Backstory: Their birthdays are 9 days apart. We're both a bit skint atm. Neither is having an expensive arranged party (leisure centre/soft play/£200 session in hell etc) but both will be having family parties with GPs and cousins. DH and I are also taking her to a huge tourist attraction that she will LOVE on her birthday.
A very good friend and I have discussed swapping presents for our STB3yos. We've said that instead of buying each other's child a token gift for the sake of it, DF and I decided that we will take our DC out for an exciting day trip (to somewhere the girls haven't been before, not like a soft play or swimming...)
I told DH this tonight and he seemed flabbergasted saying it was weird (twice) and strange (twice) and that it wasn't the kids' fault that we (all 4 parents) were having to be careful with money... And that we should really swap gifts so that DD and DF's DD get a little present from someone who isn't a family member.
I just thought it had been a really nice idea to do something with her friend and that they'd love it, more likely remember it much more than a token book/toy that will invariably become clutter and chucked out eventually. Now I feel quite deflated and I have taken an inference (possibly unfairly) that I'm somehow doing my DD out of something...
Obviously we have the money to spend a few quid on each other's child buy isn't the thought of going to spend time and ding something exciting better than just exchanging a small gift for the sake of having a gift?
If IABU then I need to apologise to DH as I've kind of stropped off to bed....
I think it's a fab idea, not really sure how it'll be cheaper than a present but I find days or quite pricey, but if it works for you I don't see anything wrong with it. Kids get enough 'stuff', don't think they'll miss a present when they get quality time out instead.
My girlfriends and I actually started to do this for one another a few years back. Instead of presents we go for a lovely lunch, or the theatre, or get our nails done together, or whatever. We do usually bring a token gift like a bunch of flowers, or a bottle of wine, but it’s more about the doing stuff - “the gift of time”, if you like.
Tell your H to keep his beak out. You and your friend have decided on something that will make the DCs happy and please the two of you: no need to amend it just because your H (who presumably won't be going) has got a stick up his arse.