Have NC for this but I'm bloody desperate for some advice. Have DSC who live with us, long complicated story regarding bio mother but she's not in their lives (her decision) Anyhow the eldest is a compulsive liar. It started off with typical teenage lies to bend the rules (for example X is having a party - parents will be there - parents weren't party got out of hand) but I did that at their age so obviously wasn't worried. But now it's getting to a point where the lies are becoming serious. Think serious illness, making things up about home life, they had a child on the way which was miscarried, honestly its shocking. I want to involve the GP and get them serious help but I don't know where to start! Counselling and things have been done because of the situation with the bio mother and schools were very helpful, just recently though these lies have spiralled out of control!
How old are they? My eldest has always been a compulsive liar but she wouldn’t lie about serious things like that! Why are they doing it? To get out of trouble/ to get attention? If talking to them and disciplining them isn’t working, I don’t know what I would do. Sorry no advice, but you are right to be worried this isn’t a good sign for adulthood and needs sorting out.
In fact the worst lies are told to others who then come to us worried/annoyed/bewildered We just get the lies to keep them out of trouble (luckily we find out sometimes and prevent quite dangerous situations)
Do you mean she is complaining to other people about being mistreated by you and her Dad? What are the 'dangerous situations' you are having to prevent?
I know this sounds a bit simplistic, and you've probably tried it, but have you sat down with her to discuss your worries? She is old enough to understand that lying about major issues can have major consequences.
Me and dad have been made out to be absolute bastards at school - this was quickly sorted when we confirmed reasons for the punishment in force at the time (phone confiscation) and the teacher I spoke to was There's been a child on the way which some people were told miscarried some told aborted Mine and dhs personal business (known by eavesdropping) has been discussed with many people (and also massively exaggerated)
I think trying to get CAHMS involved like others have said. Sounds like she has had a difficult upbringing which could be causing this behaviour. Ive had experience with a teenager brought up in an abusive family and lies were common trying to cover up low self esteem, and extreme loneliness having been abandoned by both parents on and off over the years. Could be a form of personality disorder. Hope you manage to get some help.