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To ask at what age

(24 Posts)
Detentioncontent Sat 21-Oct-17 20:42:11

You would have left your child alone.

For a couple of hours in the day
All day while you were at work
For the evenings from say 5pm until 10pm

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Sat 21-Oct-17 20:49:56

My kids are all below 10 so I can only say that 10 would be mine for the couple of hours one. I just can't say for your other scenarios.

I do have a 16 year old DSS who I would feel comfortable leaving on his own in any of those situations, but not with his little brothers!

LadyWire Sat 21-Oct-17 20:57:39

It's different for each child. Mine, although she has ASD, is super sensible and happy to be by herself. I can't remember when I started leaving her for a few minutes, half an hour etc. She was just gone 12 when I left her for the day. Probably about 14ish when I'd leave her for the evening and I think 16 when I left her overnight.

Tilapia Sat 21-Oct-17 20:59:39

My eldest is nearly 12. I’d leave him for a couple of hours but not a day or evening. I’m thinking maybe in a year or two?

BakedBeans47 Sat 21-Oct-17 21:01:14

Mine will be 12 in April and will be letting himself in the house and being home for a couple of hours when he starts high school next August and I am working.

midnightmisssuki Sat 21-Oct-17 21:01:19

when they went to nursery - 1 year. All with a nanny/babysitter.

4yoniD Sat 21-Oct-17 21:01:44

My eldest is almost 10 and very sensible (but a bit of a worrier) and I've recently started leaving her but only for 5 to 10 minutes. Don't know if that helps at all.

CountDuckulaTheSqueaky Sat 21-Oct-17 21:04:26

I'd like to leave DD 10 for a couple of hours now, but she won't let me!

JennyOnAPlate Sat 21-Oct-17 21:07:11

I’ve left my 9 year old for 15-20 minutes at a time to pop to the shops. I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving her for a couple of hours yet though. She’ll be ten in a few months.

Dionysuss Sat 21-Oct-17 21:08:59

I would leave dd1 at home for short times when she was 10. She's now 12 and would be happy home alone all day.

I would leave her 5-10pm but wouldnt want her to make herself dinner and make sure lights are left on (scared of the dark).

cheminotte Sat 21-Oct-17 21:09:44

Probrably around 11
15 or 16

Dc1 is currently 10 and has been left for 20 mins max but planning to build up over next year in preparation for secondary.

NapQueen Sat 21-Oct-17 21:09:54

Couple of hours 12
All day 14
Few hours in eve 14

kaytee87 Sat 21-Oct-17 21:13:21

when they went to nursery - 1 year. All with a nanny/babysitter.

^they’re not being left alone then.

My ds is only 15mo so I can only guess just now...

Secondary school age (11/12) for a couple of hours
14/15 all day depending on maturity
Evenings 14/15 depending on how likely they were to have a party grin

stoneagemum Sat 21-Oct-17 21:23:15

15 overnight

clary Sat 21-Oct-17 21:34:25

12 probably
12 but as part of a group of three DC - when the oldest was 12 we'd have got a sitter for the 8yo

MomToWedThorFriday Sat 21-Oct-17 21:36:27

I would leave DS1 for a couple of hours once he’s about 11 I think (he’s 9). All day if we were at work from around 12/13? Evening from around 14-15. But I’m not there yet so it might not feel right at the time!

mouse26 Sat 21-Oct-17 22:00:31

Mine are 13 and 9 and I'm happy to leave them for a couple of ours during the day now, but only if they're getting on and not bickering. I think I'd be okay leaving them all day but haven't needed to, and I work a 5 minute walk away so would come home at lunch to check on them. I think the eldest needs to be 15 before I'd be comfortable leaving them in the evening

Detentioncontent Sat 21-Oct-17 22:08:52

Thanks that's very helpful.

Me and My Mum have been invited to a show. Show is 7-8 but will have to leave around 5 as on the bus and probably be half nine when we got back.

Youngest is 14.5 years and has been left for an hour or two but always during the day. They say they are happy to be left but I think it's because it's evening and we don't really know neighbours I feel a bit hmm about it.

anotherprosecco Sat 21-Oct-17 22:09:41

I think I probably popped out for 30 mins or so to pick DH from the station when mine were 12 and 8.

PosiePootlePerkins Sat 21-Oct-17 22:14:36

Probably 14/15 but we're not there yet.
And when I have left him all day, my mum has popped in to see if all is ok and to keep him company for an hour or so.

tempstamos Sat 21-Oct-17 22:18:19

I think it definitely depends on the child, where you live, where your going etc not just on age.

Couple of hours 8-10
Day 10-12
Evening 12+

I think 14.5 is definitely fine to be left alone in the evening, especially if they say they are okay with it.
Do they have phones and know what to do in an emergency?

clary Sat 21-Oct-17 22:28:44

Oh yes OP that's fine. My DC were 17, 15 and 14 when DH and I left them overnight this year!

Think that was the first overnight alone, but an evening, ds2 was max 12

kittensinmydinner1 Sat 21-Oct-17 22:29:23

10 on there own for an hour or two
12 all day whilst at work
14 5-10pm

14 yr old babysat all the above with 12 yr old and 8yr old.

This was when we lived in a cul de sac with close friends and neighbours nearby.

Now we are very rural with neighbours in walking distance. So same as above EXCEPT 5-10pm .
Wouldn’t be happy with that until 15 yrs.

However the more important thing in all this is temperament NOT age. I am lucky as all dcs very easy, sensible & compliant. Also sex distribution helpful with dd/ds/dd.
If I had three boisterous, hyper, boys then it’s entirely possible that none of the above would apply.
My DH has 4 dcs. At 17, 16 12 & 10 he wouldn’t leave them alone for an hour as they beat each other up (pinching and slapping) relentlessly and could not be trusted to behave.

This is one that has no right or wrong. Only the parents knowledge of their children and their behaviour.

Lurkedforever1 Sat 21-Oct-17 22:30:45


Depends on personality and whether you've encouraged some independence/ responsibility before. Also where you live and what support is in place for an emergency, eg a power cut.

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