Waiting for DP to clean...

[coldweatherlove]

I always clean the house all the time... washing up, washing, feeding the dog, cooking.. etc BUT DP has been busy at work recently so doing it hasn't been an issue. Now his work has quietened down he promised me two nights ago he would wash up and clean... so I've been waiting waiting waiting- so far we've had one single wash which has been left in washer and nothing else- shall I just do it or shall I leave it as he does nothing! AIBU to leave it and wait for him to stop lounging round and do it?!

[coldweatherlove]

I feel I may be waiting forever

[MatildaTheCat]

You may be waiting for quite a while but don't give in. When I stared The Sock War I had to see it through no matter how painful.

[Shoxfordian]

Ask him when he's planning to do it

[Aquamarine1029]

Make a list of things you need him to do and give it to him.

[DunkMeInTomatoSoup]

Do you work the same amount of house, out side the home, as he does?

[MarmaladeIsMyJam]

Are you working full time as well? How many children do you have?

[coldweatherlove]

I'll get accused of moaning- his current status is sitting on his computer doing FA!

[coldweatherlove]

Yes I work full time too- no children yet! We don't have a garden or anything so no outside chores to do, just the inside ones!

[MarmaladeIsMyJam]

If you're both working full time why do you do all the cleaning? How many years have you lived together?

[jay55]

Are your clothes being ruined left in the washer? If so I’d empty it and dump his on his head and rewash mine. But I’d be feeling more than a bit petty in your shoes

[PurpleMinionMummy]

Sort your own clothes and leave his to fester, damp, wherever he usually sits so he can't sit there

[confused123456]

Ah the joys of getting a partner to help with cleaning.
My dh's favourite line is "that doesn't need doing". Or another is "I'll do it in a minute/ soon/ after/ later/ tomorrow/ when I've got time".
Then if I do ask him to give me a hand to get it done quicker, by the time I've told him what needs doing and how to do it, I could have done it myself anyway.
Hence why cleaning is mostly my department.

[ginnybag]

Have you had clothes sitting in the washer for two days damp?

They'll stink! I hope there's nothing expensive or important in there because you'll almost definitely be replacing it.

[knowwhereyourheadis]

I asked mine to change the toilet roll properly, once it was empty.
You know, just put the new one on the holder and throw the tube in the bin.
The roll remained balanced on top to the holder, and after 13 empty tubes I gave up and just mounted the next one on the holder myself.
I couldn't hold out any longer.

[knowwhereyourheadis]

• on top OF the holder

[coldweatherlove]

Only old rags and bedsheets in there that he uses in his garage so I'm waiting it out with that... he's saying the house is already tidy... I can see a whole table full of bits and wires for his garage, the kitchen sides a complete disaster- washing in washing machine and the bedroom has his clothes all on the floor (same with bathroom) think I'll have to bite the bullet and clean

[Dashper]

DH paying for a cleaner helped us with his inability to realise his share of the cleaning needed doing. And me dumping all his stuff in a single pile if it got too much.
Leave it as long as you can bear.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

People have different standards of cleanliness sometimes but I do think that men especially use the ‘it doesn’t need doing’ line to mean they can’t be arsed to do it but they know that you will.

Just to warn you - he will never change. He has misogynistic tendencies ingrained (by unusual in our society) and they will never go away. You will always have to work harder and think more and worry more about all things domestic. It sucks.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

*not unusual