To stay at home for the week

[GeometricOwl]

Background:

Two dc - 5 and just turned 1.
Just started back to work and it's been pretty full on.
Baby just started at nursery.
Baby doesn't sleep (that's another thread!). I'm up at least once a night. That's fine, it's to be expected, but I'm struggling to get her back to sleep so I'm often up for between 1.5 and 2 hours. Wednesday night it was 4 hours.
Baby has a cold. Constant thick runny nose and congestion. Sounds croaky and hoarse when she's upset.
My period is imminent and I feel drained and grumpy. Since giving birth it's pretty heavy.

My parents and grandparents all live within a 10mile radius which is 200 miles from where we live.
My parents are very acrimoniously divorced.
My mother is in a wheelchair and lives in a tiny two bed flat. So baby in with us and ds on the floor in the dining room when we stay. Understandably my mum can't provide any assistance when we're there. We're living out of suitcases on the floor as nowhere to put clothes etc.
Hard work looking after two children in a non- baby friendly cramped space.

My dad has two horses, works full time and lives in a damp house which sets off my asthma. Always have to meet my dad elsewhere / can't stay there.

Here's my issue. We're due to go down today for a few days and I just can't be bothered packing, loading up the car, making the drive down and then having full on days being out of the house! I feel worn out. Baby is grizzling at my feet and sounds very hoarse. Now cuddling on my lap which isn't like her.

We were at my hometown in August for a week and will be down again at Christmas. AIBU to stay home? Even though I won't see my parents and they won't see their grandchildren for another two months?

My mum says "me and your aunt will come up for a few days" but she never makes plans to. She's too nervous to travel up alone. Understandable. But I feel, maybe wrongly, that she could make more effort to visit. My aunt is ok with coming up. My mother last came up October 2016. The third time in 15 years.

My dad comes up when his mate can look after his horses. So my dad was up for a week in June. But, there are liveries etc so I feel he could maybe come up more in between if he wanted to see us. When he's here it's relaxing for him so like a holiday of sorts.

I feel it's always us heading down. When it was just me, then just me and Dh, then just me, Dh and ds it was ok. We used to go down frequently for weekends. Now there's four of us it's harder. I'm tired. But I feel guilty that i want to relax at home, in my own house for half term. AIBU?

[KellyMarieTunstall2]

Stay at home. Call and explain the baby is I'll and you are feeling under the weather. Have a rest, its not long until Xmas now. Its not unreasonable to put yourself first.

[GeometricOwl]

I guess I miss my family, and want to see them. But also feel worn out 🙁

[GeometricOwl]

That OP was long. Sorry. Just wanted to paint the scene of the situation we're in.

[Whatsername17]

I'd stay home too. Have a rest. If the baby gets worse and needs to see a doctor at least you can just book and appointment. I feel your pain - I have a 6yo and a 9month old. The baby has been ill for weeks now. Cold after cold resulting in an ear infection that they actually prescribed antibiotics for. It's no fun at all.

[DeegeeDee]

Would also agree with staying home even if you're missing your family. Feeling under the weather now won't improve going to your mum's if the house situation remains as you describe. Am sure that even if she grumbles now, afterwards she will come around to the fact this is what's best for you and the ill ones to do.

Think it's also time for you and DP to think what future accommodation and holiday arrangements should be and begin laying the groundwork with your families.

[confusedlittleone]

Nope I'd stay home and make a point of not going anymore until they make an effort to actually be in the grandchildrens lives

[CiderwithBuda]

Definitely stay home. Baby is ill and tbh your family probably won't want the germs either.

Stay home and relax as much as you can. Much better to be in your own home if you are not feeling great and have a sick DC.

[WishingCarrot]

We’re staying home. My mum understood completely and wants my little one to be in her own home if she’s not well.

I just miss them. And feel tired that it’s often all on us.

Thanks for all your comments

[confusedlittleone]

Name change fail?

[Santawontbelong]

They are more than capable of making plans to visit you. . Tell them that.

[WishingCarrot]

confused yes 😳

Switching between iPad and iPhone whilst sleep deprived 😞