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To ignore her?

(412 Posts)
AwayInLalaLand Mon 23-Oct-17 00:44:38

I received a series of Facebook message recently from a woman I don't know at all and have no mutual friends with. Apparently, in 2011, I went on four dates with her current boyfriend.

Her messages are very long and she asks a series of personal questions including did he get you pregnant? Did you have an abortion? She asks because "he can't remember". I didn't respond and she's been messaging since calling me unfair for not answering.

I never slept with him.

She is saying it's upsetting him not knowing if he has a child and I owe him an explanation. Funnily enough he has messaged me or attempted to contact me in anyway. She has given me her mobile number and is demanding I call her.

Am I being unreasonable ignoring her and just blocking her or should I respond and fix his memory? I just feel that six years later it's ridiculous to message me out of the blue about impossibilities.

e1y1 Mon 23-Oct-17 00:48:34


Sorry can’t be more helpful than that.

WineOhWine Mon 23-Oct-17 00:50:14

I agree, block. She sounds batshit!! 😬

snorkmaiden68 Mon 23-Oct-17 00:51:47

Ignore and block. She sounds a bit weird to be honest messaging ex girlfriends and demanding to know things. You don't need the stress in your life

Ttbb Mon 23-Oct-17 00:53:21

Definitely ignore her

RedBullBlood Mon 23-Oct-17 00:53:35

tell her the triplets are doing fine without him. Then block.

Telstar99 Mon 23-Oct-17 00:54:44

Yep block. She sounds a bit unhinged.

Theresnonamesleft Mon 23-Oct-17 00:56:41

I would tell her bluntly if he gave a fuck about any kids he might have, he would’ve contacting all females he had been with. He hasn’t. It’s not your fault he has the memory of a gnat. Take the message and stop contacting me.
Then I would block.

AwayInLalaLand Mon 23-Oct-17 00:57:30

Sorry in my post I meant he hasn't contacted me or messaged me. Just her.

Oh thank God. I wasn't sure if I was being really horrible just blocking her I'm relieved other people think she's insane too. Thank you! Xx

PomBearWithAnOFRS Mon 23-Oct-17 00:57:53

The twins "Ayboo" and "Yaboo" are both fine. They speak 7 languages fluently, are members of Mensa, play viola with the London Philharmonic, and go to Oxford in October to study particle physics...

PointlessUsername Mon 23-Oct-17 00:58:13

Thats Crazy, who does that.

Block them both.

AlphaBites Mon 23-Oct-17 01:00:42



abbsisspartacus Mon 23-Oct-17 01:09:24

He could be lying to her ? I'm puzzled why she would believe you had a baby

AwayInLalaLand Mon 23-Oct-17 01:11:15


AwayInLalaLand Mon 23-Oct-17 01:13:20

Abbsisspartacus I have no idea why he'd lie to her or why she'd message me. I do have children but I dated him in 2011 and DC1 was born over two years later. I have genuinely no idea but apparently I'm putting unnecessary strain on their relationship by not responding confused

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 23-Oct-17 01:20:38

He must have indicated it was a possibility.

How strange

CardsforKittens Mon 23-Oct-17 01:21:26

Definitely block. Don't engage. If she's already sent you multiple long messages, she's unlikely to go away and leave you alone even if you tell her there were four dates and no pregnancy. She will probably keep escalating things. If she tracks you down via a different route, take it seriously. This is not the behaviour of someone who just wants a bit of background. It's really quite unstable behaviour.

Doramaybe Mon 23-Oct-17 01:21:30

Forget Facebook too. It is the spawn of the Devil, nothing but trouble.

So many posts on here mention it as a catalyst for breakups, nastiness, stalking, whatever.

Get rid of it.

BenLui Mon 23-Oct-17 01:27:56

She does sound distressed. I might reply kindly but firmly that you aren’t going to discuss details of your ancient relationship history with a stranger and that you will therefore be blocking her.

He can presumably contact you if he needs to.

This does put me in mind if a recent thread where an MNer contacted every woman in her DH’s FB list, which struck me as highly inappropriate behaviour at the time although she was clearly very upset.

Kind but detached is probably the way to go.

MadMags Mon 23-Oct-17 01:31:06

He probably doesn't remember you and thinks you're a different ex!

Intomyarms Mon 23-Oct-17 01:32:47

There was a thread on here recently about a woman who had accessed her husband's facebook account and discovered he had blocked a large number of women. He initially told her he didn't know or remember them but it later emerged that he had had an affair with at least one of them a year into a new relationship with her.

I suspect this woman has some information and is trying to piece things together. I don't know what the best thing to do is particularly as she is asking you very personal questions which I certainly wouldn't answer, but take a look for the above thread. It was an interesting one.

Shiftymake Mon 23-Oct-17 01:33:06

How hard is it to send " We never slept together, naturally we don't have any children due to this, leave me alone and good luck with your life", then block.

hiddley Mon 23-Oct-17 01:35:45


AwayInLalaLand Mon 23-Oct-17 01:38:12

@Shiftymake I am tempted but in the last 24 hours I've had fourteen messages from her. She started with incredibly personal questions and has become quite disturbing.

She's blocked now. Thank you for the reassurances I'm not completely horrible. I do feel for her as there may be something more going on but I really don't want to be dragged into it x

Bizzysocks Mon 23-Oct-17 01:42:23

I agree with shifty why not put her mind at rest then block. It obviously means a lot to her even if you think she is crazy, it's not much hassle to write back, it would have taken less time than posting this thread.

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