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to ask why so many people didn't stop to help?

(210 Posts)
willothewisp17 Sun 22-Oct-17 11:16:37

long story cut short - l was out last night at the threate with my sil and mil, once play had finished we went to wetherspoons, sil got taxi because her feet were sore and me and mil walked.

found a man passed out on the ground (it was cold and raining) made sure he had a pulse and tried to rouse him, he woke up a bit and it was soon discovered he was drunk, his friends had all left him, didn't want an ambulance or the police called because he's known with the police and then passed out again. felt his pockets for a phone to see if we could get someone but he had nothing so we phoned the local police station and they came and helped him up and took him home.

what gets me is in the time when we were phoning the police station (we had moved away from him to do this so he didn't hear and get angry/stressed) so many people walked past him and didn't even bother to stop and see that he was okay! not even a glance! is this normal? I don't think it matters that he was drunk and his own fault he was in that state, he still needed help, we couldn't leave him there in the rain!

Notanumberuser Sun 22-Oct-17 11:18:47

He’s a drunk. Possibly violent alcoholic if he’s known to police.

I would have stopped in the past but after an experience on valentines night outside a tgi fridays I wouldn’t stop again.

Nikephorus Sun 22-Oct-17 11:19:35

Presumably they felt you were dealing with it?

JonSnowsWife Sun 22-Oct-17 11:20:30

Yes perfectly normal. Especially if he was known to the police. The people who walked by him may have tried to help on previous occasions and got little thanks for it too.

They probably took him home and left him to sober up.

Notanumberuser Sun 22-Oct-17 11:22:19

I got vomited on, covered in piss and he tried to lamp me one.

My leather jacket And my nice shoes had to go to the bin.

No way would I help anyone now I’d walk on past.

PandorasXbox Sun 22-Oct-17 11:23:22

But they would have seen that you were helping him..

ukelelebanana Sun 22-Oct-17 11:23:56

For one thing, you were already dealing with it. For another, they may not even have noticed. For a third, as a woman walking home at night I'm not going to stop to investigate a drunk man lying on the ground, there are too many ways that works out badly for me.

PurpleWithRed Sun 22-Oct-17 11:25:25

In my experience (relevant) I've found passers by brilliant when someone needs help unless it's night time, the person is alone and the person appears to be drunk. People are right to be wary.

WorraLiberty Sun 22-Oct-17 11:26:01

Presumably they could see you and your MIL were already helping him.

sayyouwill Sun 22-Oct-17 11:28:33

My ex got into a fight with some guys in town and they knocked him down and stamped on his head. His jaw was broken in 4 places and he had fractured his cheekbone. I watched the cctv footage of the attack and it was 6 hours before anyone called an ambulance for him. He was literally lying unconscious on the floor in the town centre. People walked past him all night and 6 hours before someone called an ambulance or even gave a shit.

He was an awful person mind you and he brought the attach on himself by trying to get with some girl at the bus stop, she said no she had a bf, the bf came over and my ex started throwing money at her saying she was a whore and he'd paid her so he could do whatever he wanted now and her bf just dropped him with one punch and stamped on his head and walked off.... but still, 6 hours was far too long for anyone to be left like that

AtSea1979 Sun 22-Oct-17 11:29:29

I've stopped before when young (and foolish) I don't know whether I would now. It could have ended so differently for you and your MIL.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 22-Oct-17 11:32:01

As already said, you were helping so other passers by didn’t feel they had to. Non story.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 22-Oct-17 11:32:48

Maybe the locals already know this person and have been on the receiving end of the abuse before.

Where I live it's not unusual to find the well known town alcoholic people staggering abiut falling over and telling at people. I helped a man a couple if years ago who was falling about but he had a cycle helmet on so I rightly or wrongly assumed he wasn't drunk but perhaps epileptic having a bit if an episode so I helped him get back up and I got his card out the machine for him and made sure he was ok befire I left.

I also stayed and helped out some pissed young girl who passed out on me and made sure she was safe in the back of an ambulance befire I left.

But I'm sad to say id not approach sone of the people I see in town as they are famous for telling everyone to fuck off and they are aggressive.

InsomniacAnonymous Sun 22-Oct-17 11:35:38

I wouldn't go near anyone passed out drunk. I also don't own a mobile phone so wouldn't even be able to phone for an ambulance or the police if necessary.

Ecclesiastes Sun 22-Oct-17 11:36:24

Lol at stopping to check the pulse of every passed out pisshead I walk past on a night out.

Erm, no thanks.

NewDaddie Sun 22-Oct-17 11:39:17

Nobody stops to help men in the street. I don’t want to sound victim blaming and it’s sad but I would never expect a woman to help a man in the street we as a class do far too much wrong to not expect women to have a healthy amount of wariness towards us.

Notanumberuser Sun 22-Oct-17 11:41:48

I wouldn’t stop to help a woman either.

I was very frightened. And I haven’t been able to go out on a night out that involves a late night walk to bus / train since.

ukelelebanana Sun 22-Oct-17 11:42:53

I'd probably stop to help a woman, purely because she's at so much more risk of harm in that state.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere Sun 22-Oct-17 11:43:02

I stopped to help someone many years ago and got my head kicked and a 2 day hospital stay as thanks.

I would never stop again.

I would go out of sight and call the police/ambulance though.

Misspollyhadadollie Sun 22-Oct-17 11:44:49

Reminds me off the time a man was passed out outside our station in my local high street. No I didn't stop as I had my children with me and my phone was off anyway. Lots of people didn't stop. I think only one person did.

Mummyoflittledragon Sun 22-Oct-17 11:45:09

It’s not just drunks though. I have ME/CFS and I collapse on the ground or on park benches through lack of energy sometimes. I’m normally with my dog. In daylight as I never go out as I’m too ill. Many more people have just walked passed me than helped.

Same with my dd. She suffers with reflex anoxic seizures but I didn’t know that the first time it happened. She had her first full blown one at 18 months. Basically her heart stops beating for a minute then automatically restarts. I was in the middle of boots. I was on the ground, had my dd on my lap. I was by entrance/exit and the tills. She was white, purple lipped and looked dead. The fucking shoppers just stepped over me instead of around me. No one stopped apart from staff members, who called over the store medic and an ambulance. I thought for a few minutes that she’d died so I was in terrible shock.

NewDaddie Sun 22-Oct-17 11:45:22

I personally have stopped young men from beating up each other, although I’m very wary of doing that now I have dd. I have dragged drunks out of the road and onto the pavement and once it was a diabetic!

I generally will check they’re breathing, call the police and leave them in a safe place I wouldn’t stick around long for a drunk though.

Misspollyhadadollie Sun 22-Oct-17 11:47:37

To add i wouldn't stop without them either most I would do is call an ambulance but my phones rubbish and mostly I have no battery.

madcatwoman61 Sun 22-Oct-17 11:48:58

On holiday many years ago with husband and kids, we passed a body at the side of the road miles from anywhere in the highlands. Stopped to see if he was ok and got a load of abuse and a threat to start a fight, so we left him there. I might stop to help a woman, but have had bad experiences there too

frieda909 Sun 22-Oct-17 11:49:45

I always stop to help if I feel safe doing so, e.g. if there are other people around. If I don’t feel safe then I call the police station to let them know there’s someone potentially in danger and give them the location.

I once found a young guy lying on the pavement semi-conscious at night in the middle of a busy part of town. There happened to be police officers nearby so I called them over and the lad managed to mutter something about being diabetic. I was so glad I hadn’t just written him off as a random drunk.

I did a first aid course a while ago and they told us that a lot of people who are passed out or incoherent due to conditions like diabetes, epilepsy etc get ignored because people think ‘oh they must be pissed’. They also told us about a guy who’d fallen unconscious due to some kind of accident, or a heart attack or something like that, and he could actually remember hearing people say ‘just leave him, he’s wasted’. So that’s always in the back of my mind whenever I see someone in that situation (even if the overwhelmingly most likely explanation is that they’re just drunk).

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