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To make bubble and squeak?

(8 Posts)
ProfessorSillyStuff Sun 22-Oct-17 10:29:04

Husband has bought me ornamental cabbages instead of flowers after a long dry unromatic two years with no dates or telling me I look nice. He got a friend to go and buy them and the friend chose the flowers... he didnt 'present' them to me, just left them in the kitchen until i said "where did these come from?"
AIBU to bubble his squeak?

InspMorse Sun 22-Oct-17 10:39:37

Are you romantic OP? Do you 'surprise' your DH with thoughtful gestures/gifts?
If you do, then YANBU. Chop them up with onion & potato, they will be delicious!
If you don't, then YABU. Get over yourself & see the gift for what it is, a not very romantic but kind gesture.

CheshireChat Sun 22-Oct-17 11:22:24

I'd be more annoyed he got someone else to pick the flowers for him than getting it wrong.

I think it wouldn't be an issue if there wouldn't be other problems in the background

ProfessorSillyStuff Sun 22-Oct-17 11:48:17

That sounds fair to me! My answer is that I try. Though I feel that question opens a can of philosophical and metaphorical worms!
What exactly IS romantic to men?
It can usually relate to their passion i think, so for example my man is a comics nerd and loves the Joker, loves all the merchandise especially masks so I bought him a Joker mask (limited edition with a comic inside the box) and wrapped it in handmade wrapping paper to look like a 'joker gift' that joker would send batman ( paper was brown parcel paper that said hahaha all over it)
He likes good food and they say the way to their heart is through the stomach so I learned to cook steak and italian exactly how he likes it, kept practicing till he said it was perfect
Try to look nice and be fun in bed though now i have got fed up of being the one who always initiates
I tell him sweet things like that he is sexy and handsome
Wash his clothes and set them out, plan nice things for us to do or run him a bath

Is there another better way to be romantic to a man? Honest question!

RestlessTraveller Sun 22-Oct-17 12:39:12

That sounds more like you’re his dedicated PA rather than his wife.

ProfessorSillyStuff Sun 22-Oct-17 14:51:54

I do agree but don't know how to do better! I feel i should mention here that I have asperger's syndrome, maybe that is why I seem a little robotic ... how can i do better?

CheshireChat Sun 22-Oct-17 19:12:16

But it takes two to get a relationship to work- what's your partner doing to make things better?

Getting someone else to buy you cabbages?

Have you spoken to him about it?

MatildaTheCat Sun 22-Oct-17 19:37:22

I love ornamental cabbages but also love bubble and squeak so I'm torn.

Seriously, my dh is useless at romantic gestures but pretty ace at practical help which is essential since an injury I suffered. I've decided I value to practical help more. He never praises my appearance without me asking if he likes my new outfit or whatever. Never says meal is nice unprompted. It's annoying. And flowers are always Left on the side in the kitchen.

I suppose there is something about presenting me with compliments or flowers must make him feel uncomfortable. Dunno why. Not uncommon, though.

On a purely practical note, I recently started a flower subscription to receive a fortnightly bouquet. I used his bank account as I reasoned that he would like to make me happy but wasn't aware he could do this as he didn't know it existed. smile

PS you sound very thoughtindeed. Perhaps too much so unless it makes you very happy?

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