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How can I find out what I want from life?

(10 Posts)
RangeTesKopeks Tue 24-Oct-17 22:21:25

Inspired (kind of) by the life lessons one.

I'm applying for jobs at the moment, in my twenties and feeling confused about what I want. Also having counselling at the moment for a couple of things, which hopefully will help with my feelings of confusion, indecision, low self-esteem etc.

Anyway.... I was at a careers talk the other day when they talked about 'careers by happenstance'. The idea behind this (AFAIK) is that you apply for jobs and, if you get offered anything, you go for the job that feels right at the time.

I'd never heard about this before, and I'm finding it really reassuring, as it's suggesting that I just need to trust myself and to know I'm making the right decision for me at the time (I've always found it really hard to trust myself and have faith!) I've also learned - although I kind of knew this already - that I don't really have any expectations of myself, if that makes sense - the only expectations that I respond to are ones that others have of me or that I think others have to me. So I'm starting to learn how to trust myself and believe in myself, but it's going to take a while, I think.

The 'careers by happenstance' approach is essentially the approach that I'm taking, but I'd also like to be successful and to have good earning potential too, and I'm just not sure that I could achieve that with the careers by happenstance thing. Being totally honest on here as I know it's anonymous!

A handhold and practical/emotional advice would be very much appreciated please!

Thank you smile

RangeTesKopeks Tue 24-Oct-17 22:22:35

*inspired by the life lesson thread.

*or that I think others have of me.

Sorry about the typos! blush

BlueberryButtons Tue 24-Oct-17 22:35:11

it’s like Schrodinger’s cat, isnt it, you’ll never know until you open the box! My career is totally by happpenstance and I am extremely pleased that many years ago I took a decision to give it a go. If you are uncertain, it does help to make a “+/-“ list and consider whether you’d be happy doing that job. Alternatively, if you know someone working in that field, it’d be good to talk to them and get a bit of a backstage sneak peak to weigh your options. And trust yourself, your gut feeling will be there definitely. Good luck!

Babybrainx2 Tue 24-Oct-17 22:38:45

My advice would be not to stress. I spent all of my teens prepping for a career as a solicitor. Work experience, law degree, place secured at the College of Law in London and a foot in the door at a firm. On the day I was due to sign a bank loan to cover the fees, I got a feeling that it wasn't right for me. Thought what is the opposite career? Primary school teacher. Applied that weekend for my pgce and started 6 weeks later. Haven't looked back. Unexpected pregnancy 8 weeks into my first teaching job and 4 years later working part time and raising 2 children. Starting a masters next year to potentially open doors into teacher training in future.

There's only so much you can plan for. I think your apply and see what feels right is a great idea, as long as the applications are in areas you are interested in!

RangeTesKopeks Tue 24-Oct-17 23:26:23

Thanks Blueberry and Babybrain smile

redexpat Tue 24-Oct-17 23:44:39

Have you tried temping as adnin? You get a lot of insight into different organisations and roles that people have. It might also help to work out what kind of environment you like to work in - alone or in a team, in an office or at home, close to home or further away, lots of tslking or very little talking. Then narrow it down by jobs that suit you rather than going after a particular job.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 24-Oct-17 23:47:38

I have a happenstance career that I love. Very well paid it is too.

Whatever job you take, when you are in it, always be looking around to see what other roles exist. There are so many jobs out there that you would never realise exist until you meet someone who does it.

Self-awareness is important too. Take on new stuff as often as feasible and pay attention to whether you liked or not, were OK/good/great at it and which specific aspects you liked/didn't like.

Be prepared to be wrong. I got my dream senior job in my mid thirties and soon discovered that I actually hated the reality of it. After I got over the shock, I used the information gleaned to make some career moves that were excellent for me.

I've made plenty of sideways moves along the way. My career evolved over many years rather than being something I plonked my arse down onto at 22. As a result, I am in a career I love that never knew existed when I was 22.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 24-Oct-17 23:50:24

My happenstance career's first step was as a result of a somewhat crap temp job I took to pay the bills after university while pondering what "proper" job I should seek.

RangeTesKopeks Wed 25-Oct-17 09:48:35

Thanks so much everyone smile

RunRabbit could I ask what line of work you're in please? Sorry - don't mean to pry though!

RangeTesKopeks Wed 25-Oct-17 18:09:57

Just bumping in case anyone else has any wisdom to add smile thanks for all of your replies so far! smile

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