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To leave 19 month old for a week

(25 Posts)
Flowerbot Mon 23-Oct-17 18:53:59

I’m a single parent with a small toddler dd. I’ve got a big birthday coming up soon and my mum has very kindly offered to pay for me and a friend to go on holiday abroad for a week (probably Spain). I have the option of bringing dd or leaving her with my mum (she doesn’t see her dad). She’ll be 20 months old by the time of the holiday.

Dd is a confident girl who has never suffered from separation anxiety and she happily goes to a childminder a couple of long days a week. I’ve not left her overnight before but am planning two days away soon so will be able to see how that goes. Is a whole week away a lot different though?

Is she too young for that much time away from me? I know I’d miss her a lot. However my life is a bit relentless as when I’m not looking after her I’m at work, and the thought of being able to have a few drinks and stay out late is extremely tempting!

I also did a few days away with friends recently, with dd, and while it was nice to see my friends the experience was exhausting and being unable to join in some activities due to naps etc. and not being able to relax in the evening due to her waking up a lot was a bit disappointing.

What should I do?

Palegreenstars Mon 23-Oct-17 18:56:26

Do it. She will have a lovely adventure with her gran and you will feel refreshed.

Bananamama1213 Mon 23-Oct-17 18:58:14

I am one of those parents who haven’t left their children many times at all.. my DD who is 4 has stayed out 3 times in her life. All at my mums house.

If your DD would be happy to stay at your mums, then do it.

You’re a single parent, your DD doesn’t see her dad.. you deserve a break. Especially if it’s to Spain!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Mon 23-Oct-17 18:58:30

We left DS with my parents at 14 months for our honeymoon. He was fine.

Bananamama1213 Mon 23-Oct-17 18:59:28

I meant that in a way that, I don’t leave my children because I don’t want to. I’m not a holiday person at all, so I don’t really have any need to leave them.

But even being a person like that, I still think you should go!

passthenutella Mon 23-Oct-17 19:00:36

I say go for it. You deserve a break and Dd will love being spoiled by your mum.
Also your mum sounds fab smile

DoggyMadMum Mon 23-Oct-17 19:00:53

Do it!

Rachie1973 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:02:11

Do it, have an amazing time and close the thread now lol

Don't come back!

Sooner or later the perfect parent brigade will appear lol

FoxesSitOnBoxes Mon 23-Oct-17 19:04:30

I didn’t leave mine until they were older than that but that was 100% due to my issues and not theirs. If you’re happy then definitely go and have a great time!

BlueSapp Mon 23-Oct-17 19:05:14

I’m sure she’ll be absolutely fine getting spoilt with granny and loving it. Go and really enjoy yourself being a mum is not easy but being a single mum is relentless so take full advantage of a relaxing break

Flowerbot Mon 23-Oct-17 19:06:35

grin oh that’s good to hear! I think, although of course I don’t know for sure, that she’ll be ok. and I know it does depend on the child, if she was a very clingy sensitive type then I wouldn’t leave her but she’s completely unbothered when I leave her with the childminder or with my mum on the odd occasion she babysits.

Flowerbot Mon 23-Oct-17 19:08:44

Do they have any concept of time at that age do you know? So if she’s fine after ten hours away from me, (which happens twice a week) does that make it likely that a longer period of time will also be fine?

ChildFreeWeek Mon 23-Oct-17 19:37:34

Dd 21mnths is 24hrs in to a week staying at GPs. She wasn't even interested in speaking to us on the phone today, too busy colouring with GD and watching cbeebies. I think she'll be ok. She is a very friendly and extroverted child. I'm more worried about my parents as she's into everything and doesn't stop. grin

SenoritaViva Mon 23-Oct-17 19:40:04

Go for it. You're a single mum, a week to revitalise yourself and have adult time will be great for you!

MaryShelley1818 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:43:56

Definitely go and enjoy yourself-I bet your DD has a lovely time with your mum.
I'll be leaving my 5mth old (due 1st Dec) for 4days in May to go and celebrate my big Birthday with friends in Spain.

Flowerbot Mon 23-Oct-17 20:51:17

Ahh thanks everyone! I’m going to go without her (as long as the trial run goes ok) - pretty sure my mum will need a holiday herself by the time I get back though grin

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 Mon 23-Oct-17 20:53:00

Definitely do it. She'll be fine and it'll be good for you...and therefore her

SenoritaViva Mon 23-Oct-17 21:13:07

Glad you've made that decision. A recharge will be good for you both!

upaladderagain Mon 23-Oct-17 21:18:12

Don’t do it! Dd will have a great time with granny, but your poor mum will be on her knees (just finished day 3 of 4 looking after 12-month old dgd and feeling 103).

Flowerbot Mon 23-Oct-17 21:56:07

upaladderagain grinflowers

SpiritedLondon Mon 23-Oct-17 22:07:18

I don't disagree with anything posted other than I think a week is quite a long time.... I would be more comfortable with 4 days but that's me judging it by how I would feel.

NameChange30 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:09:29

YANBU!
I think it's wise to do a shorter trial run first (maybe 2-3 days?) but providing that goes ok, go for it!

OneBiscuitAtATime Mon 23-Oct-17 22:14:44

I left my DS for 18 month old for three nights. Turns out I was a mess, he had fun with his Dad and wasn't bothered.

36plusandtrying Mon 23-Oct-17 22:30:50

DD will have fun with gran and a much needed will be had by you ! Enjoy OP and happy birthday smile

36plusandtrying Mon 23-Oct-17 22:31:12

*rest ! Sorry for the typo

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