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AIBU?

To ignore her?

411 replies

AwayInLalaLand · 23/10/2017 00:44

I received a series of Facebook message recently from a woman I don't know at all and have no mutual friends with. Apparently, in 2011, I went on four dates with her current boyfriend.

Her messages are very long and she asks a series of personal questions including did he get you pregnant? Did you have an abortion? She asks because "he can't remember". I didn't respond and she's been messaging since calling me unfair for not answering.

I never slept with him.

She is saying it's upsetting him not knowing if he has a child and I owe him an explanation. Funnily enough he has messaged me or attempted to contact me in anyway. She has given me her mobile number and is demanding I call her.

Am I being unreasonable ignoring her and just blocking her or should I respond and fix his memory? I just feel that six years later it's ridiculous to message me out of the blue about impossibilities.

OP posts:
e1y1 · 23/10/2017 00:48

Block.

Sorry can’t be more helpful than that.

WineOhWine · 23/10/2017 00:50

I agree, block. She sounds batshit!! 😬

snorkmaiden68 · 23/10/2017 00:51

Ignore and block. She sounds a bit weird to be honest messaging ex girlfriends and demanding to know things. You don't need the stress in your life

Ttbb · 23/10/2017 00:53

Definitely ignore her

RedBullBlood · 23/10/2017 00:53

Block
or
tell her the triplets are doing fine without him. Then block.

Telstar99 · 23/10/2017 00:54

Yep block. She sounds a bit unhinged.

Theresnonamesleft · 23/10/2017 00:56

I would tell her bluntly if he gave a fuck about any kids he might have, he would’ve contacting all females he had been with. He hasn’t. It’s not your fault he has the memory of a gnat. Take the message and stop contacting me.
Then I would block.

AwayInLalaLand · 23/10/2017 00:57

Sorry in my post I meant he hasn't contacted me or messaged me. Just her.

Oh thank God. I wasn't sure if I was being really horrible just blocking her I'm relieved other people think she's insane too. Thank you! Xx

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/10/2017 00:57

The twins "Ayboo" and "Yaboo" are both fine. They speak 7 languages fluently, are members of Mensa, play viola with the London Philharmonic, and go to Oxford in October to study particle physics...

PointlessUsername · 23/10/2017 00:58

Thats Crazy, who does that.

Block them both.

AlphaBites · 23/10/2017 01:00

@redbullblood

GrinGrin

abbsisspartacus · 23/10/2017 01:09

He could be lying to her ? I'm puzzled why she would believe you had a baby

AwayInLalaLand · 23/10/2017 01:11

Abbsisspart

OP posts:
AwayInLalaLand · 23/10/2017 01:13

Abbsisspartacus I have no idea why he'd lie to her or why she'd message me. I do have children but I dated him in 2011 and DC1 was born over two years later. I have genuinely no idea but apparently I'm putting unnecessary strain on their relationship by not responding Confused

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/10/2017 01:20

He must have indicated it was a possibility.

How strange

CardsforKittens · 23/10/2017 01:21

Definitely block. Don't engage. If she's already sent you multiple long messages, she's unlikely to go away and leave you alone even if you tell her there were four dates and no pregnancy. She will probably keep escalating things. If she tracks you down via a different route, take it seriously. This is not the behaviour of someone who just wants a bit of background. It's really quite unstable behaviour.

Doramaybe · 23/10/2017 01:21

Forget Facebook too. It is the spawn of the Devil, nothing but trouble.

So many posts on here mention it as a catalyst for breakups, nastiness, stalking, whatever.

Get rid of it.

BenLui · 23/10/2017 01:27

She does sound distressed. I might reply kindly but firmly that you aren’t going to discuss details of your ancient relationship history with a stranger and that you will therefore be blocking her.

He can presumably contact you if he needs to.

This does put me in mind if a recent thread where an MNer contacted every woman in her DH’s FB list, which struck me as highly inappropriate behaviour at the time although she was clearly very upset.

Kind but detached is probably the way to go.

MadMags · 23/10/2017 01:31

He probably doesn't remember you and thinks you're a different ex!

Intomyarms · 23/10/2017 01:32

There was a thread on here recently about a woman who had accessed her husband's facebook account and discovered he had blocked a large number of women. He initially told her he didn't know or remember them but it later emerged that he had had an affair with at least one of them a year into a new relationship with her.

I suspect this woman has some information and is trying to piece things together. I don't know what the best thing to do is particularly as she is asking you very personal questions which I certainly wouldn't answer, but take a look for the above thread. It was an interesting one.

Shiftymake · 23/10/2017 01:33

How hard is it to send " We never slept together, naturally we don't have any children due to this, leave me alone and good luck with your life", then block.

hiddley · 23/10/2017 01:35

Block.

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AwayInLalaLand · 23/10/2017 01:38

@Shiftymake I am tempted but in the last 24 hours I've had fourteen messages from her. She started with incredibly personal questions and has become quite disturbing.

She's blocked now. Thank you for the reassurances I'm not completely horrible. I do feel for her as there may be something more going on but I really don't want to be dragged into it x

OP posts:
Bizzysocks · 23/10/2017 01:42

I agree with shifty why not put her mind at rest then block. It obviously means a lot to her even if you think she is crazy, it's not much hassle to write back, it would have taken less time than posting this thread.

Bizzysocks · 23/10/2017 01:44

Now you have blocked her I bet she will think you are hiding his child.

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