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Thoughts??

(3 Posts)
Makesmilingyourbesthobby Tue 24-Oct-17 00:15:25

I have a 10 week old dd, her father & me split up whilst I was pregnant, but he still said he couldn't wait for her to be born & wanted to be there for everything, (he was also still trying to get back with me I just constantly said I wasn't interested) 6 weeks before she was born I had enough & made it clear we was over & we needed to concentrate on baby, next thing I knew he had a new gf & way he was being was clear he didn't want to know baby told gf he didn't even know if baby was his, he was still messaging me he loves & that despite new gf I blocked him from everything but he still had all my family numbers if he was interested in pregnancy,
Skipping to her birth my mother messaged him that she was born to no response, some of his family (mam & two sisters) contacted me & asked to see baby, so she has her paternal nan, aunties & some cousins in her life.
Then two weeks ago my neighbour informs me her father was outside our home at 4 in the morning, crying to my neighbour how he just wants to be here with me & my girls & the baby, how he regrets getting with new gf & how losing me will always be his biggest regret etc, I will never want him back as he let me down very badly when we was together he knows this & I have told him I can't get passed it but I hoped he had regretted not being there for baby & contacted him by message asking was he interested in daughter at all, to which he never responded his gf responded telling me to leave them alone they very happy he isn't interested I should move on & find someone else & leave them live they lives, to which I replied I am happy as I am thanks I was trying to find out if my daughters father is at all interested in her life & that he can't be that happy crying outside mine at four in morning & hes the one who needs to move on & blocked her,
I could be totally wrong here but I don't think hes what you would call the average deadbeat dad I think his self esteem is at rock bottom & he can see the mess he has made for himself & he hasn't got the guts to get back out of it eg face me, my family his family for what he's done & said about our baby,
Is there anything more I could do to show him the longer he's outta of his daughter life the harder it will get or anything I can do to make it easier for him to approuch me about baby, yes I know he's let me & baby down badly but at the end of the day I know him & he's my babies dad & I know he regrets all he's done to her & yes I know I should leave him to get a spine & get himself outta the hole his in but for my child I will do what I can for her sake not his tia

Protectingmydaughterfromfilth Tue 24-Oct-17 00:59:45

I could have literally have written this - word for word! Same situation. To the word!

Does he use email at all? Go to TalkingParents.com, register and input his email address and it will send him an invite to join so you can message each other privately.

However, I have recently, finally, after 3 years, realised that if my DDs Dad REALLY loved his DD, he’d be unable to be away from her. I’ve ignored people telling me this but it really is true! He sounds more interested in YOU than baby. And that is NOT father material. You’re doing what I always do - holding onto hope and making excuses for him....

If he wanted to, if he loved his dd then he’d walk miles in the rain to see her.

He doesn’t......

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 24-Oct-17 03:26:29

Let him go.
I mean this wholeheartedly when I say "it's his loss".

He'll get his new gf pregnant and leave her, too.

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