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DH should plan some meals? It's not that hard

(141 Posts)
Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:32:18

I'm currently on maternity leave and often i'm not hungry in the evening...as I have made umpteen sumptuous dishes to delight DD (14 months) which she doesn't eat so I scoff.

After settling her this evening (which I do every evening as she loves breastfeeding to sleep) I emerge from the bedroom at 7pm to hangry DH. We end up making pizzas and he complains that he wishes I planned our evening meals... and possibly cooked them.

I already do the shopping, plan all of DDs meals and cook them. He knows where the kitchen is so AIBU to think plan your own meals DH, or am I just being lazy? He seems to go through fads of gluten free/no nightshades (which don't apply if he wants KFC for lunch etc). We could be more organised but I don't really want this to become another one of my tasks as I happen to have the ovaries in the relationship.

araiwa Mon 23-Oct-17 13:34:36

You do all the shopping but only buy food that you and dd eat?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Mon 23-Oct-17 13:35:49

Lazy git! Tell him to cook his own tea.

Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:37:50

I buy all the food for the household but I don't plan specifically what we'll cook each night. There are usually ingredients to make a meal but apparently if I don't explicitly state what meal it is , how to make it and what day to consume it on then it's too hard for DH

Shoxfordian Mon 23-Oct-17 13:39:12

How did he cope before you lived together?!

gunsandbanjos Mon 23-Oct-17 13:40:29

How do you know what to buy if you don’t know what you’re making?
Do you just buy a random selection and hope for the best?

Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:41:00

He chicken and salad, we have chicken and salad!

sirfredfredgeorge Mon 23-Oct-17 13:41:18

So you're cooking umpteen scrumptious meals for two members of the family, yet somehow don't cook anything for the third? Why not just cook one scrumptious meal, for all of you?

Yes he could plan and cook his own, but given you are planning and cooking meals, not including him in them isn't very family-like.

gunsandbanjos Mon 23-Oct-17 13:43:24

I love cooking for my partner. Maybe because he’s very appreciative and definitely takes his turn.

SometimesMaybe Mon 23-Oct-17 13:43:52

Given that you are at home and therefore with more opportunity to go to the shops I think you should do the shopping but perhaps on a Sunday sit down and ask what he wants for the week, you then buy it, he then cooks it.
Or you and DC eat earlier and you make enough for him and he reheats when he gets in.

pigsknickers Mon 23-Oct-17 13:44:39

No meal planning in our house, we just buy the sort of stuff we usually have in and then make what we fancy out of it (note "we"). OP yanbu but some people are really unconfident in the kitchen and need a script to work from.

Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:44:48

I usually get in staples for dishes we like e.g stir fry, saag paneer, pizza, but things I used to make and have in the freezer DH can't eat e.g spag Bol, curry. I just don't have the motivation to think of other things he might like instead

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 23-Oct-17 13:47:54

Unless we have planned to eat together it's expected that whoever is free sorts themselves out in our house*. Sometimes that means going shopping shock

Unless there's something physically or mentally wrong with him so that he can't feed himself and you've agreed to take on that caring responsibility for him yanbu.

You've fed the dc and done bedtime so they very least he could do is look after himself.

*sometimes dh has toast for dinner. Like he did before we were together. He's still alive.

Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:49:18

I doubt he wants the tiny and varied things I try to expose DD to in the hope she'll eat. 3 sugar snap peas, a half a corn on the cob, hummus, yoghurt, broccoli, a strawberry etc anyone? It gets quite filling over a day but I don't think DH wants it for dinner

MrsBartlettforthewin Mon 23-Oct-17 13:52:31

Get him to do a meal plan for the week of what he wants then build your shopping list on that. Then he can cook what he planned.

Justanothernameonthepage Mon 23-Oct-17 13:53:41

Tell him you agree that meals should be planned. Either he plans and presents you with a list for when you do the shop, or you alternate weeks where you each plan, shop and cook for the household. Ask which he'd prefer.

5foot5 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:54:30

Personally I would find it hard to shop without having planned the meals. It is just the way we have always done it. I/we plan a whole weeks of meals and write them down then shop accordingly. The weeks meal plan is in the kitchen for everyone to see so whoever gets back first can consult the plan and start to cook.

Mind you I would find it hard to live with someone as faddy as your DH. What is a nightshade when it is at home?

SpinnerDryer Mon 23-Oct-17 13:55:17

Get the Jamie Oliver 5 Ingredient Cookbook.

Im not Jules

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 23-Oct-17 13:56:14

We don't bother with meal plans either. We might have a conversation about what to cook.

I might occasionally say "ffs dh can you read the dates and use the old stuff up first?" when he's fed the kids pizzas with a week to run but not the leftover shepherds pie that anyone with eyes can see needs eating but that's about it.

Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:58:32

I think I'll just take my usual 'wtf is wrong with you, you're a grown man' approach. He can plan what he wants, I'll buy the ingredients. It just pisses me off that apparently it isn't possible to cook yourself dinner when you're hungry and have a fridge full of food without your wife directing you to do so.

Laserbird16 Mon 23-Oct-17 14:00:50

Nightshades are potatoes, tomatoes, chillies, peppers. They do aggravate his eczema but he'll sometimes take the itchiness for the hit of hot chips and tomato sauce

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 23-Oct-17 14:02:10

Sounds hard work.

Let him make his own damn dinner smile

jarhead123 Mon 23-Oct-17 14:02:24

YABU in my opinion.

He has been at work all day. You do the food shop, surely you can make a loose plan of what meals you'll have/shop for. If you're cooking for your daughter, can't you cook for the both of you too?

I'm confused why you're being difficult about this tbh

Santawontbelong Mon 23-Oct-17 14:03:11

We take turns. One week he plans and shops. Next week I do. He cooks during the week and I do week ends!!

PurpleMinionMummy Mon 23-Oct-17 14:03:31

Yanbu in principle. There's no reason he can't cook if you are settling dd.

It would probably just be easier to cook you all the same meal though. We all ate the same when mine were that age.

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