DP and I separated just after I found out I was pregnant; we already had 4 children together. He had said he really wanted to be there for the birth of the baby, either with me or to look after the other DC.
I booked for a home birth as my others were straightforward but being 45 minutes minimum from hospital, I was very unsure that I was willing to risk having baby at home which DP knew. I told him at 7pm that I was in labour and that he could come when I'd got the DC into bed so as not to get them excited about the baby so they wouldn't sleep. He was out at his friends house at the time, but agreed. At 8.30 i told him they were in bed. By 9.30 he hadn't arrived and I hadn't heard from him soon called him; no answer. By 11pm my contractions were 5 mins apart so it was time to go to hospital - he still didn't answer my calls and I had no one to look after the DC except him.
By 1am my contractions were 3 minutes apart so I called the midwife who arrived at 1.30 am. DP arrived at 1.40 am and baby was born at 1.55 am. He had fallen asleep at his friends house, apparently. AIBU to be angry that he almost missed the birth, forced me into a home birth and effectively risked mine and the baby's lives?
You said that you had booked for a home birth. Then you said you were annoyed he wasn't there and that he forced you into a home birth. You didn't phone the midwife until you were well in labour. Sorry, but the only person who was responsible for the safe delivery of your fifth child was you.
Sorry I didn't pay attention to that bit where you said he is ex. That changes things a lot I think. He is an ex and you tried to keep only him as your backup for children while you went to hospital or had home birth. I think YABU. He is ex for a reason.
Bezm why would I call the midwife any sooner? The point is that she's there towards the end, not for hours beforehand. I put off calling for as long as possible in this case because I knew she might wake my other DC and there would be no one to see to them if that happened.
I would leave him off the bc until he shows some level of commitment. Then he can't be pulling rank as the df with pr about contact until you are up to him being around. He sounds like a prize dick head. . Def good reason to have him as an ex.