My ex is complaining that I am not spending enough fun time with my dd. I work full time and she is of school age. I have homework to do with her a house to clean, washing, ironing, etc, etc but apparently the whole of my weekend should be dedicated to having fun with my daughter. He has her every other weekend Friday night through to Sunday lunchtime and takes her on fun days out he also has her the odd week in the school holidays contact timings is due to him living 180 miles away and I meet him half way to drop off and pick up. Apparently my "reluctance" to spend time with dd is an indication that I don't love her enough and am a rubbish parent. He is constantly criticising my parenting and it is really getting me down. AIBU?
How does he know how much 'fun' time you spend with her? I completely disagree that the whole weekend should be dedicated to having fun with her. It's probably much easier for him to have days out with her at the weekend as he doesn't see her any other time and has all week to catch up on the jobs he needs to do.
He's obviously trying to make you feel guilty. As long as your DD gets to spend quality time with you and she's happy, that's all that matters
OP - I worked ft when my 2 DC were growing up so weekends were a mixture of fun stuff and routine chores. After school it was always, homework, free play and/or tv then bed. If you ask either of them (now adult) if they had a happy childhood, they would both say yes.
I see this as similar to GP, one set always have to do something organised whenever they have the DC, the other set tend to let them run free through their house and garden, play toys and watch TV. If I asked my DC which one they wanted to see it would always be the latter. Downtime and normal life is good for DC in my opinion
He is an ex for a reason (or reasons). He is trying to get under your skin to wind you up. Ignore him! You know that you are doing the best for your child all the time. He pops up every so often for "fun times". If you are worried speak to your daughter, but it sounds to me like you are showing her a balanced family life.
I do save the bigger washes, cleans and clear outs etc for when she is at her dad's but we have a (very hairy) husky so other cleans etc in between need to be done in between. He asks her what she has been doing with mummy and probably gets the same blank look and shoulder shrug I get when I ask her what she has done at school that very day ☺. He has even suggested he could have me investigated for not wanting to take her camping??! That if I find it too difficult to find time to spend with my daughter I should work part time or give custody to him! I do have a mortgage and bills to pay by myself. I take her to the park, out on her bike or scooter, shopping ( she like shopping) do crafts and games with her and take her on holiday. She likes helping me and her teacher has commented that she is a lovely happy child. What more can I do?