There’s a very long backstory but in a nutshell my sister and I have never gotten on. I can no longer bear her.
When my DD was born things got so
much worse and my sister along with my controlling parents were horrible to me. My DD also had life saving surgery at a couple of weeks old and they all made a stressful situation so much worse. Calling me, shouting down the phone at me because I didn’t want them to visit, I too had just been through surgery. Childish text messages from them. I can’t look at any of them the same, I just feel so bitter.
My sister met DD once and I decided I wouldn’t make any effort to see her after that.
Next month is my DDs first birthday and we’re doing a small gathering for our nearest and dearest. My parents are all about keeping up appearances and have told me that she HAS to be there otherwise the family will ask why. The family know we’ve never gotten on but for some reason my parents bullshit and won’t tell them that we actually don’t speak anymore.
I know that if I don’t give an invite to my sister I’ll get weeks of phone calls, “you’re making me ill with stress” comments, Dad pretending he’s short of breath on the phone and saying his chest hurts so that I usually give in because I can’t be arsed with the drama.
If I send the invite she won’t come anyway, it’s just a weird power thing on my parents part. But I absolutely do not want to even invite her, I want to celebrate my DDs first year properly, especially as things were so stressful at the start.
AIBU in not sending the bloody invite?
AIBU?
To not invite my sister?
bluebellhills · 23/10/2017 19:52
Well you owe it your parents to fall in with all their wants and whims because they gave you life and spent a lot of time money and effort bringing you up. Not because they loved and wanted you or anything. 
(sarcastic face)
Or you could realise you don't owe them your life and ditch them and your sister. They sound like such fun to be around.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don't invite her. And if your parents kick off tell them they're not welcome either.
This should be a happy time. Surround yourself with people who will be happy for you.
Hope you and your little one are well 
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What family would be invited if you didn’t invite parents and sister?
Can’t you just make the party for your friends, say you’re meeting with close family on the birthday or for a meal out —and then forget to organise it—
I left the country to avoid shit like this. I realise it’s quite a drastic step, but it is rather peaceful 
Parents can kid themselves that sister and I don’t speak because we’re in different countries, they’re close enough to run around after her every whim and bask in the sun shining out of her arse, and I’m far enough away that they can forget about me except when they want to broadcast to their friends what great grandparents they are because they’re off to visit the grandchildren —who they ignore when they get here—
I don’t organise family birthday parties (although we will meet IL’s for a meal) and we celebrate Christmas alone as just DH, me and DC. The first year I was on tenterhooks, waiting for the inevitable explosion but it was worth it. So much more peaceful and hassle free.
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