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To sell a bridesmaid dress?

(29 Posts)
MiniMummy576 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:02:55

Is it bad manners to sell a bridesmaid dress? I'm guessing it's a bit of a 'marmite' subject so I'm a bit hesitant to ask the bride (or ex-bride as the case may be grin). She's the type of woman so say 'no, it's fine' even if she's crying inside so I don't want to offend her if it isn't the 'done thing'. I'm just testing the waters, as it were!
The reason I want to sell it is that it's been hanging around taking up space, it's too big for me now and it's not a style I like so I'd never wear it again. Also I'm a bit short of money at the moment so I'm having a huge clear out and flogging anything that's not nailed down! (which is why I'd prefer to sell it, rather than giving it to charity)

Tiredmum100 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:11:52

I don't know. My mother in law shortened a bridesmaid dress for me so I could wear it again (I've since worn it to two more weddings as a guest). I didn't tell the bride who's wedding I was bridesmaid for, but someone posted pics on facebook so she asked me about it. She said it was fine I could do what I like with it. I just felt so guilty. I wasn't going to tell her. I don't know why I felt so guilty, just worried she'd say yes fine, but not really be fine with it too. I wasn't bothered what any of my bridesmaids did with their dresses. I've got my sisters dress in my attic as she didn't want it, my cousin wore hers again to her graduation ball. I was just pleased she liked it enough to wear it again. Sorry not much help!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Tue 24-Oct-17 16:11:56

If the bride and groom brought it I think the nicest thing to do would be to ask if they wanted it back to sell it themselves. If you brought it then of course do what ever you want with it. grin

Boysarebackintown Tue 24-Oct-17 16:12:15

Did you pay for it mini? If you did, it's yours to sell really. i would either a. Sell it and not tell her ( how would she know?)
b. suggest that it might be nice for someone else to have the pleasure of wearing it - and ask would she mind? Then sell if she is ok.

If the bride paid for it, you can ask her if she would like it and if she says no then b. above , but she should have the money - which doesn't help you out financially I realise but frees up space!

Hollyhop17 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:18:33

I dont think you sell it if the bride paid for it.

SilverSpot Tue 24-Oct-17 16:20:41

Oh, last time I was a BM we washed then bagged up the three BM dresses and took to a charity shop together. I like to think there are three identically sized BMs to the three of us wearing them :-)

Doobigetta Tue 24-Oct-17 16:21:58

If the bride paid for it, you should really offer it back to her, or check if she minds and give her the money from the sale. It would be a bit precious of her to be upset that you weren't going to treasure it forever, but it's a bit off for you to actually make a profit out of it.

BananaSandwichesEveryDay Tue 24-Oct-17 16:23:18

Like the others, I'd say it depends upon who paid. If the dress was bought by whoever paid for the wedding, I'd say it's only good manners for you to ask. If you paid for it, then it's yours to sell. I paid for my bridesmaids's dresses, but made it clear they were a gift to them and it was up to them what they did with them after the big day.

MiniMummy576 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:24:33

I have no idea whether I paid for it or not.... which is part of the issue I suppose. If I ask her it could make for an awkward conversation...

MiniMummy576 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:26:11

I know she bought the 'fur' shrug thing, but I'm keeping that. I know I paid for something, but can't remember what it was.

CandyMelts Tue 24-Oct-17 16:27:48

I wouldn't mind what my bridesmaids did with their dresses, which I obviously paid for. As long as they didn't openly tell me they burnt them as they were so hideous or something.
The only time I'd be a bit hmm is if you were the sort of person who asked me to bank transfer 58p after splitting a bill, if a normal give and take friendship then go for it.
You could always ask if they wanted the dress back, no mention of selling, just to get their thoughts on the matter

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats Tue 24-Oct-17 16:31:29

I bought my bridesmaids their dresses for the wedding, after that they can do whatever they like with them.

One of my bridesmaids has worn it a couple of times since I have seen on fb. So I'm glad she got use out it. The other two I have no idea, but I'd rather they sell it than having it hanging in a cupboard and not worn again. But I'm not very sentimental at all.

KatnissK Tue 24-Oct-17 16:33:52

I wouldn't care if my bridesmaids sold their dresses. I also wouldn't expect the money if they did sell them.

SchadenfreudePersonified Tue 24-Oct-17 16:37:18

Surely even if the bride paid for it, it was a gift?

I can't see why it would upset anyone to think that their bridesmaid had sold the dress - especially if it no longer fitted her. No-one expects anybody to frame them and put them on display or anything.

It's like any other item of clothing - if it still fits and you think you'lI wear it, you keep it - if not, it is just clutter. I wouldn't be bothered at all to think that my bridesmaid had parted with her dress for whatever reason. The memories are in your heart, and I'm sure you have photographs - you don't need to open the wardrobe every time you want a reminder.

Sell it - it is better that you, and someone else get the benefit of the dress before it becomes too old and "past-style" to wear.

SchadenfreudePersonified Tue 24-Oct-17 16:42:15

The only time I'd be a bit hmm is if you were the sort of person who asked me to bank transfer 58p after splitting a bill, if a normal give and take friendship then go for it.

Hahahaha! Definitely this!

I'm a splitter-by-numbers person as well (as long as there isn't one person ordering the lobster with truffles and a magnum of chateau lafitte '83, while everyone else is having fish finger sandwich and a can of tizer)

Inertia Tue 24-Oct-17 16:45:38

If the bride paid for it, I'd offer it back to her on the basis that it would be lovely if somebody else could use it.

If you paid for it, it's up to you, sell it if you want.

FooFighter99 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:49:27

I wouldn't give a rats ass what my bridesmaids did with their dresses!

Assuming (ex)Bride is a good friend, then surely she'll understand the need to sell the dress to get some much needed funds and she won't be in the slightest bit bothered!

Get it on Shpock! (NOT eBay as they charge a fortune in bloody fees!!!)

seven201 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:55:43

This is the reason I have a bridesmaid dress unwashed (dry clean only) in a heap at the bottom of my wardrobe. I also badly turned it up (floor length so didn’t matter I did a bad job). Think I’m going to cold wash mine then drop off at the charity shop in about 10 years.

UrsulaPandress Tue 24-Oct-17 17:06:57

The only time I've been a bridesmaid the bride asked for the dress back to sell. There was no way I was ever wearing it again.

bridgetreilly Tue 24-Oct-17 17:31:16

How long ago was the wedding? If it's been a while, you're fine, honestly. Maybe not if it was last week.

steff13 Tue 24-Oct-17 17:37:01

I can't imagine anyone would actually care. Here, it's traditional for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, but if the bride had paid, I'd consider it a gift. All of the ones I've ever had I've donated to a charity that gives low-income girls prom dresses.

MiniMummy576 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:36:00

bridgetreilly it was about.... 3 or 4 years ago (I think?)

tattychicken Wed 25-Oct-17 15:44:50

I think you would be fine to sell it, just maybe do it discreetly e.g. Not on local Facebook selling sites.

Papafran Wed 25-Oct-17 15:47:21

Of course you can! Most of the time you would never wear it again and how would the bride even know if you had sold it. Surely she doesn't expect you to dress up in it on her wedding anniversary or something?

user1493413286 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:47:27

I wouldn’t mind what my bridesmaids did with the dresses I bought, I got them for them to wear on the day and what they do with them after is their choice. I’d rather someone else get the use out of them than sit around in a wardrobe for the next however many years.

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