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Is there a similar forum to MN for men? And if not, why not?

(681 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Multidimensionalbeing Sun 22-Oct-17 13:42:32

Because I think there should be.

I don't hate men though it will probably be suggested. I really don't. And I think the forum should be open to anyone who wants to use it for advice.

But....It's becoming increasingly strange around here. We've always had the 'what about the menz?' posters derailing threads talking about the harrassment or abuse of women by pointing out that women do it too..... Though it seems worse recently.

But now it seems that so many threads descend into accusations that men are treated differently on MN and often they are. But surely that's because it has a predominantly female membership? Who will see things from the female perspective?

It seems to me that it's causing division and bun-fighting among posters when I genuinely don't understand why there isn't a similar forum available for men?

Why not?

Why does a man join a predominantly female forum to then point out that they're not being treated like a woman? Or....just sit and watch as the women do it for them?

If there is no where else for them on-line then why not?

I'm sure it's possible.

UnbornMortificado Sun 22-Oct-17 13:56:31

I think it's because if at least some of them tried to talk to other men the way they talk to women on here they would get told to fuck off.

The last DV and abuse threads I read both had posters popping up not to give advice or sympathise but to remind us it happens to men too.

Of course there is the fact that two men a week are killed by a partner or ex partner...

Except no that would be women.

Anecdoche Sun 22-Oct-17 13:57:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreatStar Sun 22-Oct-17 13:58:11

There isnt the same demand.

But Why don't you take the initiative and start a dadsnet?

PurpleDaisies Sun 22-Oct-17 13:59:53

Dadsnet exists.

PurpleDaisies Sun 22-Oct-17 14:00:24

NoCryLilSoftSoft Sun 22-Oct-17 14:03:03

Umm why would it be up to the people on MN to create a website for men to chat? confused surely if men want to chat they’ll do it. Just like MN was created by women because they wanted it.

megletthesecond Sun 22-Oct-17 14:04:17

Pistonheads is similar (last time I had a look).

NoCryLilSoftSoft Sun 22-Oct-17 14:05:04

I think sometimes people confuse MN for “the whole internet”. You do realise there is a big massive online world out there don’t you? Have you even searched for male chat forums?

RunningOutOfCharge Sun 22-Oct-17 14:05:15

Can’t the men create a forum if they want one?

bilbodog Sun 22-Oct-17 14:07:43

Men dont seem to talk like women do - at least that is my experience from my DF, DH, DS - sometimes like getting blood out if a stone!!! I think they would benefit greatly from chatting more but they have got to do it themselves!!!!

RemainOptimistic Sun 22-Oct-17 14:10:30

There is a forum for men. It's called THE REST OF THE INTERNET.

Sorry for shouting, it's just that MN is the only forum I've found where women can (99% of the time) discuss in their own style and on issues important to them without men piling on to tell them how wrong they are.

If you don't believe me then off you go, try out the rest of the Internet and let me know how you get on.

KrytensNanobots Sun 22-Oct-17 14:14:05

Why does a man join a predominantly female forum to then point out that they're not being treated like a woman?

Do they? I'd say they join a parenting forum as Mums or Dads, we all want advice , support, chat from other parents. Whether we're male or female is irrelevant.
Not much to ask to be treated the same regardless of what bits you've got between your legs.

Trueheart1 Sun 22-Oct-17 14:20:08

This is not just an MN phenomenon. I am a member of two FB mums groups and both are full of men pointing out that it is not just mums who look after children.
The admin justified the admission of men to one group about motherhood by stating the only men they let in were gay or gender fluid???
It makes me sad that men feel they cannot stay away from female spaces. It feels as if some men must always find female spaces and assert their dominance. When you think about it, it is very odd.

HateHomework Sun 22-Oct-17 14:21:21

Is this related to Aldi? hmm

MancLife Sun 22-Oct-17 14:21:24

If you want a female only forum feel free to start one. However this is a parenting website for either sex. Saying it's mainly for women so men should stay away is the same shitty argument men use in other areas of life. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

Multidimensionalbeing Sun 22-Oct-17 14:23:54

All of you are saying exactly what I think but I was careful in my title and OP because I didn't want it to be ignored in the way that more obviously 'feminist' (i.e, I'm not one of those, here come the man haters...etc) titles are.

Yes, there is Dadsnet and the rest of the bloody internet but still I'm seeing this forum being used by men to tell us that men have a hard time too and women falling over themselves to apologise that sometimes men get a hard time on here.

When there is apparently nowhere else that men can post? Really?

I think men are welcome here. They are. But posting 'what about the menz' or complaining that they'd have different responses if they were women on a predominantly female forum just makes no fucking sense to me.

So, make a forum for yourselves surely? We can't have anything geared towards a female perspective with female responses without having to think about how it affects men?

sunandmoonshine Sun 22-Oct-17 14:24:27

I agree with the poster who said take the initiative, and start one! (If it bothers you that there isn't a similar forum for men.)

I do find it odd that men come here, or women who aren't mums. It is MUMSNET after all!

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 22-Oct-17 14:25:11

Some join for parenting advice and chat. Others because their bullshit wouldn't be tolerated on a predominantly male site and they know they'll be backed up by fangirls. Some just come to troll. There was one who used to troll the PRS forum, particularly the Muslim women. The simpering support he would receive was embarrassing.

HateHomework Sun 22-Oct-17 14:25:37

Men dont seem to talk like women do
No they don't bitch like we do, or look in the fine print of every OP's AIBU post to prove they ABU!

KrytensNanobots Sun 22-Oct-17 14:32:01

I do find it odd that men come here,

It's a PARENTING forum. Where people come for support, or parenting advice and opinions.
Why the fk shouldn't men get parenting advice too?

NormaNameChange Sun 22-Oct-17 14:33:33

I think it says "by parents for parents" up there...

Multidimensionalbeing Sun 22-Oct-17 14:34:21

Krytens - I have no problem with men seeking or sharing parenting advice. I DO have a problem with men pitching up on threads about male abuse saying ' women do it too'. We're not stupid, we know they do, it's just not on the same scale and it's ridiculous for a man to pop on and say 'what about us'?

Manc - I'm not saying 'men stay away'. I'm saying don't post about how hard men have it or mansplain all over a predominantly female forum and get pissy that you're treated differently to a woman.

And women have never and still aren't in any circumstances able to say 'men stay away' so I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.

Trueheart1 Sun 22-Oct-17 14:35:06

KrytensNonobots It is a parenting forum called MUMSnet, clue is in the name. I would not join a group called Dadsnet because it is a parenting group because I am a woman.

TheStoic Sun 22-Oct-17 14:35:24

I agree with your sentiment, OP.

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