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AIBU to think I deserve more respect

(14 Posts)
laura6032 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:42:17

I am a stay home mum to a 4 year ds. I didn't go back to work after having him. With no family support we were both in agreement.
I've just been told by other half that I do nothing, I've had it easy for years, I know nothing, all I do is spend money that I don't earn, I'm lazy and I'll know all about it.

I do all the cleaning, cooking shopping, washing, ironing, walking to nursery, parks football, libraries, and so on, looking after 2 cats as well, not to mention the running back n forth to the care home every other day to see my mum with dementia (which is hard as she was diagnosed just before I had the baby, and dipped really fast) . I done all the feeding (breastfeeding till he was 2), most nappies, sickness, he literally does nothing in the house.

We always split chores about 50/50 before baby, we both worked full time. I am so pissed at this man I could tell him to leave.

RhinoGirl Mon 23-Oct-17 19:44:56

You do deserve more respect than that, I would be telling him it’s about time he respects you or your relationship is over.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:50:22

But you do earn the money though. It's family money that your husband was able to earn because you're a sahm. Why can't some men see that?!?!

LightDrizzle Mon 23-Oct-17 19:53:18

Tell him that when you go back to work, you expect to work as hard as he does now, so you’ll both have to fork out for cleaning, ironing, a housekeeper who cooks etc. Tot up costs for a maternity nurse for 6 months followed by nursery costs for two children up to school age and show him.
Tell him to book a week’s holiday and spend s week at home doing nothing with the kids, keeoing to your standards and timetable while you fuck of to try doing nothing somewhere sunny for a change.
Or just tell him to fuck off.

LightDrizzle Mon 23-Oct-17 19:54:30

Sorry for the typos, blinded by rage.

thecanaries Mon 23-Oct-17 20:07:20

Wow what an arsehole.

I'd go on strike for a month and he can see for himself (not for DS just him and house standards )

laura6032 Mon 23-Oct-17 21:27:05

All great thoughts guys, thank you leaning to the fuck off right now lol xx

WhatWouldGenghisDo Mon 23-Oct-17 21:34:24

Tell him he does nothing, he's had it easy for years, he's lazy, you're sick of subsidising his lifestyle working all the hours God sends.

Then figure out what he'd have had to pay to hire people to do what you've done for the past four years, and bill him.

angry

Bluntness100 Mon 23-Oct-17 21:39:35

Your kid must be due to start school in the summer, so you will be applying to get back into work and get some independence back. Work out how to deal with any wrap around care requirements and sit down and deal with the financial planning as well as home management,

Your husband clearly resents paying for you to be at home, but as your child will go to school shortly you’re at the end, and the both of you can work out a plan for the future.

I don’t think this is marriage ending, more resentment on both sides, so I guess you want to fix it rather than end your marriage?

Bluntness100 Mon 23-Oct-17 21:43:11

Then figure out what he'd have had to pay to hire people to do what you've done for the past four years, and bill him

Well it’s her kid too and she’s does have a parental responsibility. But I get your point that they may have not been able to afford child care iff she was working,

StealthPolarBear Mon 23-Oct-17 21:45:54

Yes Bill him half not the full amount

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo Mon 23-Oct-17 22:06:10

flowers because your mum is in a home, and has dementia. That's tough on its own, without looking after a baby/toddler as well.

honeylulu Mon 23-Oct-17 22:14:42

I presume he agreed that you caring for your son and the home was the best choice. Now he decides you are lazy for doing so because you don't earn money. Yes he is disrespectful, rude and unkind. If he wants the status quo to change again, that is no way to broach the matter.

laura6032 Tue 24-Oct-17 07:54:02

Yes we both agreed, if I went back to work full time ds would be in child care from 8-6 we both hated the thought of that, we'd never see him, and part time there was no point if I had family to look after him for free then great, but we don't, so we both agreed.
I agree I going he's resenting it now for some reason, it's not like I do nothing, I do everything in the house I ask him to do nothing. And I'll be going to work next year as pps have said.
Thanks for all your support guys xx

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