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To miss the single life

(33 Posts)
grannysmiff Tue 24-Oct-17 18:45:39

Obviously i love and adore him and love being with him!

But surely i cant be the only one on here who misses the single life?

The thrill of heading out for the night not knowing who you might meet
Meals for one
Total silence
Sunday morning waking up and no discussion or pondering just do exactly as i please with no compromise or letting someone know
Making decisions without taking someone else into account
Having my space exactly as i want, no debate or compromise

Its not him and i dont want to leave him just - man the single lifehad its upsides!


Collienova Tue 24-Oct-17 18:57:49

Yep, I love my DH, but the constant negotiating and compromising can be exhausting. Or I may just be knackered with a 4 month old confused

MamaOfTwos Tue 24-Oct-17 19:15:11

I don't miss it at all, I love having someone to share my highs and lows with and someone who's there no matter what. But each to their own

spookshowbaby Tue 24-Oct-17 19:16:48

I miss it too.
Reclaiming a bit of my old life with a night away with my friend in a couple of weeks. Cannot wait !

Misspollyhadadollie Tue 24-Oct-17 19:17:19

I'm single and the opposite. Hate being alone miss a relationship the though of dating fills me with dread.

PavlovianLunge Tue 24-Oct-17 19:19:23

YANBU. I don’t want to be single, but there are times I miss the freedom (to do nothing, as much as to do anything) of being on my own.

wobblywonderwoman Tue 24-Oct-17 19:19:47

I get you op. I often do. I used to love the chase/dating scene.
DC and dh are my works but it isn't easy.

I used to have more money and fun. But I know in my heart I wouldn't go back to singleton life .

wobblywonderwoman Tue 24-Oct-17 19:20:20


Smeaton Tue 24-Oct-17 19:22:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moutonfou Tue 24-Oct-17 19:23:50

Yes definitely. But I don't want to be without him. Like you say, sometimes I just wanna do what I wanna do, watch what I wanna watch, eat what I wanna eat. The compromise gets tiring.

I'll never get fed up of cuddles though :D

DoubleNegativePanda Tue 24-Oct-17 19:27:01

YANBU. Those things are exactly why I'm quite content remaining single at this point in my life!

jessicathecat Tue 24-Oct-17 19:27:38


What if you were stuck with it

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Tue 24-Oct-17 19:29:26

YANBU, I know some couples who are blissfully happy together but for me being single is heaven!

ZepellinBend Tue 24-Oct-17 19:33:02

My single life does not consist of meals for one, total silence, deciding what to do etc <stares hard at the two young whirlwinds> grin I'm content enough with it - or too set in my ways now.

formerbabe Tue 24-Oct-17 19:36:18

I find I tend to look back and just remember the good bits!

I used to like dating, going out and getting chatted up, nights out with my friends, etc etc.

In reality, I also used to be bored out of my head on a Sunday afternoon with nothing to do, was petrified that I'd be alone forever, spend too much time wondering if he'd text me back and if not, why not?! Etc

It's easy to look back on things with rose tinted spectacles. I know I'm actually much happier now.

DoubleNegativePanda Tue 24-Oct-17 20:59:50

jessicathecat some of us aren't "stuck with it", we choose to be single as we are happier with freedom from another human's BS in our lives every single day. I'm fecking grateful I'm not stuck with another adult in the house all the time. I have plenty of adult interaction, when I want it.

ComtesseDeSpair Tue 24-Oct-17 21:07:08

I don't blame you - it's freaking amazing! I do what I want, when I want, see who I want, have sex with who I want. Everything on my terms. Silence unless I choose otherwise, no compromising, being able to make only myself happy and not feel somehow guilty for it.

Have had a couple of LTRs - good ones with good men. It wasn't for me. And more importantly, as a result, I wasn't making my partners as happy as they deserved to be.

It's unusual though: I date, and people assume I'm dating so I can find a relationship and "the one". In reality I do it because, well: meeting different and interesting people; discovering new bars; exploratory sex - what's not to like?

Whatsername17 Tue 24-Oct-17 21:22:31

I don't miss dating a d really do not think I could be added with it. But, I find the constant compromise and negotiations that come with being married to my husband utterly exhausting. He has gone to the football tonight and the kids are in bed. I've spent a blissful evening drinking wine and watching Criminal Minds whilst snuggling the cat. I miss having time for me more than anything.

Jamboree05 Tue 24-Oct-17 21:37:55

Goodness, I really do not miss being single. Having to deal with the plethora of creeps who thought you were fair game as you weren't attached.... No thank you!!!

grannysmiff Tue 24-Oct-17 21:38:14


I actually think I may not be cut out for it either. Sure, i love feeling loved and cuddles too. But i love just pleasing myself more.

Jamboree05 Tue 24-Oct-17 21:39:02

I do, however, enjoy the occasional evening when he goes away and I can watch my shit tv and get the bed to myself!!!! That is bliss!

stormnigel Wed 25-Oct-17 07:26:13

I never really had it. Was with my exh from age 19, never actually lived alone, went from parents house, to uni house share, to living with him. After we split I still had the two DD’s so never on my own really.
I do sometimes wonder if I would enjoy it and I suspect I would (but I wouldn’t swap the DD’s for the world obvs).

FlyingSoloFlyingFree Wed 25-Oct-17 07:32:02

I’m recently single and while I love all the things you’ve listed it can be lonely - I miss affection and having someone who’s ‘got my back’ as they say. Dating can be exciting but also hard work and there are a LOT of weirdos and losers around, online anyway. That said having a bed to myself and answering to nobody are brilliant, I just think there’s good and bad in either scenario.

beingsunny Wed 25-Oct-17 07:33:26

I miss being able to skip dinner and just have cheese and wine instead grin

TheNaze73 Wed 25-Oct-17 07:36:30

I think you can have the best of both worlds, if you set the bar high at the start of a relationship.

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