message so unless she goes through his phone she won't see it at all.

KenBarlow Tue 24-Oct-17 23:51:44

I think you’re over reacting OP, he sounds like he’s friendly and admires you but is painfully shy in person.

There isn’t anything wrong that he has done!

StickThatInYourPipe Tue 24-Oct-17 23:53:34

I was quite clearly talking about the public messages of admiration he is showering over you.

I think you should tell his wife and then report back about he reaction you get. He is clearly trying to start an affair

revolution909 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:54:49

Thank you! I actually appreciate all the different opinions as most people have called him a creep :/

Pumperthepumper Tue 24-Oct-17 23:55:54

It's absolutely fine to block and delete if you feel he's overstepped the mark. I would find the comments on every post a bit much too.

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