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To think my daughters friendship is toxic

(3 Posts)
Freddiesfling Mon 23-Oct-17 18:03:08

My daughter is 10.
One of my closest friends had her daughter 3 weeks after I had her, therefore by proxy the children have known each other all their lives and attended the same nursery and school- they also have a lot of friends in common.
Both children are sporty and fairy academic and used to be very close friends.
Recently my friend moved to the other end of town ( a 15 min walk away) and therefore the girls see a lot less of each other now which I think is more healthy due to a lot of underlying tensions between them however my daughter is still set on pursuing a close friendship with this girl.
However my friends daughter has recently done all she can to belittle my daughter... examples are telling other friends that she still wets the bed (she doesn't) telling teachers that she has copied her work (their work was on different topics at the time) accusing her of hiding their friends things at a recent sleepover ( it was actually my friends daughter) and deleting all my daughters characters on a computer game ( sorry sounds petty but my daughter was very upset over this)
Also she never answers my daughters calls or texts unless she has no one else to play with.
I am not saying my daughter is perfect and with 5 kids I don't see her through rose tinted specs at all but she is so dead set on remaning friends with this girl but clearly my friends daughter wants to move on ( when it suits her)
My question is how involved do I need to be? Do I let my daughter make her own choices/ mistakes or do I try to help this friendship come to its natural end.
My and my friend are still fairly close despite the differences between our children.

MrsDustyBusty Mon 23-Oct-17 18:07:50

I think you need to take your daughter's lead. If she wants to maintain this friendship at some level, you probably can't stop her.

I think I'd be role playing handling difficult situations, discussing good relationships and what you should be expected ting to give and take, reciprocity, that kind of thing and overall helping her to decide that it's not working for her.

TalkinBoutWhat Mon 23-Oct-17 18:26:09

Hmm, I would be stepping in.

My DS is 10, and I point out when someone is being mean to them then they are NOT being a friend to them.

Your DD need some help in having better boundaries.

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