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To feel frustrated that you can't do anything with young children

(115 Posts)
Chattycat78 Sun 22-Oct-17 20:50:52

Just that. Tried to go to a family party today which was around 1.5 hours away. Maybe stupid to consider it with a 17 month old and an almost 3 year old but I really wanted to try.

The end result was - Barely managed to speak to people who I hadn't seen for a long time. Husband had to entertain older one and I had the younger one. They both wriggled, cried, refused to eat, and neither of us got a single moment to relax or socialise in an environment not kitted out for small people.

I know this is "how it is" with small children - but what's the solution? Do you- a. Forget anything vaguely complicated until they are older knowing it's "not worth it"- or
B. Do it anyway knowing you'll have a tough time but at least you've tried?

KalaLaka Sun 22-Oct-17 20:53:04

a is so much less stressful.

KalaLaka Sun 22-Oct-17 20:54:53

You also have to bring loads of stuff to play with and snack on. Avoid certain events if you know they'll just be a headache.

JennyOnAPlate Sun 22-Oct-17 20:55:55

A. Definitely do A.

RefuseTheLies Sun 22-Oct-17 20:56:25

We went pumpkin picking today with our toddler. I thought it would be a lovely autumn / Halloween activity. It was a fucking disaster. Toddler screamed at everything. We went home after 30 mins.

Chattycat78 Sun 22-Oct-17 20:57:31

Thanks guys. It helps it's not "just me"confused

FaFoutis Sun 22-Oct-17 20:57:35

It doesn't last that long really.

ineedamoreadultieradult Sun 22-Oct-17 20:58:24

I have to say I used to love big family gatherings as a way of entertaining toddlers. We used to turn up and would basically not see the kids again until home time as they would be monopolised by various family members feeding them too much cake!

BamburyFuriou3 Sun 22-Oct-17 20:58:26

Or commit a parental faux Pas and take iPads with headphones and loads of cbeebies downloaded for them to watch - which is what I did for our biggest family gathering for 30 years.... And got tutted at hmm

Chattycat78 Sun 22-Oct-17 20:59:31

Yeah we forgot the iPad! Might have been better if we had!

WhatWouldGenghisDo Sun 22-Oct-17 20:59:48

A mostly. Then in a crazy access of boredom / over-confidence fling ourselves into B. Cope with the repercussions of B. Revert to A.

OuchBollocks Sun 22-Oct-17 21:01:52

A. Definitely A. DD is 3.3 and getting much easier to take places already, so I can chill a bit more with the baby knowing that nothing lasts forever. In the mean time convince yourself you love kicking leaves, running down a hill, pretending to make phone calls with the display phones in the supermarket etc safe in the knowledge that before you know it they'll look at you like this hmm if you dare suggest spending time together.

SpottyGecko Sun 22-Oct-17 21:01:59

I've a 5yo and a 13 month old.

Today has been dreadful. The 5yo was worse than the baby. He's normally so easy these days, but a half term of year 1 under his belt has turned him into an overtired, naughty little devil. And the baby whinged all day.

I feel your pain

Birdsgottafly Sun 22-Oct-17 21:03:06

Definitely A.

I had loads of days out planned with my GD over last Christmas/Summer, but had forgot how mardy/awkward under 2.5's are.

MyBabyIsAWerewolfAhwooooo Sun 22-Oct-17 21:05:06

C. Go and leave partner behind to care for the kids

D. Send partner with the kids and enjoy the peace

GingerAndPrickles Sun 22-Oct-17 21:05:57

A mostly. Then in a crazy access of boredom / over-confidence fling ourselves into B. Cope with the repercussions of B. Revert to A

Preach sister. wine

Chattycat78 Sun 22-Oct-17 21:06:05

Loving c and d!

Whatsername17 Sun 22-Oct-17 21:06:29

I feel your pain. Whilst dd1 was under 5, I never took her to a wedding, party or any event after bedtime because it was hard work and not fun. I'm lucky as my parents are very willing babysitters. Dd2 is 9 months and I'll be doing the same with her. Mil was annoyed when my parents picked dd1 up at 6.30pm from sils wedding, but dd was only 4 and dh wanted to stay until the very end of his sister's wedding. It was better that she went home early than all of us have to leave when she got tired and became a head spinning monster. Throwing out an option 'C' and get a babysitter if you can. wine

Dozer Sun 22-Oct-17 21:07:25

A or C, one of you goes alone.

Can work things so that each parent gets some leisure time to do whatever. Harder to work things so that you can get time as a couple.

MrsKoala Sun 22-Oct-17 21:08:58

Yeah, just A and a tinkly laugh when people say 'i took my kids everywhere and they happily sat in the corner with a colouring pad and a pencil' (i'm sure they'll be along soon).

MrsKoala Sun 22-Oct-17 21:10:02

Every now and then do B just to remind yourself why you do A.

Chattycat78 Sun 22-Oct-17 21:11:17

Mrs Koala- yeah I know people like that already. My kids aren't those kids though!hmm

evilgiraffe Sun 22-Oct-17 21:11:24

I think (c) go to things that are child-friendly. A week or two ago we went to a family party with our 3 year old and 18 month old, roughly 1.5 hours from home. It was a piss easy day, because:
1) it was at my gran's house
2) my cousins' kids (all a few years older) are great with mine
3) my parents, cousins, and other relatives are a big attraction for my children, and play/interact with then well, as DH and I do with the other family children

If it's a family party in an inhospitable location with people who are essentially strangers to the kids then that's much harder work! Worth persevering though, as if you meet people often enough they become familiar to the kids and that makes everything easier.

BakedBeeeen Sun 22-Oct-17 21:11:37

You can pick and choose the events you go to, and you have a good excuse not to go!

I feel your pain, 18months to 2 years is a very hard age, especially with a high energy little boy. They just want to run around, climb things, and try to break stuff...arrrggghhh!!

It will get easier, Our 3.5 year old DS is so much easier at these sort of things now. For example, we went out to a restaurant for lunch today and he sat and ate his meal and chatted to us and was generally very well behaved.

C0untDucku1a Sun 22-Oct-17 21:11:47

Tech is your friend op.

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