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Aibu to buy DNiece a crappy Christmas present?

(127 Posts)
whateveryousay Mon 23-Oct-17 20:01:40

Background story. I have 4 DC, all over the age of 10, 2 are adults. SIL and BIL have only just had their first DC, so this will be their first Christmas.

For previous Christmasses, SIL has bought me and my DH, and my kids absolute tat. To the point where we open our presents, and have a little private competition about who can feign the most delight over what is basically crap. Now, I am fully aware I must sound very grabby at this point, but for context, she bought my 18 year old son a plastic egg cup from a charity shop last year. Random, and can’t have cost more than 50p. These people are not loaded, but are by no means poor. I genuinely believe she has bought me and my kids the bare minimum she thought she could get away with, in order to have something to wrap.

I have previously bought SIL and BIL nice gifts, I’ve set my own standards, if you like.

However, now they have DC too. I just can’t bring myself to buy a decent gift, and have my kids watch DN unwrap something great, while they get the usual tat. Just seems very unfair. DH thinks I should continue taking the moral high ground, and get something decent for DNiece, but I just don’t want to!

AIBU?

trinity0097 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:05:06

Do you still have the gifts ? Could you regift?

Miloarmadillo1 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:06:50

It's not DNiece's fault. Buy her something nice, and tat for SIL and BIL if you must.

sunandmoonshine Mon 23-Oct-17 20:06:55

DNiece? confused You mean 'niece?'

Yeah why not? Just get her something from poundland!

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox Mon 23-Oct-17 20:09:29

Yes it sounds a bit mean but I can see where you're coming from. DN is a fairly NB then? In that case use this time (when she won't know any different) to get your own back on SIL! I assume you've thrown the previous tat away, it would have been the perfect opportunity to give it back. You could have told her it was a present from her if she complained!

Once DN is older though I'd be buying proper gifts.

Jogel Mon 23-Oct-17 20:10:11

It's your niece's first Christmas and you can't bring yourself to buy a decent gift?
Sounds mean and nasty to me.

talulahbelle Mon 23-Oct-17 20:10:35

Poundland bubbles? I feel your pain, my SIL buys us charity presents and a £5 box of chocolate, while we spend £££ on their amazon wish list. Or did anyway, we’ve agreed not to do gifts this year.

NataliaOsipova Mon 23-Oct-17 20:10:43

But something small but tasteful- e.g. a hat/a book/a small soft toy. If it's ever raised, you then have the high ground of "I know SIL only likes to do token presents and I respect that"....and you don't have to suck up spending loads of money!

SaucyJack Mon 23-Oct-17 20:10:44

Surely there's a happy medium?

Just buy a baby book for three quid from Asda.

NataliaOsipova Mon 23-Oct-17 20:11:00

Buy, not but! Sorry!

Hassled Mon 23-Oct-17 20:11:36

It seems unfair to punish the niece for her parent's crimes. Buy them some shite from Poundland, and get her a wonderful, thoughtful present which will last for years and then you can feel smug for years. And every time niece plays with wonderful thoughtful gift, SIL will remember the plastic shite from Poundland and think about karma.

Ameliablue Mon 23-Oct-17 20:12:11

Why punish your niece, it's not her fault.

whateveryousay Mon 23-Oct-17 20:12:41

So presumably you think it’s mean and nasty SIL buting crap for my kids?

As Bunny said, yes, I suppose I do want to get back at SIL. Why not? People being ‘mean and nasty’ to my kids pisses me right off.

Friendofsadgirl Mon 23-Oct-17 20:13:14

My DC get some terrible gifts from the in-laws, my DM thinks I should reciprocate in kind but I just can't do it.
DC have learned that you don't give to receive and you set your own standards.

MinervaSaidThar Mon 23-Oct-17 20:14:23

Buy her tat. She is a baby and won't notice, but SIL and BIL will reap what they gave sown.

Fuck the moral highground in this situation.

whateveryousay Mon 23-Oct-17 20:15:05

At the end of the day though, I probably will get something decent. Just the unfairness of it all getting to me!

WhatwouldAryado Mon 23-Oct-17 20:17:14

I'd be giving the tat to SIL/ brother (who buys the gifts, and why? Do the resent buying or having the job fall to them?). Niece should have what you would usually buy for a child of that connection to you.

Rheged Mon 23-Oct-17 20:17:42

Rise above it but don’t spend £££. A decent board book would set you back less than a fiver.

Bippitybopityboo Mon 23-Oct-17 20:19:19

I think your niece may like a plastic charity shop egg cup? grin
I'd get her something nice but cheap as previous posters have said it's not her fault your DCS have endured years of crap gifts. I'd say a little book is fine. Be the bigger person.

Butterymuffin Mon 23-Oct-17 20:19:36

I'd buy tat, yes. In fact small kids like tat so your niece won't mind (and is too young to know anyway yet). It's the parents who want expensive/tasteful. Serve their own dish back to them!

TefalTester123 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:19:46

Use an alternative tack and buy something loud with no off button this year, perhaps something very messy that sheds glitter everywhere next year, something that will scratch the furniture the year after etc etc.

NikiBabe Mon 23-Oct-17 20:21:23

Have you thought of saying something?

When the subject of gifts comes up Id say you bought my 18 yo a cheap plastic egg cup last year, Id rather we not be given anything and dispense with gifts entirely this year.

whateveryousay Mon 23-Oct-17 20:21:34

Yes! A nice, loud plastic gift sounds perfect!

Mivery Mon 23-Oct-17 20:21:39

If DN is still a baby, I think I'd have to do it at least once to stick it to her mother haha.

ny20005 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:23:20

My dsil has form for returning presents or donating to charity shop (near where we stay, not her)

I always bought personalised items that she couldn’t return or donate. We’ve been nc for years so no gifts now lol

I’d buy something nice but small & inexpensive. Nice hat or book. Token gift x

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