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**Trigger Warning - sensitive subject Title edited by MNHQ** I am absolutely heartbroken and I need to know I'm not being unreasonable to end a friendship *Very sensitive subject*

(360 Posts)
PhDPepper Mon 23-Oct-17 19:04:10

I had a molar pregnancy this year and it was fucking awful. I’ve seen a ‘friend’ today in the street and she completely blanked me. I messaged her when I got home and asked what was wrong.

And I got back a tirade of abuse about how I’d had an abortion and killed my baby and that if I never got pregnant again it would be karma.

I did have a D&C to remove the molar pregnancy but it wasn’t a baby, it was a complete molar pregnancy with no genetic tissue. It fucking broke me to have that operation but I’ve never considered it to be an abortion.

I have not replied as it’s totally flawed me, but I need to know im not being unreasonable to tell her to go fuck herself

Alittlepotofrosie Mon 23-Oct-17 19:06:22

No do it. Shes no friend of yours. Even if it was an abortion its none of her damn business.

kali110 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:06:27

No yanbu at all.
Im so sorry, this is no friend.
Even if you had had an abortion no real friend would say this too you!
Im afraid id screw the upper hand and tell her to go fuck herself.

HeyRoly Mon 23-Oct-17 19:06:45

She is very, very, very stupid. But hey, she's done you a favour, and now you can carry on with your life minus a shit friend.

And besides, even if you'd terminated a normal pregnancy, that too would have been none of her fucking business.

velocitygir1 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:07:12

She is an absolute twat and has no idea what she’s going on about. I would cut all ties forthwith!

She sounds like she has other issues-does she have fertility problems at all?

It wasn’t a baby but maybe she doesn’t understand that? Have you been able to explain? Not that you should have to anyway.

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 23-Oct-17 19:07:42

How dare she? I'd be furious and that would be the end of the friendship for me.

PhDPepper Mon 23-Oct-17 19:08:39

I’m so sorry I’ve asked mumsnet to edit the title to say sensitve subject

EmmaGrundyForPM Mon 23-Oct-17 19:08:55

I am so sorry for your lossflowers

This woman is no friend of yours. Ignore her. Your true friends will support you

HoneyBadgerApparently Mon 23-Oct-17 19:10:33

YANBU at all!

I'm so sorry this has happened (both molar pregnancy and friend). A real friend would be supporting you through the loss of the pregnancy not judging you based on ignorance!

Tell her to google it and never contact you again.

Smeaton Mon 23-Oct-17 19:10:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tilapia Mon 23-Oct-17 19:10:45

YANBU. Sorry for your loss flowers

Your friend is a twat. And she would still be massively out of order even if you had had an abortion.

formerbabe Mon 23-Oct-17 19:10:54

Wow, just wow.

She sounds callous and cruel at worst and ignorant at best.

Either way...don't waste any time or head space on her.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme Mon 23-Oct-17 19:10:58

I would message her and tell her that you didn't have an abortion - there never was a baby as that it was a molar pregnancy.

Then add that she's shown herself to be an absolutely disgusting person and to never contact you again.

PhDPepper Mon 23-Oct-17 19:11:08

She’s got a baby. Think it might have taken a while to conceive. I think I might just block her and leave it at that

GeillisTheWitch Mon 23-Oct-17 19:11:32

Your former friend is a thick, judgemental knobhead.

SenoritaViva Mon 23-Oct-17 19:11:56

What an awful woman. Definitely cut her out. How on earth can she talk about Karma?

Namechangetempissue Mon 23-Oct-17 19:14:57

She obviously has no idea what a molar pregnancy is -or is just a cruel bitch.
I'm so sorry OP flowers. It must be incredibly painful and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.

mineofuselessinformation Mon 23-Oct-17 19:15:07

Not much of a 'friend' is she?
That's the last thing you need, some judgemental twat who thinks she knows what you've been through, when she clearly doesn't have a clue.
Cut her off - there are much better people out there.

Ummmmgogo Mon 23-Oct-17 19:15:34

I don't know what a molar pregnancy is, but she sounds like an absolute arsehole and your life will be better without her in it.

PhDPepper Mon 23-Oct-17 19:16:07

Is it too early for winegin? I want to write back but it’s over, I know that.

Wightintheghoulies Mon 23-Oct-17 19:17:34

I'd tell her to educate herself then block her. Stupid woman, in every sense of the word. Not that she would have any reason to be so nasty to someone who has had a termination, none of her business to judge! You know now how horrible a person she is, though one less friend in such a difficult time must be tough. I'm sorry for what you're going through, please be kind to yourself and don't give her another second of your thoughts.

PhDPepper Mon 23-Oct-17 19:18:38

@Ummmmgogo a complete molar pregnancy is where an egg with no dna is fertilised and grows like a cancer. It looks like snow on the 12 week scan, hcg of over 1million and awful symptoms.

A partial molar pregnancy is where 1 egg is fertilised by 2 sperm so it can be the placenta that grows like a cancer

BatBelle Mon 23-Oct-17 19:19:36

I’d tell her to google what a molar pregnancy is, then go fuck herself, then I’d block the bitch

flowers for you

MrsEight Mon 23-Oct-17 19:20:32

She is very, very, very stupid. But hey, she's done you a favour, and now you can carry on with your life minus a shit friend


HotelEuphoria Mon 23-Oct-17 19:20:52

I would still send her a message saying "have you any fucking idea what a molar pregnancy is?" Then block her.

She is a bloody idiot.

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