MIL passed away 2 months ago. FIL (elderly, in his mid 70s) now lives alone with only myself and DH for company a few evenings a week and a day at the weekend. He doesn’t really have any friends or any idea of how to fill his time during the day, and he’s incredibly old fashioned and stubborn so rejects any ideas we have for him to get out a bit more during the week. He basically spends his days waiting to come over to our house.
DH has just been round to his house and found that FIL has covered all photos of MIL with paperwork/post/envelopes so you can’t see her. There are a number of photos in their house of herself and FIL with family, so this is a lot of photos that have been covered up. I know people grieve in different ways, but this concerns me a bit. I just suggested to DH that he might want to see if FIL will visit his GP or get some help (there’s only so much time we can give him - DH works full time and I’ve just had a baby, but we do the maximum that we can for him), but he said there’s zero chance of FIL acknowledging that he needs extra support. He’s just so stubborn.
What do I do? I know that there’s no “normal” way to grieve, but the photo thing has me worried. What can I do? We already give him as much of our time as we possibly can around the baby and DHs job (never mind the fact that DH is also grieving). How can you get someone to admit that they need extra support when they’re as stubborn as he is? And what extra support is there available for him? He won’t see his GP (he doesn’t like his doctors surgery but won’t change), might be too soon for some sort of counselling, and I don’t think medication is the answer. Worth mentioning that he hardly sleeps also, wakes at 1am and then doesn’t go back to sleep, so is just roaming around the house in the early hours. Any advice of how we could help him would be welcome.
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How to help grieving FIL (is this “normal”?)
13 replies
Stripesandstars44 · 22/10/2017 15:42
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