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Is this creepy or at least unusual behaviour or am I (and my sister) being paranoid?

(81 Posts)
questionzzz Mon 23-Oct-17 19:46:46

I need to know, because I tend towards anxious feelings about losing my kids, also I am single mom living in a new community where we are just making friends.

Yesterday, DS (11 soon 12) and I went to a local large swimming pool.
Being a chilly Sunday afternoon, it was fairly crowded. The pool has waterslides, which whoosh out into a kind of water lane.

So DS was up on the water slide, and I was kinda waiting by the lane when he got down, to tell him I was going to be in the steam room or something. As I was waiting, I noticed and made brief eye contact with some random large bloke whom I didn't know. Not a lifeguard(not wearing the standard red swimwear). I wasn't quite sure how long DS would be coming down, as there tended to be a bit of line up, and I went to get a drink from the fountain a little way away from the water slide. As I made my way back, I noticed DS sitting in the water lane, and the bloke bent over him, talking to him and pointing over at me. DS got out and kinda nodded and walked over to me and then ran over to the main pool. The end.

Later, I remembered and asked DS what the guy had told him. He said something like "He asked if I was having fun, and if I'm looking for my mom, she's over there".

Further note: DS hadn't asked him if he'd seen his mom. Neither of us knew this guy or had seen him before that.

I mildly freaked out because, a/ Why would he know I was his mom? b/ Hasn't he received the memo about strange men not talking to kids they have no business talking to? c/ Just why?

Later I mentioned this to my sister, who is my closest family member these days, and she, who also knows about my anxieties re the kids, said, half-jokingly, "he was probably casing the joint- testing to see DS was alone or not, to see if his mom really was around."

Not helpful, sister.

Anyway, it's not a big deal, but it's things like this which sometimes makes me feel I cannot take my eyes off them. Also watching SVU doesn't help.

CocoPuffsinGodMode Mon 23-Oct-17 19:51:03

I think he could just as easily have been a dad there with his own children to be honest. I know it’s important to be vigilant but I wouldn’t be overly concerned about this based on what you’ve outlined.

MissConductUS Mon 23-Oct-17 19:52:10

He probably noticed you and DS approaching the water slide together or saw you watching him in line. It is a bit creepy, but I think it's just as likely that he fancies meeting you as any other possibility.

flumpybear Mon 23-Oct-17 19:52:15

You could always email the manager with time, date, what your son and this bloke looked like in case they have CCTV and can track his movements at the pool - probably nothing but I’d be a bit hmm too

AlternativeTentacle Mon 23-Oct-17 19:53:22

'man points out mother to boy'

seriously, men just cant win can they?

Efferlunt Mon 23-Oct-17 19:54:08

Seriously you need to chill out! As you were waiting at the bottom it was pretty reasonable to assume next child down was yours. Poor bloke was trying to be helpful.

Why would you assume he was some sort of threat from this situation?

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:55:42


Track his movements for what?

Honestly OP if it was a lady who had done it would you have been anxious or bothered?

Hassled Mon 23-Oct-17 19:57:04

He probably saw you earlier in the pool with your DS, which is why he knew what your DS's mum looked like. For whatever reason (he fancied you? You look just like his sister?) he clocked you and registered who you were with. I do that in pools all the time - I'd register that the cute little girl in the red swimsuit is with the big beardy man, etc. Then, because he's probably a perfectly nice guy, he saw your DS alone and pointed you out to him in a bid to be helpful.
The reality is you'll never know, but you're safe and DS is safe and nothing bad happened.

FluttershysCutieMark Mon 23-Oct-17 19:57:34

Yay I can be the first to say- would you have as worried if it was a large woman?

Bambamber Mon 23-Oct-17 19:57:44

If a woman had pointed out where you were to your child would you have been so concerned?

Rheged Mon 23-Oct-17 19:58:00

It’s far more likely he was there with his own kids. If a woman had done this would you have given it a second thought? Nothing in your OP rings alarm bells.

FluttershysCutieMark Mon 23-Oct-17 19:58:17

Damn you Kungfu grin

questionzzz Mon 23-Oct-17 19:58:43

"seriously, men just cant win can they?"

Hmmm, yes, the decks seem really stacked against them, poor fellas. I wonder why that is? Anything in the news, any statistics? Nothing?

Seriously though, I was thinking,would I have been creeped out if it had been a random woman? tbh, I think I would have been a bit surprised, or I might have smiled and nodded at the woman I suppose, if she was nice-looking and was smiling also, but yeah, maybe not so "creeped" out.

Migraleve Mon 23-Oct-17 19:59:06

Fucking hell, really?

headinhands Mon 23-Oct-17 20:01:14


StickThatInYourPipe Mon 23-Oct-17 20:01:30

I would be maybe have been a tad concerned if he had said something like 'where's your mum?' Or something but the fact he was pointing at you and saying 'she's over there' he was probably just trying to be kind. Maybe he thought your ds was looking around for you (when most likely he was staring about wondering which slide to go down next)

questionzzz Mon 23-Oct-17 20:02:03

if it had been a large bearded woman... grin

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:03:08

What statistics?
Havent seen any in regards to large men pointing at childrens mothers at the swimming pools.

PolaDeVeboise Mon 23-Oct-17 20:05:00

FFS. That is all.

orangeowls Mon 23-Oct-17 20:05:24

Kungfu 😂

Crumbs1 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:06:00

Have we really reached a point where an adult can’t speak pleasantly to an unfamiliar child in a public place?

Assburgers Mon 23-Oct-17 20:06:02

Sounds like he did nothing wrong.

CheshireChat Mon 23-Oct-17 20:07:00

Seeing he pointed out where you were, I doubt he had any malicious intent.

More likely he saw your DS looking around and thought he could help.

BertrandRussell Mon 23-Oct-17 20:08:05

Can you show the statistics for children snatched from public swimming pools by strangers?

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds Mon 23-Oct-17 20:08:17

Poor bloke.

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