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AIBU to stab his dirty balls?

(39 Posts)
4teensandababy Mon 23-Oct-17 08:32:56

Last night I swept and mopped the kitchen floor. It was sparkling.
I come downstairs this morning to DH (football coach) and 30+ incredibly dirty balls spread across the kitchen floor whilst he's pumping them up.
WIBU to stab his dirty balls with a sharp implement?

JennyOnAPlate Mon 23-Oct-17 08:34:43

Yanbu at all.

This thread is totally not what I thought it’d be grin

Candlelight234 Mon 23-Oct-17 08:36:27

Yanbu! He needs to get the flor back to the sparkling condition it was in before too.

ijustwannadance Mon 23-Oct-17 08:37:28

Just tell him to mop the floor again.

Lethaldrizzle Mon 23-Oct-17 08:37:45

No - houses are for living in! It's just mud.

Coconutspongexo Mon 23-Oct-17 08:38:31

I thought this was going to be a thread about cheating grin


timeisnotaline Mon 23-Oct-17 08:39:29

YANBU! He had better mop and do a good job or it would be sub zero at ours!

CryingMessFFS Mon 23-Oct-17 08:40:13

Do it!

Ploppie4 Mon 23-Oct-17 08:40:33

Hand him the mop

4teensandababy Mon 23-Oct-17 08:41:24

Sorry all about the misleading title. Thought I'd inject some humour into a Monday morning!
Balls now gone and have handed him the mop and bucket grin

Firstworlddramas Mon 23-Oct-17 08:53:41

I winced and last time I checked I don't even have balls!

AlternativeTentacle Mon 23-Oct-17 08:56:31

Did he really have to be handed the mop and bucket? Could he not see the mess he made?

Sagethyme Mon 23-Oct-17 09:02:16

Brilliant thread OP.... Just what is needed on a wet mardy Monday, given me a good chuckle!

Uokbing Mon 23-Oct-17 09:03:23

Excellent thread title! I totally got sucked in and thought it was going to be about cheating!

Yanbu, though. What sort of implement are we thinking here?

SchadenfreudePersonified Mon 23-Oct-17 09:06:59

For a minute I thought you were Britain's answer to Mrs Bobbitt!

Stab away, my dear, stab away. grin

TerribleTime Mon 23-Oct-17 09:08:28

This actually did make me laugh out loud.


ReasonableLlama Mon 23-Oct-17 09:08:33

I think this is my most favourite thread title yet grin

The topic doesn’t even come close to what I was imagining

Brenna24 Mon 23-Oct-17 09:09:38

grin Stab away. Then make him clean up. That made me laugh.

abbsisspartacus Mon 23-Oct-17 09:10:02


Parques Mon 23-Oct-17 09:17:56

Happens here all the bloody time! Plus the sodding dirty football boots!

SchadenfreudePersonified Mon 23-Oct-17 09:25:45

You know what gets me Parques?

They can walk through leaving a trail of mud, leaves, twig and slugs etc, and then when you point it out to them - deny it. "It wasn't me!" (in an outraged tone)

"You have still got the boots on! You are standing at the end of a trail of filth! Your boots are still shedding clarts everywhere!"

"It wasn't me! I get the blame for everything in this house!"

SleepFreeZone Mon 23-Oct-17 09:26:50

It made me smile too 🙊

RiversrunWoodville Mon 23-Oct-17 09:29:03

Best thread title ever award goes to <drumroll please> 4teensandababy

BougieQueen Mon 23-Oct-17 09:37:14

Stab those balls.

HooraySunshine Mon 23-Oct-17 09:43:00

SchadenfreudePersonified Ha! grin that sounds like a sound recording at my house! My DH tracked in fox poo once and he walked all over the house in boots covered in the stuff. I come home, open the door to a whaff of smell, brown poo boot prints everywhere upstairs, everywhere downstairs, him STILL wearing said boots which are STILL covered in poo. I say 'WTH!!' and he says 'What?' ...Really?? You can't see or smell what you've done??

grin Handed him the mop, told him to clean it all up. I can sympathise OP!! grin

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