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How do you deal with stress?

(46 Posts)
TheRealGussieFinkNottle Sat 21-Oct-17 15:00:33

Would love to find out, as I'm pretty rubbish!!

Things that stress me out:
- if I manage my time poorly (I'm trying to get better at this, but have had a few hairy situations when I've had lots of important things to do and not very much time to do them in!!!)
- London public transport (the Tube drives me a bit crazy angry)
- kind of related to time management, but a bit different - if I've suddenly been given things to do and have to do them to a tight deadline.
- general feelings of anxiety and uncertainty (e.g. over my current job situation, which is ad-hoc hours, and how I can reply to anyone (normally, close relatives, who do mean well, but still...!) who ask me what my plans are for getting a full-time job and never seem to be satisfied with my answer(!!!))

All tips welcome smile

InappropriateGavels Sat 21-Oct-17 15:20:38

I had to find something to channel my anger into so I chose a violent contact sport which I play two or three times a week. It helped me work out my anger. I also really enjoyed it which meant that I stopped thinking about the things that were bothering me.

You need time away from the things that stress you out, so you may as well find something that you'll enjoy doing and that will take your mind off all the crap. It doesn't matter if it's something that you can use to take your anger out on, or simply doing a bit of colouring. Make time for it - I used to think I didn't have time to do any of it between getting up at 5am, working in central London and not getting home until nearly 8pm, but I forced myself to make time for it.

Caulk Sat 21-Oct-17 15:24:04

I’ve had 6 years of therapy and that has helped a lot, as it’s taught me why things make me stressed.

I run a few times a week, spend time with friends and make stuff. That all helps.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 21-Oct-17 15:26:26

When I'm stressed I deep clean a part of my home. It really helps me to focus on the task at hand and clear my mind of all the nonsense that causes stress. I also strongly believe that a tidy, well organized home benefits every aspect of your life, from anxiety to time management's. I also learned a long time ago to not be held hostage by nosy, rude people. Your "close relatives" are not entitled to your personal information, and you DO NOT owe them an explanation for anything. You really need to set boundaries and demand they respect them. If not, you won't be communicating as much, if at all.

TheRealGussieFinkNottle Sat 21-Oct-17 15:51:15

Thanks so much everyone smile just bumping in case anyone else has any other ideas to add.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 21-Oct-17 16:08:12

Like @InappropriateGavels, I have adult colouring books as well. I LOVE them. They are so relaxing. Just to clarify, they aren't "adult" in a sexual way, they are simply colouring books with very intricate designs made for older children/teens/adults. I told my mum about them a couple of years ago, and she said "Adult?! What does THAT mean?!" grin

InappropriateGavels Sat 21-Oct-17 16:10:13

Aquamarine1029 Can you imagine The Joy of Sex as a colouring book? wink

FrannySalinger Sat 21-Oct-17 16:12:54

If she can’t I can and it sounds fabulous! Deciding on the colours for those beards and enormous 1970s bushes. I’d buy it.

stoneagemum Sat 21-Oct-17 16:16:20

Gin! - Fridays and Saturdays only otherwise it adds to the stress

Aquamarine1029 Sat 21-Oct-17 16:39:40

@InappropriateGavels That would be the best colouring book ever!

ForalltheSaints Sat 21-Oct-17 16:42:05

Keeping work and home separate (I don't socialise with any work colleagues outside work, and am selective even when it comes to leaving do's).

A good nights sleep as much as possible (catch up tv has helped, as you watch something next day and reduce the number of late nights).

Cheeseontoes Sat 21-Oct-17 16:49:38

My first mechanism is yoga, if my mind & body feel healthy it helps me to isolate the stress which in turn makes it seem more manageable.

My second is an obsession with makeup. It's a weird one. I have spreadsheets and vast pages of information on everything from ingredients to reviews. When I'm feeling stressed I'll tune it into some makeup research which will inevitably lead to buying something new as a treat but the research will usually take around 4 weeks.

I think it's effective as it works as a distraction and allow me to take control over a situation. My stress often stems from situations I have no control over so it's nice to have the balance.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 21-Oct-17 17:23:24

@Cheeseontoes I think your method of using make up research is really interesting! It's kind of like my deep cleaning method - I just get lost in it and block out everything else.

JaceLancs Sat 21-Oct-17 19:03:38

I swim and relax in hot tub, sauna etc at my gym 2-3 times a week
I find knitting and jigsaws quite therapeutic
Use relaxation recording apps etc
I still find sleep often eludes me and struggle to banish not just negative thoughts but plain just too many thoughts
Watching with interest

RoboticSealpup Sat 21-Oct-17 19:48:45


fairyofallthings Sat 21-Oct-17 20:15:08

citalopram, alcohol and chocolate.
None of which work so I take the citalopram, not the alcohol and sometimes the chocolate.

I'd love to find something else that works.

threestars Sat 21-Oct-17 20:18:09

Meditation - Headspace app is good - gives you 3 minutes of breathing space/helps with sleeping.

TheWorldIsMyCakePop Sat 21-Oct-17 21:00:38


Healthier/better ideas - jogging, pilates, adult colouring

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 21-Oct-17 21:15:48

Have a routine of immediately shower when I get home, change into clean PJ
It feels like washing away the day and emerging as a clean me.
Have a set skin care regime too
Pack work bag on a Friday ready for Monday so I don’t have Sunday night task
Listen to James Rhodes in bed.

formerbabe Sat 21-Oct-17 21:16:55

Eat sad

StripeyDeckchair Sat 21-Oct-17 21:19:20


Oh! Wait, no.......

Liz38 Sat 21-Oct-17 21:26:46

My mantra is "control the controllables" with a sub text of "and accept that you can't control the rest". I can't always do it but if I'm honest with myself there's usually quite a lot of controllable going on that I've let go. I hate being late and feeling disorganised and I get stressed if my routines get broken so i nag myself to do stuff in plenty of time and it means I avoid stress of being late rather than dealing with it. So for example I have a small wardrobe of work clothes, minimal decision making involved. Before bed in the evening I will have organised breakfast and my packed lunch, DDs packed lunch and her and my clothes and any chores that will need doing. Then I don't have to rush and get stressed about being late.

Liz38 Sat 21-Oct-17 21:27:54

I deal with stress with chocolate but that triggers the IBS that is also triggered by stress so it's a bit counter productive!

MeadowHay Sat 21-Oct-17 22:30:38

I'm not always on top of things but thanks for this thread OP as it has helped me think I need to get on top of some silly little things that are needlessly adding to my anxiety. I'm on the autistic spectrum and have struggled with chronic and often severe anxiety disorders since childhood but I do have some coping mechanisms that help me, although I do take the odd diazepam when things are uncontrollable.

Getting busy with something else helps if I have the energy. I do cleaning sometimes like another PP said, I find that helps and I get stressed and anxious when the house gets messy, I feel much calmer when things are clean and tidy and organised!

I don't do nearly enough exercise as I should, but I have chronic pain problems with my back and knees, so I do try to make some time out for a few strengthening exercises for these areas, and some stretching at home. I have invested in a really good quality yoga mat which helps to motivate myself. I find concentrating on counting when I stretch or the reps I do in exercises helps me.

I also once was in counselling for about 9 months, weekly sessions with a therapist that I got a great connection with and that really helped too gradually. I doubt I will ever forget her. Though that was when my anxiety disorder was so bad that I couldn't leave the house on my own most of the time so a different kettle of fish like.

I get up a bit earlier in the mornings than I strictly need to as otherwise if I'm rushing about everywhere I feel more stressed and anxious. This way I don't have to rush, I spend about 25 mins eating my cereal for breakfast with a cuppa and watching some of BBC Breakfast. Find that helps. I also try to pick my outfit and pack my bag for work the night before. I've lost my way with this one a bit but will try again for next week as it does help with stress and time on a morning.

I have noise-cancelling headphones which help me with sensory inputs when I'm out as that's an anxiety trigger for me being autistic, I am listening to a long series of historical podcasts on my way to and from work with them which helps me not worry about what I've got to do at work on my way there and helps me quickly switch off from work on my way back.

I try not to think about work outside of work. If I catch myself thinking about it I immediately tell myself 'no - stop -' and change my train of thought to something else. I will continue to do this on and on if thoughts reoccur for awhile. My job is not high-stress though and there's really absolutely no need for me to think about it outside of work.

I also go to bed early-ish and almost always get at least 8 hours sleep a night. I am one of those people who needs loads of sleep and get very tired and irritable and stressed when I'm tired.

I have two guinea pigs who keep me happy and occupied too and having a cuddle with them is a great stress reliever and always cheers me up if I feel sad.

I try and eat well too. My diet is not the best but I do eat a fair amount of veg and I always eat three good meals a day plus snacks and am a healthy weight.

Bunnyfuller Sun 22-Oct-17 00:10:06

I enjoy up cycling furniture, cuddles with kids/dog and anything nature. I work in a very 'people' environment and do crave silence and solitude quite a bit! If I'm in the mood cooking/baking.

I sound like Kirsty Allsop but in reality I'm a very scruffy loner who only does friends in minuscule doses!

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